How to do it all..

[Mummy289]

I’m just ranting but I feel we don’t have a life any more, I have a 11, 10, 6 and 9 month old and we have no time for fun.
All week I spend it, cooking cleaning, gardening, washing etc. it’s so much it’s now at the weekends too. Our house just seems dusty all the time. Bedding need to be changed, mould pained over, garden seems to need weeding weekly. Kids clubs, hospital appointments kids in 3 different schools so 3 different sports days, parents evenings etc. then there is the lunches and the snacks to be prepared 😂. P.e kits, non uniform days, omg seems to be always something. Cars also need cleaning 😂. I know this is what all parents face but god I can’t keep up at the minute and a messy house messes with my head 🤪. So I just needed to rant because of course I don’t have time for friends 😭.

This is precisely why I stopped at 2 children! Where is their dad in all this? Surely he should be doing at least half the parents evenings, sports days etc. Is there any room in the budget for a cleaner every week? Probably only about £40 tops if you can find it.

I doubt you can do it all with four kids over such a range of ages! You just have to prioritise the most important stuff and do your best with everything else.

4 kids is always going to be hard. Can you get the older ones helping? They shouldn't be actively making lots of mess and perhaps can be trained to help clear up after youngest.

Do you work? Is youngest in childcare? If not then maybe a couple of afternoons at nursery would help.

Thanks everyone I just needed to rant, have actually done all the house work, I’m trying to do boring things on one day so I have at least 3 days with my youngest to do fun things but find it’s just been full on assuming as end of term. It doesn’t help my youngest has a range of allergies so cooking her baby food for the week as well.
Husband does help out he works long hours and his had time of for sport days etc to make up. I just really don’t want to spend our days off doing stuff around the house just the garden and cars. Just found it so full on. It’s just us two we have no family to help sometimes just find it overwhelming esp as I can’t stand a mess not that it was as the kids are good at putting things away just well you know how it is. Maybe I just need the holidays 😂. I always use to do one day a week and felt I managed to do a lot more but I suppose having a baby again is hard work as you can’t just leave them for a min. Also just getting over covid and have a sinus inefection. Just feel our weekends are full and not full of days out 🤦🏼‍♀️. We recently spent weekends sorting the loft out (our own fault using it as a dumping ground) I suppose saw our weekends getting funner, but not been the case 🤪.

@bumpytrumpy no I’m not going back this time. I think tbh I’m feeling a bit isolated not getting out and just having the four walls to keep me busy. The kids do tidy up to be fair, my sons Lego is a issues 😭😂. Sorted the kids clothes out and still need to drop them
off at a charity shop. Just finding myself finding things to do. The kids have lots of shelf’s that need cleaning etc. sadly they can’t reach them 😂. I do think it maybe me. Although why there is toothpaste on all the bathroom walls and floors 😂😂

This is why I stopped at 1.

I want to be more than a service droid for others needs and if I keep producing children that require my care then I will have to spend more and more time and energy caring for them and their varied needs

I think it's ok to say it's really hard. Allow yourself to admit that and it might help mentally.

Weekends will get fun again! Some stuff can be put off (for years in the case of the loft!!). Don't add jobs to your plate that don't need to be there. Take the cars to a car wash - fun for little ones too.

Find small ways to have fun. It doesn't have to be expensive day trips. Get fish & chips after school on a pier / river/ wherever is close by. Eat outside if you have a garden. Let the kids toast marshmallows on a bbq/fire pit. Take a picnic to the park - or just a flask of coffee and a multi bag of crisps! Set up a reading club with the older ones where you all read together after little ones in bed, maybe sharing the same book or all read your own different ones if you prefer. Or board games are also nice. Less screen time always helps.