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Parenting

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Original poster

Living with my partners mum and her partner with our 9 month baby

11 replies

Kb12394 · 06/07/2022 02:03

Me and my partner moved into my mrs mums to save for a mortgage and we’ve been there 5 months now, her partner is very depressive and rubs off on us all. Since being there, the respect is non existent towards our daughter. They are loud and don’t think about our daughter when she goes to bed. We have mentioned many times about being too loud and that they could wake baby but it gets brushed off, we are now at the point where it seems like it’s done on purpose as my partner dosent get along with her mums partner. But her mum won’t stick up for her on daughter. We appreciate them letting us stay but they haven’t taken any of us into consideration, especially our little girl. We do our best to stay out the way or tidy up so we don’t become a hinderance and it’s not reciprocated. We thought my partners mum would be there for us but she does nothing to help with her granddaughter.

OP posts:

Bellyups · 06/07/2022 02:06

They are doing you a huge favour by opening their home to you both and a baby, in order for you to save. If you aren’t enjoying it, and feel they should be helping you out more (🙄), then you are free to leave.

MolliciousIntent · 06/07/2022 02:07

So move out.

ReeseWitherfork · 06/07/2022 02:10

How long are you expecting to be there? This could really escalate OP and take a while to come back from.

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Penfelyn · 06/07/2022 02:39

They're kind of being dicks. I mean yes they're doing you a favor, but doing you a favour doesn't mean they can be dicks to you all the time. Either they're happy for you to stay at their's, and they make you feel welcome ; or they're not, in which case they should be open about it and give you a timeline by which to move out.

Frankly it sounds like they don't want you guys to stay but instead of just saying it are trying to push you out.

Unless you can finish to save up within a few weeks I'd look at moving out asap. It may take you longer to save for a deposit but this is no way to live for years on end, especially for your little girl.

At this point it sounds like even flatmates would be more respectful than your in laws.

Penfelyn · 06/07/2022 02:39

As for help with the baby at this point honestly I wouldn't trust them to watch her alone.

Limpshade · 06/07/2022 02:44

"She does nothing to help with her granddaughter"... You mean, besides putting a roof over her head and the head of her parents?

They may well be inconsiderate housemates but the fact is it is THEIR house so if you feel your way of living is incompatible with theirs then you should just move out.

Spohn · 06/07/2022 09:45

Your girlfriends mother is housing you. How much more help do you want? Jfc

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/07/2022 09:50

Did they invite you to stay or did you ask? Not many people welcome two adults and a small baby staying for free. I’m sure they feel as inconvenienced by your presence as you are by them doing normal stuff in their own home. You’re not enjoying being there so move out and pay for your own accommodation.

Judging your MIL for “not helping” is ridiculous. For a start she obviously is, she’s letting you live there for free. And you’re two adults with one baby, what help do you need? Did you check they’d be giving you childcare on top of accommodation before deciding to have a baby?

There are a lot of expectations on your part which I expect they think are taking the piss.

RandomQuest · 06/07/2022 10:05

MIL is helping you by giving the 3 of you somewhere to live. It is her and partners house and they should be able to make noise of an evening if they want to (presuming we’re not talking raging parties disturbing the neighbours here). If you don’t like it, go move out and get your own place. In fact I would do so ASAP so that hopefully the relationship is still salvageable.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/07/2022 10:09

Asking them to be quiet in their home is unreasonable.
as an aside, you’re not doing your daughter any favours by trying to tip toe around. Babies who get used to some noise are usually better sleepers.

I love our daughter and grandchild very much but I wouldn’t be happy looking after such a young child, either.

FemmeNatal · 06/07/2022 10:11

I think I agree with most of the previous posters; they are doing a lot for you, and you don’t sound very grateful. It must be hard for them sharing their house like this.

How much do you pay for rent and bills, and would this be enough to rent a one bedroom flat for yourselves?

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