Worried about child abduction on holiday

[lockdownmummax]

Hi there,

We go to Spain in a couple days, my toddler is 2 but I'm really worried about child abduction when we are over there, ( I have anxiety so to stop worrying doesn't work for me :( )

I'm taking her buggy which she will be in when we are out and about, I also have the back pack reign if she's out the buggy,
Obviously she will be with me at all times! Any tips on how to stop worrying?

we are travelling with my toddler, my partner, my mum, dad, little brother and sister and my gran so there are quite a few of us which is calming my nerves, my mum has offered to watch my little one for a night whilst me and my partner go out for a meal but I just know I'll worry myself sick the full time I'm away from her

You need to get help for your anxiety. Maybe see your GP and get a referral for counselling.
You must realise this is completely irrational.

Provided you are as careful as you are at home, surely there 8s no more risk on holiday than at home?
Don't let one notorious incident push things out of proportion.

Please see your GP.

You know that this is totally irrational and it is already negatively impacting your life. Things can and will get better with help.

@Abridget7
Thank you for replying, I have actually went to my gp a couple of times about my anxiety, I got access to online links which never really helped me
I found some managing tips of my own that work, I write down my anxious thoughts and when I'm feeling more calm I go back and read them and write a reasonable explanation next to them, it does help me but this holiday anxiety has just taken over my mind recently :(

Well you’re aware you have anxiety, but perhaps you need to check in with a gp for management of that.

I could tell you a million reasons why it’ll be ok, but that won’t help you.
What I would say is, you don’t have to leave your baby at all if you don’t feel comfortable. You don’t feel comfortable with it and that’s ok.

@TeenDivided
Thank you for replying, I am always careful at home, my toddler has only turned 2 a couple months ago so she is very adventurous and doesn't understand the danger in wandering to far away from me yet, you are right it's the same as over here I think it's just the thought of being somewhere we don't know, this all stemmed from seeing a fb post about someone's kid being attempted abducted on holiday

@WildImaginings
Thank you for replying
I have seen my gp before but they provided me with online websites which never helped much
I have my own management tips that do work but this holiday anxiety has just taken over my mind
considering private counselling for it as I think I'm doing better then one small thing will spiral and spiral

@Atomicspider
thank you for replying, I have spoke to my gp before but not much help, considering going private for counselling,
yeah I don't feel comfortable leaving her it's ashame as I do really trust my mum but just not in a different country, anxiety is horrible!

I recommend getting private counselling, it's expensive but it's miles better than what the NHS offers. Could you ask the gp about medication for the time being, if that's a route you're okay with going down?

If you don't feel comfortable leaving her, then don't. There are times to push against anxiety and times not to. (At least this is how it seems to be with my DD).
Use reins, stick with her, but try to enjoy yourselves.

@Flolawri
yeah private counselling is the best route for me I think... I have spoke to my partner about this previously and it's a price that's worth it to get me some help
i have tried the beta blockers before but they didn't really help me

This is what I was like for a very long time until I started on medication last month. Counselling did nothing tbh and cost ££. Now I'm so much more rational and don't spiral with the kind of thoughts you're having .

OP I have suffered terribly with anxiety and PTSD. Therapy worked to a degree and I would definitely recommend seeking counselling privately but I have recently started sertraline and it has given me my life back. I too would get obsessively worried about things after seeing one story or something like that, but I can believe how much the medication has helped. I know it doesn't work for everyone but it's worth a try, anxiety will steal so much from you. I thought I wasn't bad enough for medication but it's just levelled me out so much so now I can use the strategies I learnt in therapy when I do get the anxious thoughts.

@@lockdownmummax
How long did you take the beta blockers for? I take propranolol and although it took me a while to settle on them they do definitely help now. I used to take sertraline and that also helped with obsessive anxious thoughts.

I do get diazepam prescribed for flying as that makes me particularly anxious, but GP's are reluctant to prescribe if you're in charge of small children. Maybe if you explained, they could prescribe you a low dose just for the night your mum is able to look after your toddler? If your anxiety is that bad then it might be worth a try.

I sympathise, I really do. It's terrible when you KNOW you are being irrationally anxious about something but you just can't help it.

One thing not to freak out about is that Spanish people, particularly older men and women, may well tousle your child’s hair or pinch their cheek (lightly) in passing; or even pass them a sweet.

Go back to your GP.

You don’t have to be referred by a GP. You can self refer to IAPT - just google IAPT and your local town for the details.

Spanish people will make a fuss of your child but that doesn’t mean they are trying to kidnap him, it is just a different culture.

I agree you need to go back to your GP and probably ask him about medication as it is not normal to be so worried about this and thus may end up ruining the holidays for everyone.

I'm a bit of a worrier too, although it has got easier as my DC have got older.

I think its reasonable to feel more worried when you're away from home. After all, there will still be hazards, but they are unknown hazards - the pool in the garden, the toilet cleaner in an unlocked cupboard, the wobbly table that topples onto a toddler when they lean upon it...

Would it help if you arranged to put your DD to bed before you go out for the evening? Have a baby gate (the cottage may provide one, or you could bring a travel one with you) across her bedroom door so she can't wander around on her own. Check her room thoroughly for hazards, such as dangling blind cords, furniture near the window that she could climb up onto etc. Leave your mum with the baby monitor so she can see if your DD is out of bed.

When on holiday, arrange for a specific person to watch your DD when you are in the shower, at the shops etc. This is much safer than saying, "I'm just going for a shower, everyone keep an eye on DD please", because then everyone tends to assume that somebody else is watching the child. So always ask a particular person, and make sure they're awake and have heard your request.

I hope you these ideas help you to feel empowered to keep DD safe, and that you all enjoy your holiday.

Apple AirTag her?

Then go to the GP when you get home