What traits did your ‘less obvious’ ASD/ADHD child display?

[fatlazycow]

As title asks really. I have one autistic child where it has always been very obvious from the beginning and he was quickly diagnosed by age 4 a few years ago. However, I am now beginning to wonder about my other older child for various reasons.

So I am interested in what signs your child showed, particularly for those who were diagnosed a bit later or it wasn’t particularly ‘obvious’ straight away.

My youngest has ASD and was always very obviously different- delayed in development and all the classic things like waving, pointing etc. my older boy was diagnosed with ADHD type 2 at age 9. His teacher called it to our attention, as his SEN were so subtle vs our youngest that we thought he was doing fine.

Apart from school results, I think the symptoms were anxiety & emotional immaturity. There was some struggles with fine motor skills but nothing marked enough to flag concerns. His pencil grip was poor, but was resolved by OT. He showed symptoms of dyspraxia, but not bad enough to score below normal etc. He's doing fine now, especially as he's matured but we did struggle for a few years, especially in primary school. I don't think he will ever excel academically but I'm certain he'll find his niche eventually as he's a lovely young man.

Bumpy transitions at all stages of school but as these did not manifest in meltdowns and they were generally positive in school until mid-teens -overlooked. A very clear special interest (that was actually very protective as it gave them an identify). Definitely my highest needs baby but as I learnt their cues quickly and had a set routine and realised they needed darkness and quiet to sleep (I know this is not the case for all kids with ASC), it was not a huge issue. Early speech, only having one close best friend at a time. Very, very quirky. Some low key sensory things throughout childhood around clothing and food but again, we just responded and these were managed.

All dissolved at about 14 with massive anxiety issues, OCD, struggling with being in school etc. Got diagnosis at 17. It helped and maturation also helped.