So this morning 5 minutes before dropping my DS8 at school I found out from him that he had flooded a bathroom at his activity almost two weeks ago.
I only found out because I mentioned it to him on walk to school, intending to ask if he knew anything. I could tell from his face he knew something so I told him to look at me and he then admitted it. The activity leader had emailed the parents the day after to tell us someone had done this but due to some upsetting family stuff that happened on the day of the email, it slipped my mind.
He admitted he knew the plug was in and that it would flood onto the floor.
I was shocked and so disappointed in him. I think my reaction had more of an impact than if I had been cross at him. He was upset that he had upset me and was full of apologies.
He couldn't tell me why he had done it. I asked if he was feeling cross or upset. He said he thought he was feeling silly. It's poss quite difficult to remember what he was feeling/thought as it's two weeks ago. (We do know He was going through a very difficult defiant streak in the few days leading up to this - the family thing which happened seems to have snapped him out of it a bit as we've all been upset)
I have told him we are going to have to speak after school and decided what we do.
He said he doesn't want to go to the activity now, not because he doesn't like it, but as a consequence. He says he can't be trusted. I have told him that being sorry means you cannot hide from what you've done and he is going to have to tell the activity leader. He really enjoys the activity so it wasn't done as a way to get himself removed from it.
We're really shocked he has done this and trying to work out best way to deal with it.
Would appreciate any thoughts on how you would deal with it in terms of what he needs to do/consequence/duration etc