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Parenting

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Original poster

Dad taking the kids in a foreign holiday

10 replies

Harry1976 · 08/07/2022 13:36

Hi Mums. My ex husband wants to take our three children 15 10 and 6 on a foreign holiday. The plan is to stay with his girlfriends brother whe they are there. I haven't met ethier of these people. I feel very uneasy about them staying with strangers.. Does anyone else feel like this

OP posts:

MolliciousIntent · 08/07/2022 13:48

Well it's really nothing to do with you, unfortunately. Do you let him vet every person the children ever see when they're with you?

Yodaisawally · 08/07/2022 14:37

I would fee the same

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/07/2022 14:38

Do they want to go?

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Oojamaflipp · 08/07/2022 14:40

I would probably feel like you, but like a pp said he is an equal parent and has the right to do so. Do you run all new people the kids interact with by him? If so, you'd probably be able to make the point. But if not, you just have to trust that he will look after them.

Or is it more that you don't want them going abroad without you?

Ylvamoon · 08/07/2022 14:40

Have your children met the girlfriend/;brother. If yes they are not strangers to your DC.
Just remind yourself that your DC will most likely have a fabulous time.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 08/07/2022 14:40

Not sure that the post from @MolliciousIntent is all that helpful!

I think it's absolutely reasonable for parents ti each meet each other's partners. Have you been able to do that? I would definitely be asking if I could do that. Not that you get any say if he says no of course.

As for extended family, no I don't think I would feel worried unless there were obvious reasons for concern that stemmed from either your ex having issues or you hearing something that makes you particularly worried.

Fenella123 · 08/07/2022 14:41

Do you have serious concerns about ex's risk assessment and ability to keep DC safe, or not?

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 08/07/2022 14:45

And yes as others have said. Are your DC ok with this?
I got on very well with my ex's first partner after we divorced and we are still in touch.

I haven't been 'allowed' to meet the current GF. Bit odd as it was my DDs 15th the other day and the GFs voice and face filled my kitchen on FaceTime wishing my DD happy birthday, commenting on her dress and talking for ages to her whilst I dodged the camera.

I have no issue with my ex having a GF as long as they a) stick around for a while and b) are a positive influence on and like my kids!

ivykaty44 · 08/07/2022 14:49

I have no issue with my ex having a GF as long as they a) stick around for a while and b) are a positive influence on and like my kids!

how do you set up these rules?

itsgettingweird · 08/07/2022 14:53

Why do you feel uncomfortable?

If he has past history of not being able to keep your children safe then fair enough.

However if it's just you don't want them to go you need to find a way to get over it.

As mentioned above I'm sure you're kids have met friends of yours that are strangers to your XDH?

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