How To Cope When You’re Having A Really Bad Day

[Dazedandconfused170]

I have a 9 month old very active baby, as in doesn’t sit still for a second.
There’s some personal crap I’m dealing with at the moment which I won’t go into but basically my question is, on the days where you really struggle to get out of bed and basically get anything done - how do you do it with a baby?

I try and entertain her as much as I can but everything seems really difficult today.
Then there’s the added guilt of not being able to be your best self with them

No judgement please, just looking for some friendly advice

With a nine month old I would pop them in the pushchair so they are contained, put in some headphones and go for a really long walk to get some headspace ❤️ watching for more ideas, we all feel like this sometimes x

Just do the essentials for today. Look after your baby, sort out food. At a push put a wash on.

I used to find music/ a baby disco would lift my mood.

Nap or chill out when she naps and get to bed as early as you can tonight. We all have parenting days like this. It will pass.

She doesn't need your best self all the time. She just needs you, warts and all. Be kind to yourself.

Are the problems something speaking to somebody might help with?

I found this age really difficult. My advice would be (assuming the weather is nice with you): throw a picnic blanket, some snacks and some toys under the pram and get out to the nearest park and just try and decompress. I found getting out the house invaluable and so much easier than entertaining in the house, especially when I was neither in the mental place or mood to parent to my best.

I let myself off. I was on my own with a baby and baby groups at the surestart centre. They gave me a reason to get up and something low impact to aim for, where I didn't need to look amazing, just be there, got adult interaction and my baby got stimulation. It was a win win win situation.

But the days I couldn't get out of bed? I just stayed in bed. I had a bouncer for the baby, one she could walk in, eat in. I had a playpen in the form of a baby bed. Toys, TV, anything to keep her distracted.

I had a baby monitor because leaving her felt awful so that eased my mind.

I gave myself that time to do nothing because if I wanted to do nothing, then I must have needed to do nothing. Sometimes our bodies and minds just need to recharge.

Headphones. Baby in pushchair. Walk. Music. Go in the woods or a field. Have a picnic. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe some more. I always walk when I'm stressed. It keeps me sane. It's also nice and cold in the local forest on days like today.

I came here to say a nice long walk, with headphones and podcasts. Seems like a lot of people do the same thing. Sometimes it was all I was fit for when my youngest was small and I used to regularly do 20,000 steps a day.

Hope you feel better soon OP. My friend used to say that the good thing about having a really terrible day of parenting is that the next one can't possibly be as bad. She's usually right.

As above. Endless endless walks. They love it and come home beautifully tired. Added benefit is I've never been fitter than with our high energy first, and consumed audiobooks like a Booker judge.

Local soft play. Their cafe sorted meals and drinks for us both and the ball pit and slide provided novelty, entertainment and excitement with minimal thought/input needed from me, just watching, easy play and handholding required in return for plenty of smiles and giggles. If I could find a friend to come along for some adult input too then great, but I spent plenty of hours there just the two (then when dd2 came along 3) of us, on the bad days I preferred it that way.

It was a fairly small, very quiet soft play during school hours to be fair though, wouldn't work on a weekend when it's hell on earth

What others said. Also in this weather I’d put the baby in the bath with two inches of cool-ish water and a few floating toys to splash with.

Thanks everyone, think I definitely need a couple of early nights and some fresh air and that should help