How do I turn the last nap into bedtime?

[MolliciousIntent]

DD2 is nearly 5m and at the moment has her final nap of the day around 7pm. This is generally a short one, half an hour tops, and then she's awake for about an hour-90min before she finally goes down properly for the night, in the cot generally at about 10.30.

I would kill for 7pm to be actually bedtime, obviously she'd still need to be down with us in the Moses basket but I really, really miss having a meal with my husband with no baby involved. How do I turn that final nap into bedtime?

What time does she wake up in the morning generally?

In my experience 7 pm bedtimes don’t start until they have stopped napping all together about 2 yrs. I think you need to adjust your expectations.

Are you using wake windows to guard your daughter's other naps? I found that this generally led to a 7pm bedtime

@Jurassiclover 5.30ish, though if I bring her into bed with me she'll doze on the boob til 7. Though she does some days go back down until 8. It's v hit and miss.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas this is my second baby and that hasn't been my experience (or the experience of anyone in my circle) - I agree that 7pm is perhaps a little optimistic for 5m, but 10.30pm is also not at all the norm.

@donutosaurus I do keep them in mind, but honestly I focus more on her sleep cues. Sometimes she manages 2 hours, sometimes only 1.5.

I used wake windows with my second rather than looking for cues as I just found I had too much going on. My DD2 had reflux and I was exhausted so I found it helpful and she adjusted well based on this approach. It may not work for you but perhaps it's worth a shot.

The thing about the wake windows is that they give you a range, online for a 5m baby I've seen everything from 1.5 to 2.5hrs, and they're different depending on who you ask! She's always within that range unless the previous nap was under 20min (thanks, life with a toddler) in which case she usually only managed an hour.

Have you tried the huckleberry app? I think it’s moved to a paid app but you can put in desired bedtimes etc. and it will then work out awake windows based on age and desired bedtime. I can’t remember if 5 months is too early but maybe look into it. I think they do offer a free trial so you could also try that way to see if it would work.

Just your experience. Both mine nap and go to bed at 7. Have done since 6months and 8 months. I'm not sure you can "do" anything. It just happens doesn't it?

Sleep cues aren't reliable once you get past 3 months, you'd be better off using wake windows or a loose by the clock schedule. I'd extend that last awake time by half an hour or so and put her down at 7:30 to see if she settles for the night with a bit more sleep pressure built up. An hour-90 minutes is a really short final wake window for a 5 month old. Is she on 3 naps a day?

Generally wake windows are 1.5-2.5hrs. The last wake window is 1-1.5hrs, because the last nap is only 20odd minutes usually. I've tried pushing the wake window. But it doesn't really make a difference.

She's on 3 or 4 naps, variably, depending on when she wakes and how long she naps for, but each 3 nap day is similar, and 4 nap days also follow a regular schedule. We have a pretty good rhythm going, it just ends with a 10.30pm bedtime!

No advice but following as in exactly the same boat! Also 2nd baby. Not even shooting for 7pm. 8/8.30 would be lovely!

Maybe try putting baby down at 7.30? And if she wakes just sooth her back to sleep (don't pick up).

Hmmm, we had this and managed to sort it somehow between about 4 and 6 months, when bedtime moved to about 8:30. It did eventually go to 7/7:30 but only really when he was down to 1 nap a day at closer to 1. The flip side to that is no more dozing til 7:30 in the morning, though! 😜

I'm pretty sure we did as a PP suggested and eventually pushed the wake window a little so that he didn't have that 3rd and final nap. I do remember a small stage of waking him up during his final nap for a bath and bottle, probably against all advice, then resettling him. It was just what we had to do as, like you, we couldn't work out how to make that move!

Sorry that's not massively helpful. It all blurs into one as you hit toddlerhood! Xx

This is what I do. He goes to sleep at 6, then wakes up about 6.45 but I just go in to settle him and goes straight back to sleep for the rest of the night.

I think it helps that we do the bedtime routine and he goes into his cot at 6, so he understands the separation of day sleeps and night sleeps.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas I think you're in the minority with that statement. 7pm bedtime has been the norm for us since about 8months old. It's my sanity!

My DS2 did this until he dropped naps around 2.

My 10 month old goes about 7.30.
At about 5 months old I just wouldn't let him nap past 4/4.30 so by 7 ish he was ready to sleep again.

I have a baby same age, I'll just tell you what we do.

Wake and feed 6:30am (may wake earlier but will never feed between 5-6am, just try and get to 6am with a cuddle and dummy)
Nap 8am (1.5-2hrs)
Wake and feed 9:30/10am
Nap 11:30 (1.5/2hrs)
Wake and feed 13:00/13:30
Nap 14:30/15:00 (1hr-1.5hrs)
Wake and feed 16:30 latest
Bath/ Book/ Feed in a dark room starting at 18:30

We have done this since he was 4 weeks old and he falls asleep at 19:15 like a robot baby every night 🤖

He usually stirs at midnight, and gets shushed back to sleep and wakes up properly between 2-3am to be fed.

4month sleep regression consisted of 45 minute day naps (annoying) and waking up at 12-1am to be fed and not settling after! I hope we are through that now!!

He's having 210/240ml at every feed but only 90ml at night feed.

Hope that's helpful, I think it's just dogged consistency that does it!

The thing is that no matter how late I push the last nap, trying to make it bedtime, she wakes after half an hour tops and is up for at least an hour.

Do you mean how early you push the last nap?

What do you do in the hour that she is awake after the 7pm sleep? And is she contented awake or crying awake?

So if she goes down at 10.30pm and then is awake at 5.30am that's only around 7 hours night time sleep? How many hours of day time sleep is she getting? Could she be overtired?

What's your nap/bedtime routine?

Look up Lyndsey Hookway false starts, she has a video about it. DS3 did this for a while, so frustrating. He just grew out of it although now he takes ages to fall asleep.

@PinkPhlox Contented awake, practicing rolling and trying to eat her own feet.

@Jurassiclover probably around 5 hours daytime sleep? She sleeps on the boob from 5.30-7am most days, then will have a 2hr nap, then a couple of 1-1.5hr naps, then a cat nap.

Bedtime routine is clean nappy, pjs, bag, feed in the dark in my bed, then into the cot about 90% asleep. In a few months I'm gonna try to break the feeding to sleep association but I'm pretty happy with it for now.

SO on the advice from this thread, last nap finished at 4pm and I've just done bedtime and put her down in her cot. So now I'm lying in the dark wondering how long she'll go for!

Answer - 10 minutes and then she rolled over, woke herself up and got v distressed.