The thing I didn't realise about being a parent

[numberthirtytwowindsorgardens]

Has anyone else found that, since becoming a parent, they just don't like themselves anymore?

I have two (planned, much wanted) DC, 3 and 6m. And I've just become the most awful person. Younger DC doesn't sleep and is ebf, which has just made my world so small. I have nothing to think, talk about, do except to do with the children. I'm exhausted and cross all the time, and my brain, which used to be quite good, just doesn't work anymore.

I'm really scared I'll never get it back. Anyone else?

It passes. Hang in there.

I had no idea how all-consuming it would be. I have 3 DC aged almost 3, 5 and 7.5. It is all consuming when they are not at school/nursery. I don't know why I didn't expect that.

I m an only child and from being quite small spent time by myself doing things. My 3 are incapable if that at the minute.

I remember DH saying how glad he was when I went back to work after having DD1. He said I had got really boring while I'd been at home with her, and that my main conversations were about nappies, and how much DD had slept/eaten/cried/pooed.

Yes. I know he's sick of me - I'm sick of myself.

Good news is at 6m you can sleep train. A week of CC and you'll be sleeping decently again and that's the biggest barrier to feeling like a proper person IMO!

Yep, I feel the same. I do hope that once they're older I'll be more interesting again! I notice it in friends too. And if there's a child-free friend with us I become acutely aware of how boring and mundane our chat has become: nannies and schools and playgrounds and milestones ARGHHHHH

Genuinely, it gets better. That first year or so you just have to decide which one will cry for a bit while you sort out the other one.

Now a few years down the line things are easier. And I sleep more. And I slowly have more time / headspace.

Hang on in there. You're going through the toughest part.

Thank you for the kind messages feel a bit teary now.

I can deal with the sleep deprivation, the frustration, all of that. What I fear is that I have somehow lost all the things that used to make me a good person, and I'm worried I won't get them back because now I'm solely a dairy cow/toy tidier/punching bag/support appliance for everyone in my household.

Your youngest is only 6mo. Do you have mum friends? I find that helps because I can gush baby/toddler stuff with them and I know I'm not boring the pants off them because we all care intently about each other's children XD

Then when the children get bigger you've bonded and you can talk about other things that don't revolve around bodily fluids or counting sleep hours.

I had DS1 and then a ten year gap before DS2 and 3 so I've been there and then out and now I'm here again, it's OK. You do get out of it. Embrace the phase of life you're in. It's fine to be baby obsessed if that's making you happy now.

I think you’re being very harsh on yourself.. you’re at the hardest part and so I don’t think it’s reasonable to feel as you do because currently that’s what your life is about! Could you change something and see if you can get some mojo back? A few hours each week of no kids? Or a small habit you can add in that you enjoy, unrelated to them- an audiobook or some meditation before bed. Just a couple of ideas. Good luck! I’m sure it’ll pass x