Mother at child’s school

[Lesleyann13]

Hi,

I am just looking for some advise on how to deal with a situation. My daughter is 8 and she has a best friend at school. Over the past couple of years I got friendly with the child’s mother and we would take them places together etc.

my child’s friend came for a sleep over a few months ago and her behaviour was a bit much for no reason she shut down and refused to speak to us for an hour for not reason until my daughter was sobbing. The. Recently there have been some incidents at school and my daughter has come home crying. I spoke to the mother and I wasn’t rude about it but I said something seems to be going on and my child has been upset over it.

Her reaction has been unbelievable, she went to the school and asked the teacher to keep them apart because I said her child is bullying me. This really upset my daughter. I now we feel we cannot have a friendship because I think she has behaved in a really irresponsible way. I tried to speak to her once about her going to the school but she believes there is nothing wrong with this. I have given up with her? Any thoughts? Anyone had a situation like this. It’s very awkward. Luckily I drop my child off early for breakfast club so I can avoid her.

You need to step away from the friendship, it's obviously over.

I'd concentrate on encouraging other friendships for your DD.

In future let school deal with all situations..
Ime.

What really stands out to me is that while at a sleepover at your house her child completely shut down and wouldn't speak. That's really alarming behaviour and must have had a trigger of some kind - if I were you, rather than thinking about the impact this had on your daughter, I'd be wondering what on earth happened between the girls for this child to become so distinctly distressed. And why did you let it go on for hours?! Why didnt you call her mum after 15 minutes of zero speaking and let her know what was going on?

To me, it sounds like you're very much only seeing this from your perspective and are failing to take into account that there is almost certainly more to it, from the other side of the story.

Practically though, I agree with PP. Do nothing, let school handle it.

I won’t be coming here for advice again. Jesus Christ!!! Sod off I did call her her mother. Her mother said she has sulks like this all time. I’d never seen it before and didn’t know what was wrong. Judgemental much?

I’d probably advise you not to give advice because you’re terrible at it.

Ok now I completely get why the girl's mother feels like you're bullying her child. Are your responses usually so disproportionately aggressive?

Woaaaah op relax babe have a coffee!!

I think it has become clear that the other mum made the right choice to step back and not discuss it further with you.

In general it is best for children this age to have flexible groups of friends rather than fixing on one best friend. This means that when the inevitable fallings out happen, they can just play with their other friends.

Jesus Op, no need for your reaction no one had said anything wrong/bad. I can probably see why the other parent did what they did because you are batshit.

she went bay shit because she is bat shit. Unfair judgement on what is a sensitive subject for me. I won’t be returning no worries

she went bay shit because she is bat shit.

She's not the only one

The other child's mother was quite right to go to the school if she had concerns about the friendship, and your attitude towards her daughter. That is the advice always given to parents, and for good reason. You don't sound particularly rational or approachable tbh, you've been needlessly aggressive here to posters who have said nothing remotely offensive to you. I can see why the other mum wants to distance herself and her family from you - I would do the same.

Oh wow. The other family has had a lucky scape if you think your reaction here is normal

op i think you should maybe take a step back and look at things.
the mother hasn’t done anything wrong, in-fact she has done what is normally advised.
take a step back here, are you stressed? posters were not picking at you but advising you right.
maybe look at things again when they’re calmer.

Did you read a different post?!

Afternoon all,

Thanks for your reports about this thread. The OP was fairly new to the site and has already deregistered her account. As she won't be returning to the thread we think we may as well take it down.