Toddler tantrums Help /advise

[mrssunshinexxx]

My lo has just turned2 last week and it's like a switch has flicked. Wet recently I am seriously struggling with her and need some tips on best way to deal.
She tantrums over everything example leaving the park I used to just be able to say one last go on this then it's time to go' and she would happily just come now we will of had a nice time at the park but than I man handle her into the pram and she creams the WHOLE way home just taking all the nice time at the park away.

Same with literally every scenario she used to love a bath / shower now it's a battle but she needs one every night she has loads of hair and loves to get grubby. Plus it's a nice part of bedtime routine ot used to be!
I have a nearly 8 month old but she's been great with her ever since birth v v rare jealous moments but on the whole the transition has been amazing and I've been so proud of her.

Her speech is good for her age I think but no sentences yet. We go to a different type of group every week day morning and do plenty at home with her she has a big nap daily too and good sleep at night 8.30-.730/8. But I am really struggling with the hitting out throwing toys everything is 'no' and the crying omg the crying . I feel so guilty on my baby always getting pushed to the side cos I'm dealing with this. Should I be ignoring her when she's just screaming if I get in her face and offer a cuddle she just hits me then I get annoyed I want to try be more patient but it's hard !
Should add I have no childcare help or anyone has her and my husband works away usuallt mon to Fri but through summer he is doing 11 day stints covering weekends and my mental health feels poor not having any respite

Hi OP, the bit at the end about having no respite really jumped out at me given your little ones are so small. How long till that ends? Could you get a mother’s help or put your 2yo in a childminder 2 mornings a week or similar? It sounds really rough.

It sounds like you need to give your 2yo slightly more notice you’re about to leave? How about a 2 minute warning?

And then if baths are really hard at the moment, could you do the hair and nothing else? They don’t need to have a bath every night and it helps to pick your battles.

The book How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen (or something like that) is good. I like the podcast Unruffled too.

But overall this all sounds very normal to me, your lucky this toddler type behaviour only started at 2, both mine turned into boundary-pushing toddlers at 18m!

Good luck…

Tantrums are so tricky! It sounds like you’re trying your best- with no help, that’s very hard.

have you tried a timer? A visible sand one usually helps. Don’t ask for a cuddle during the tantrum- little kids can’t reason during those moments- give a cuddle once she’s started to relax but it means waiting it out. Then offer a ‘yes’ question- ‘would you like to hold my hand or hold the buggy?’ Type thing- she gets to choose one.

if any issues with a sibling, just encourage turns- I’ve found that better than saying what ‘belongs’ to whom.

it is very hard at the time, but very normal, unfortunately! If you have some tools the hopefully you’ll feel more comfortable when it happens. Good luck!

Thanks both @pjani @Michellexxx we've had a better morning but she really didn't want to go have a nap but then she has fallen asleep so she must need one ?!
I will look for that book in the library,
No I can't get financial help. She will go to pre school next September for 15 hours.
I was having a particularly bad day yesterday with my own issues and I know sometimes that makes things worse because she can tell I'm sad / grumpy,
My husband will work away worse case scenario for the next 5 years but our marriage is good and he appreciates me and me as a mother very much .

What did you mean about doing hair only ?

@mrssunshinexxx hi! Not sure if you remember me but I recognise your name- we were on the conception groups together for both of kids! I’ve been looking this up on mumsnet as my 2YO is having the same type of tantrums so was looking for some tips haha😑 How are things with 2? They are full on aren’t they!!! Was it another girl you had? If so we are the same- my 2nd is 1 on Saturday and I cannot believe how quick it’s gone!!