Partner treats his son different to siblings

[Sunshine978]

My partner has two kids, a son aged 5 and a daughter aged 4 to his ex, I have a daughter aged 4 to my ex, we live together and have done for nearly 3 years. I’ve always noticed how he highly thinks of his son as in, in my partners eyes he can do nothing wrong, but as he’s getting older it’s becoming more apparent. We’ve talked about having a baby at some point, but my partner said he doesn’t want one at the same time because if it’s a boy and doesn’t turn out like his current son he’s not going to be happy. When he’s naughty I tell him off the same as I do the girls but if his dad catches him doing something he shouldn’t, he pretty much let’s him get away with it, where as if it was the girls doing it, they’d be shouted at. Recently he drew on the walls I asked him about it and why he’s done it and he denied it but instantly started crying so I knew he had. I told him off ( we do time out, taking a toy, they can have it back once they understand what they did wrong) this morning I found that he had drew on the walls again, and his dad just said don’t do it again. But if it was one of the girls he would of full on shouted at them, when his son being older than the girls should know better. Its stuff knows he’s wrong but he knows his dad will let him get away with it. He’s had his school reports today and is really proud of his son, and I know when we receive the girls on Thursday he won’t be as proud as he is today. Idk just he let’s his son get away with stuff but if it was the girls it would be a different story and it’s really starting to irritate me, has anyone else dealt with this type of thing?

What sexism?

Plain favouritism?

Google golden child, causes no end of issues.

Also sexist, etc. Don't look for the why, actions are more important. The girls will notice...

We only live in a 2 bed house so the kids share a bedroom for the minute, he broke the tv in their room, blamed the youngest, so I told her off, for him to admit it was him because the girls were adamant it wasn’t them, so I tell him off and his dad said I’m being too harsh because he admitted it, but he lied to me first so he’s getting told off for that too. I’ve tried explaining to him multiple times he gets into more trouble for not telling the truth the first time. The girls fight all the time and he’ll slyly push them or hit them and say he hasn’t done it even though I can watch him do it and he stands and lies to my face. They lost their bio mam when he was 3, didn’t live with her as his dad got custody of them long before she died. When he’s sad he just blames it on missing their bio mam so he gets what he wants. He’s favourited by his nanna too and it’s so obvious, I just don’t know what I’m meant to do. He’s naughty for me all the time because I don’t favourite him but no one else see’s it.

Did the mother have any type of contact at all

I'd be having second thoughts about this relationship. I certainly would have a child with him.

Whose house is it?

It isn't going to do the girls mental health any good growing up in this environment is it? Not doing yours any good either. You need to stand up for yourself and the girls.

That comment about not being happy if another son doesn't turn out like the first.

How can you be with a man like that and consider more children with him?

He’s favourited by his nanna too and it’s so obvious
of course he is. Generational sexism. Your dp’s daughter will undoubtably suffer all her life with poor boundaries and poor choice of partner. Your daughter will as well if you do not end this soon. Before irreparable damage is done.

do you work? How much? What are yours and your dp’s roles in the home?
He’s naughty for me all the time because I don’t favourite him but no one else see’s it. does this mean you are doing the bulk of the parenting? Is that seen as your role? Your responsibility? where's your dd’s father? What is he like as a partner and father?

This relationship sounds like it progressed extremely quickly. Never a good idea with children. Youre in a two bed already with three children, with massive parenting concerns of the father, so stop this talk of having another.

I could not live with a man who treated my child/ren like second class citizens in their own home. I don't know how you can even be considering ttc with this oaf.