Sorry for the clumsy title.
i have a just turned 7yr old. She is intelligent, very loving (especially to her 2.5yr old little sister), imaginative and very interested in and knowledgeable about certain topics, e.g. horrible histories.
relevant information is that a few weeks ago i told her that her best friend since she started school will be leaving, probably next term. I didn’t want it to come as a shock when it happens. She is really attached to bf, holds hands with her etc. also relevant is 7 months ago i got a full time job, so she is in breakfast & after school club, and doesn’t always get on with several of the other kids there.
in the past few weeks she has:
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thought a boy she dislikes was staring at her, so crawled under the table and scratched him on the leg.
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chased another boy at after school club after he said he didn’t want to play and scratched him on the arm.
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attended the dress rehearsal for her ballet show and had a furious “i don’t want to do this” episode where she just stood still looking angry and growling and ruined the rehearsal for others (previously showed every sign of loving the club/show prep).
Has apparently had more minor episodes like this before, although i didn’t know.
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become incredibly attached to a recently acquired soft toy, to the extent her Rainbows leader asked me to leave it at home because she was not joining in incase the toy got lonely. Never had a beloved soft toy as a younger child.
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gets into repetitive loops about certain things - eg telling me school is boring because she doesn’t get to illustrate stories in English. She’s not particularly interested in art/illustration, has no other complaints about English, and doesn’t do anything like this in her spare time. Yet she will tell me over and over about this being why school is boring. There are other “loops” where no answer i’ve tried from understanding, to constructive, to dismissive seems to have any effect.
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i have been called a few times over the past year to be told she has to stop hugging people too much/too tightly/ invading their personal space. This ties in with my own experience that she wants to hug ALL the time, but often turns it into something almost aggressive, trying to push me over to “win” the hug.
is this badly handled anxiety/sadness about friend? Coupled with not being at home enough to blow off steam with us? Is this being 7 and pushing boundaries? Is this something else? Everyone on MN always says sagely that girls’ autism can present very differently to the standard idea, but i don’t know if any of this could be indicators? The last two points predate the friend news.
i’ve gone from being so proud of my happy, well rounded girl, to dreading the increasingly common “can we just have a word…?” At pickups. Help?