Ferber - 16 month old

[mn999]

Hi,

Please no negative comments about how this isn't good etc. i don't know what else to do as I have tried everything else. 16 month old has never slept through night, has always woken multiple times wanting held or patted for hours. Did this up until now I'm due my second any day, my husband has said he doesn't want to remain married so I will be a single mum of 2 under 2 soon. I can't spend hours every night holding him, patting him and soothing him to sleep with a newborn on my own.

I tried gentler method of going in every three minutes and no longer but he wakes for two hours at a time and I was struggling going in that often being 9 months oregnant, bending down and patting him and placing him back down. He will not lay back down, stands all the time no matter how tired he is.

I'm on day 4/5 of Ferber, I hate it but I really hope it works. But he still is waking every couple hours max and taking 1-2 hours to go back down. He's so tired during the day, he's grumpy some days and only averages about 7 hours of sleep a night which seems way off what he needs.

Has anyone got any advice or experience to share?

I can't imagine how hard sleep training an older baby is!! We sleep trained at 6 months and found night 5 to be the worst night, so hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Your husband is a shit, and you're a rockstar. You can do this.

Well done for getting this far. I think Ferber is an absolute last resort and very cruel for under ones. To have tried so many other approaches up until now is great and it must be really upsetting and stressful to be so close to your baby's arrival and still have no luck. I really hope things improve for you. My first didn't sleep through until 20 months and it was hard. You have my sympathy!

My experience, look up biological normal infant sleep.

Have a look at "just chill mama" Instagram page. She gets great reviews and lots of free advice on her page

Why isn't your DH trying to settle him?

Now that you have more space in your bed I'd just cosleep with them both (you in the middle).

My first wouldn't sleep on their own for more than a couple of hours and I had a 16m gap between dc1 and dcw - it was how I maximised my sleep

Calm and bright on insta are gentle sleep teachers. Lots of free advice x