Trouble winding and cries in the evening

[DB1991]

My little boy is just over two weeks old. He had an infection at birth and was in NICU only until last night he was discharged and we brought him home. Feeding has been a chore as he was fed through drips we had to start him on bottles. I tried breastfeeding but it didn’t work out in the circumstances. He is fine during the day as he sleeps a lot and takes what he wants in terms of formula - he isn’t a particularly hungry baby. He hates being winded and I need a lot of patience to wind him. In the evening he gets restless and seems hungry but when trying to feed he is crying a lot and doesn’t want it, even after managing to settle him he roots around but will start crying again when the bottle is presented to him.

The hospital said they were concerned at his blood sugar levels dropping but they seem to have sorted themselves out as their tests confirmed he doesn’t have any conditions. They were expecting me to wake him for feeds but I’d rather let him sleep as it’s difficult to wake him fully and keep him awake to take a bottle. Despite this he is gaining weight and seems a healthy content wee boy.

questions are am I ok to let him sleep or should I be waking him every four hours for a feed? I’d rather let him tell me when he wants to be fed. Also does anyone know what the crying might be? It seems to happen about the same time 6pm and he is so irate he can’t settle. We’ve tried changing his nappy, singing songs and putting him to bed, dummy, milk etc but nothing works. I’m a first time mum and finding this all a bit stressful!

If he is gaining weight I would not wake a sleeping baby but you should talk to your health visitor more about this. 6pm crying time is classic colic time. 6 till 11 pm all mine cried from colic (tummy pain). Have no idea why it's always the evening but they do grow out of it soon enough and it does get better I promise.

I agree with @collieresponder88 but just wanted to add about winding. Have you seen anything about ‘wonky winding’? It is essentially where you hold your baby at a bit of an angle (obviously well supported!) with their left side lower than their right which helps the wind come out due to the anatomy of the stomach. It really helped us with winding our little one so might be of use to you.
Everything does all settle down and get easier, it feels like a long time whilst you’re living it but soon enough it’ll be another fuzzy memory!

If your baby has been in nicu and they've told you to wake him four hourly to feed, follow their advice.
They are much more qualified than anyone on mumsnet.

Please please wake him. He is two weeks old and should absolutely be fed at least every 4 hours. If they were worried about blood sugar levels he may go into a hypo without feeding. This can be fatal.
You MUST feed him. Please follow medical advice.

Babies often cluster feed too in the evening so less mill more often scenario. Try a little infacol before a feed which can help with wind and a Dr Brown anti colic bottle.
Please I can't stress enough. A 2 week old baby should not be left to decide their feeding pattern. You just feed at least every 4 hours at LEAST!

Thank you everyone your comments are really helpful. The health visitor said every four hours for feeding then changed her mind once she weighed him saying just keep doing what I’m doing .. conflicting! I think every four hours sounds right though it will just mean setting alarms during the night until he gets into his own pattern of waking up himself.

Sorry but colic isn't tummy pain. It's prolonged crying for no real identifiable reason.
www.babydoc.com.au/faq/colic-bore-your-baby-to-sleep/
This link explains it really well. I would not wake him to feed him.

I would absolutely wake him to feed and follow whatever the professionals have said.

Was he discharged with a feeding plan though??
Babies in nicu are always on a feeding regime. When discharged you can transition to responsive/demand feeding if he is gaining well.

I can not express enough how DANGEROUS it is for people to be advising against what medical professionals have advised.
A baby who has been in NICU for 2 weeks isn't the same as a healthy from birth newborn.
Please stop giving advice which could be potentially fatal - this isn't the time for "I did this with mine and they are fine".

Op, I also had a baby in special care. I know how worrying it is when they first come home. I called them the first night and said I needed to bring her back as she wasn't well enough - she was fine.
Please don't follow advice here, follow what you've been told by the professionals in NICU.

Previous poster said colic is not due to tummy pain???? I remember reading that in a childcare book. I chucked the book away.
I don’t know anyone who has had a colicky baby who says it isn’t tummy pain. Ours were better if we helped them with their legs against our chest with our arms holding their head and back and we would gently bring them in and out so in effect doing a sort of gentle stomach crunch. Very hard on the arms but it seemed to help. Plus Dr Brown’s bottles and colief. 6pm is classic colic time and it starts at about 2 weeks and ours were both finished with it before 12 weeks. You just have to get through it.

Try raising their head above stomach at all times - folded towel will do.

Some children have an under developed stomach muscle that leaks stomach acid that causes pain which usually sorts it’s self out as them grow.

By keeping them head above stomach it allows the wind to pass better and keeps the stomach acid out - you’ll know if you keep him on your chest after a feed and lie him down less flat.

Thank you everyone!! Since my post he’s been feeding more regularly although we sometimes have to wake him. The winding is less of an issue if he’s been sleeping and is a sleepy boy. Your advice and tips are much appreciated.