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21month old struggling with social interaction and environments

4 replies

Akshayan · 12/07/2022 20:05

My son was born during lockdown 2020. He barely saw any people for the first 6months. Then it became a gradual thing to see people, like Family parties every 1-2 months. He was fine with people up until about 8/9 months when seperation anxiety kicked in. Ever since then up until now he just doesnt socially interact. Even if he sees the same people every week, he still would not accept them picking him up. He just wants to be with me and my husband in crowded places. I would expect that after an hour or so he would allow people to pick him up etc and he would play with other kids his age or older but no. He interacts, looks at them, smiles, gives hi5, responds to their funny faces etc but doesn't go near anyone. At the nursery he accepts his key worker having a few other kids around her too. They said that he is okay with them playing near him but he has not started to interact with them. He just plays with his own stuff. At what age would you expect toddlers to communicate and play with other kids ? At home its just me and my husband and he is very social with the two of us meaning he loves playing with us not just with toys but things like tickling, throwing a ball at each other etc just the way you would expect him to play with other kids. Is this normal ? Anyone with a lockdown pregnancy/baby facing the same ? I am just hoping that this will improve soon with his nursery. Its making it hard for us to take him out to activities that involve other kids. Attending parties are hard too as we cannot allow anyone else to keep him at the party whilst we have our dinner or something. I am taking him to swimming lessons atm but after the third class he was not very happy mainly because its a close knit social environment. I am not sure how I can improve this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MolliciousIntent · 12/07/2022 20:07

Very normal and nothing to do with lockdown. Some kids just aren't as keen on others.

Namechanger965 · 12/07/2022 20:12

It’s normal OP, DD1 was like this, even though she went to nursery at 1 and saw family regularly. DD2 was born at the start of lockdown and she is even worse, she’s fine with familiar people but won’t even look at strangers, just scowls or cries. I don’t think it’s lockdown though, just her personality, she’s only happy with people she sees very regularly like my family, DHs she just cries at. She’s fine with other kids though, so I don’t think it’s lockdown just being a bit shy.

AliceW89 · 12/07/2022 20:24

Sounds normal, not sure it’s anything to do with lockdown. I’m not sure I know of any toddlers who are happy to be picked up, especially if it’s not on their terms and/or by people that aren’t their direct family. DS still wants me right by his side at toddler group, which is definitely the norm - the toddlers happy to just venture off on their own are definitely in the minority. I wouldn’t expect any 21 month old to play with other children. The earliest that occurs is about 3, but for a lot of kids it’s more early primary school. Parallel play (ie doing their own thing) is developmentally normal.

I think you might be overanalysing the swimming situation. Are you sure he just doesn’t like the general environment/feel of the water/has realised that swimming is potentially a bit scary? I used to take DS swimming with a group of mum friends. As babies, they all loved it. Without fail, they all went off it as toddlers. Seems quite common from MN searches!

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Mummy0307 · 19/06/2023 18:11

My daughter was born during the lockdown and acts the same as your son. How is your son doing?

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