Feel like a failure

[Mmm8]

Just need somewhere to vent a bit

DS is 7 month old next week and I just feel like I’m doing a shit job

we started weaning 6 months on the dot and not before, he’s still not fully taken to it. It feels like a struggle? I don’t even know what to do anytime he gets frustrated at meal time I stop because I don’t want him having negative food / eating associations

He is patchy with sleep. We get from 7/8 until 11/12, he has a little top up feed. Then from 3 until 8 am he is in such a light stage of sleep that I spent 2 hours settling him last night. He was asleep anytime I held him but awake if I popped him down but I was tired so I had to keep popping him down which may have prolonged it

and something that I’m worried about is he isn’t fully sitting unaided yet. He loves to roll to one certain side and is great at holding himself up on his front! But sitting up unaided he can only do for a minute or two if there’s a toy in front. He can’t fully do it yet. How can I help
him with this?

He starts nursery when he’s 9mo and I’m so nervous I want him to be able to sit up when he goes in case staff turn their backs and he’s fell over and hurt himself. I don’t want to put him in nursery this early but I have no choice with work and finances :(

I just feel so sad and like I’m failing him

All sounds completely normal so don't panic. Sleep deprivation makes everything seem worse but he sounds like many other babies.

Have you heard the saying "food before 1 in just for fun". He should still be getting the majority of calories from milk so don't put pressure on the food side but keep offering a good range and he will get there in the end.

Some babies sleep and some don't but again they all do eventually. Top up feeds are normal at this age too. You need to find ways to make sure that you share the load when you are back at work though for your sake rather than his.

Also don't worry about nursery- my DS went at 9 months and was fine. It took him a long time to settle but other than that he was fine. I panicked about eating, feeding, napping etc but it was all ok.

Going back to work is hard but I see nothing in your post that suggests you are failing your son.

You’re not failing him at all. You care deeply and he sounds like a perfectly normal, lovely baby!

You’re in perhaps the hardest bit of the baby years sleep-wise - when you’ve been chronically sleep deprived for months already and still have months of it to go! Everything feels worse when you’re not sleeping. Could you co-sleep or get one of those side cots that can go next to your bed, so you could hold his hand or rub his tummy while you lie down and rest? Do what you can to meet both of your needs - don’t run yourself completely down in his favour as that’s not good for either of you.

2 months to go until nursery - that’s a long, long time for him to learn to sit. He’ll be a different baby by the time you go back to work! Try not to worry too much. Nursery staff are trained to look after babies and they genuinely care about them, so he’s not going to come to harm with them. Do you think you’re feeling anxious about leaving him and letting go of him? It’s a scary ride being a parent - constantly having to let go and let our children fly the nest in tiny ways day but day, but that’s what they’re meant to do. Try to focus on the joy of seeing him grow and learn and become his own little person.

You’re not a failure at all. He sounds very normal.

Of course you’re worried about his development - every living involved parent worries.

I know going back to work is hard but it will be ok. If you think it would help you to talk about that then there is always someone here who knows exactly how you are feeling.

Oh my goodness. You have a normal 6 month old. Social media may have us believe that all 6
month olds are sleeping through, eating a wide range of food and crawling…but it really isn’t the truth. Don’t forget, it’s 3 months until he goes to nursery. That’s a third of his life. He’ll be in a completely different phase and stage of development by then. Please don’t worry about the future.

Don't worry. Babies are very resilient and as long as they're loved they thrive. Not sure that helps, but wanted you not to feel so disheartened.

What does your Health Visitor say? Have you any friends/relations to share your concerns with?

Weaning is about letting him explore colours/shapes/textures/tastes of different foods. Have you looked up 'baby-led weaning'?

Enjoy the time you have before you go back to work; it'll be gone in a flash. Making baby laugh will make you feel better. Very best wishes.

It sounds pretty normal, most babies I know we're more like 8 months before they could sit completely unaided. I found mine took more of an interest in food when they could pincer grip, this is just developmental and think it's also about 8 months.

As for sleep, again normal, even adults sleep more lightly in the second part of the night. There are various sleep regressions expected until 18 months so there's not much you can do wrong with sleep at this age.

Nothing you've said sounds worrying.

You’re definitely not failing! Everything you’ve said sounds really normal.
I was also worried about going back to work months before it happened, DD changed sooo much in the months in between that I really just wasted time worrying unnecessarily. Even 1 month is a really long time for a baby and they can develop a lot in that time, it’s such a big percent of their life.

Have you thought about sleep training at all? That's what made the biggest difference to me at this age - I found once I was getting proper sleep again that I was much less worried about all the niggly details of milestones and eating and all that!