How do you have a day at home?!

[WildOnce]

I took my baby and 3yo to an activity this morning. Usual challengers excepted, it was all fine. Naps then lunch all good,

I decided to stay at home in the garden for the afternoon as it nearly 30 degrees. It’s been a nightmare. 3yo constantly wanting something else, hitting brother, won’t play with paddling pool, not interested in activities, or mud kitchen, trampoline, sandpit - the bloody myriad of things we have. It’s mainly because he wants me to do it all with him but I’m trying to watch the baby too. It’s just been constant shouting from him since 1.

it reminded me why I ALWAYS go out or only stay at home if it’s a play date. So mumsnetters, tell me, how the fuck do you have a successful day at home with your kids?

That sounds tough. Is the pool in the shade?

My 3yo knows that i am not here to entertain her 🤷🏼‍♀️ but then i have never entertained her or done all plqying with her at home so that's nothing new

if i am spending a day at home i normally will sit myself on the sofa watching whatever i want to watch for example And she plays around me with her toys etc. If i am out in the garden, i have set her paddling pool, sandpit up etc for her to play with while i'm out there.

If she whinges, i tend to ignore, give her options of what she can play with and carry on with what i want to do

What age is the baby? Can baby be put down while you play for a bit with him?

I do loads of days at home with my almost 3 year old. He does lots of independent play so maybe work on that with your 3yo to make things a bit easier on yourself? Not easy in This heat regardless though!

It’s hard OP- I have a 1yr old and a 4yr old-
my 4 yr old behaved terribly on Saturday so I had her stay in her room in the morning rather than go to the park. Was hell.
not all kids play nicely by themselves- my eldest was never a toy person and needs an activity outside or social interaction. God bless school!

My 2.5 yo does not do independent play. Luckily my 6m old does. I park baby under a tree and play along with the toddler, obviously with baby in sight and well taken care of

If I'm at home, I make sure I give my toddler lots of dedicated attention (either with the baby in th sling, or putting the baby down) before expecting her to play by herself. If she's regulated and feeling like she's had enough of my time, attention and affection, she can play by herself for hours. If she's having an off day or I haven't been able to give her that quality time before expecting her to entertain herself, then I'll be shit out of luck.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers you sent a 4yr old to their room for the morning!? Surely that's OTT.

Imo dc learning to play and behave at home is vital. And more important than trips out every day.

@Lazypuppy i wish I could do that! He always wants interaction which I’m happy to give but can’t do it 24/7.

@hellosunshineagainx how can I
encourage it? When I leave him to
something he usually trashed it in protest.

@Cuddlywuddlies baby is 9 months. He wants to be in everything we are doing. I am thinking about getting some play fence type thing. Licking the baby is currently napping and we are playing nicely in the sandpit. I don’t know how to get to a place where he know he can’t get that 24/7. The morning was all about him!

@

See when you're constantly providing activities and outings for children they don't learn how to entertain themselves!

Boredom is good for kids. When my dd was little and she said she was bored I'd say "well you can help me with the washing/tidying/cooking" etc and she would soon find something else to do!

I play with them a lot tbh, or at least start them off. My baby is 1 though, was harder when she was too small to play but even then she could lie on a mat in the shade with some toys for a while. So today we've:

Done "baking" in the mud kitchen with shaving foam and some old flowers (I played for about 10 mins then sat in the sun shouting encouragement and being brought cakes for another 45 min)
Played in the paddling pool on and off all afternoon
Had a picnic lunch in the shade
Did some chalk drawings then washed them off with the hose
While baby napped me and 3yo did some phonics then played a board game
Had a tea party in the play house (didn't last long as baby took to stealing the cups etc and throwing them in the pool)

That's enough in this heat! We do tend to be out and about a lot as well as I find two or more days at home and we're all stir crazy

This is a really good question, I'm glad it's not just me. Time seems to slow down with my 3 y/o at home. Whatever I try, he just doesn't seem able to amuse himself

What about a schedule and telling them what's happening?

• We're going to do... then...

• Maybe breaking everything up with a snack or treat - telling your 3yo to do an activity then break and cuddle together

I have a 4 yo and a newborn and this has got me through. Also, routine Queen - same thing every day so the 4yo knows what is coming:

• Morning, breakfast, tv, dressed, play in her room.
• Snack together, activity/play (maybe at home or out)
• Lunch together, different play
• Quiet screen time and small snack
• Tidy up time
• Dinner together
• Big play in bath
• Bed and book

Wasn’t technically all morning it was 10-11.30, when we then had lunch. She had been whacking her sister so I gave her a talk about safety and not hitting etc- then I was changing her sister and out of nowhere she fist hit me on the top of my head. I’m nipping that behaviour in the bud- she could play and colour in her room but she wasn’t going to be playing with us if that’s her behaviour

Also she’s 4 but in reception, very soon to be 5

OP if you constantly give in to his demands for his attention you are just reinforcing the behaviour. If you don't break the cycle nothing will change.

Children need to learn independant play, it is such a vital skill, and kids being bored isn't a bad thing as that is where their imagination can develop.

Fair enough.

Hello me!

I also find it hard!!

Same here, since lockdown ended when he was about 6 months old I can count the days we’ve had ‘at home’ on one hand. Our garden is not toddler friendly at all it’s sloped and needs a lot of work doing to it. I get cabin fever after a few hours and 2yo gets bored so easily. We’re always out and about.

We have a kid the same age next door. I invite her in. They play. I sittervise. Throw some messy play stuff around. Bobs your uncle. He does play well on his own tbf but the wee pal really helps!

My 4 year old enjoys a to do list we write together. or I'm writing for myself and she wants to add something like Hamma beads. But she's got a different temperament and is an only child.