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Your top tips for transitioning from 1 to 2?

18 replies

MeltdownCentral1 · 04/07/2022 21:33

DD will be 26 months when DD2 is born. Won't be starting nursery until she's 2.5 for various reasons. She was quite a high needs baby but recently we've gotten into a groove and I'm genuinely enjoying the time I spend with her :) Little support nearby from family apart from weekends here and there. Any tips that you wish you'd known before #2 came along?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Whatelsecouldibecalled · 04/07/2022 21:34

Following as our DS will be 2.5 when new baby arrives!

Justmuddlingalong · 04/07/2022 21:52

The biggest shock is going from 0 to 1. The transition from 1 to 2 will be nowhere near as bad as you imagine.

NrlySp · 04/07/2022 22:01

A special basket with items that only come out when baby DC is feeding.
Low expectations in the early days and maybe a cleaner if you can afford it. Be kind to yourself. Some days are great and some difficult but remember you are doing well.
Baby carrier so you can get in with things w baby strapped to you
a play pen - put the baby in it so that the 2.5 year old can’t get to them when you don’t want them to!

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EcoCustard · 04/07/2022 22:01

I had 12 months between dc1 & dc2 and it was definitely easier than o-1 or 2-3. Get them involved and helping with their baby sibling. It has made all of mine feel a little more part of it. They would help when changing, passing a nappy, wipe etc or singing to sibling. Aim to get out for walks, park and groups keep their routine going as much as possible. Take any offers off baby holding and try and give them some one on one time even if it’s five minutes with a story. If able use a sling and get baby to nap on the go, sling or pushchair.

frazzledbutcalm · 04/07/2022 22:04

I actually think some of it literally depends on personalities …I found going from 1-2 quite difficult (due to dc2 very stubborn baby personality), whereas going from 2-3 and 3-4 was much easier, again due to how settled or otherwise they were as a baby.

MolliciousIntent · 04/07/2022 22:08

Do not make ANY major changes in your toddler's life in the 3-4 months before or after the baby is born. Potty training, big bed, new nursery etc - keep everything as similar as possible because you're about to completely change their world.

Lady1576 · 04/07/2022 22:18

Agree it depends on the personalities. My second was soooo chilled out, which made it as easy as it could be. Tips would be: talk to your dc1 about new arrival and get them excited. Get baby to bring dc a toy. Find a way to get some help so you have time with your newborn. So partner, grandparents etc can take out older kid to treat them a lot. It’ll help when older dc is in nursery too.

2ndTimeRound90 · 04/07/2022 22:33

25 months difference here and we are 8 weeks in. It's tougher than I expected, not going to lie. Everyone told me going from 1-2 is easier but to me it is just as difficult but in a different way. The newborn stuff feels second nature but its the juggling of the 2 children that is new this time. I think it entirely depends on the combination of children you end up with. My toddler is very very demanding of my attention and so it is tricky to meet both their needs simultaneously as they both seem to constantly need me, yet I've a friend with a similar age gap and both her toddler and baby are very easy-going so she is having a fairly nice time. I found the initial emotional adjustment difficult as I felt I was completely letting down my first baby, that I had ruined his life and that I had made the wrong decision by having a second...but now my love for them feels equal so its easier to want to balance the attention they get rather than just focus on him, plus I can already start to see the love between them developing and that is so exciting ❤️

Ilikecheeseontoast · 04/07/2022 22:36

Get a wrap type sling. Actual lifesaver!

Kanfuzed123 · 04/07/2022 22:41

I had this age gap and found it waaay easier going from 1-2 and 0-1 and I’ve had no help from family or friends, none whatsoever

things I’ve noticed:

expect a little regression in the toddler, wanting to be the baby again, my girl has started trying to take dummies wherever she can find them. She’s not really fussed on potty training now, again it’s the baby thing, she’s amazing at nursery but at home no and she’s 2yr 8 months.
expect toddler to be jealous at first BUT they adapt quickly, but do expect some stealing of baby’s toys when he gets a bit older.

how are you planning on feeding baby? This can be a big one as the early breastfeeding days can be challenging.

busy box for feeding
dont bother with a Moses basket downstairs the toddler will wake baby, get a carrier instead
get partner to max out the time they can take off. My Husband used his 2 weeks pat leave and then did 3 weeks annual leave and then went back 4 days a week until Baby was 10 weeks.
get a slow cooker, things you can bung in the night before turn on and turn off in the morning. Save any heavy cooking
picky plates for lunch can be great- grated cheese, some meat slices ,boiled eggs, veggies, dips some sort of rotation of this, again save the cooking.
try and get toddler involved in baby stuff so they don’t always feel sidelined (choosing clothes, passing nappies etc)
accept that screen time will happen and that the house will be messy
if you can, have one adventure day a week where toddler gets out and about, I’m not talking expensive but say to the children area of the library, a soft play, a nice long walk and a picnic in the park, splash pad if you’ve got one close so they don’t feel that it’s all about the baby

the bond between my 2 is so heartwarming and incredible, toddlers are so full of love and the baby adores her. Best of luck sweet, it will be great!

Smogtopia · 04/07/2022 22:59

Get super organised as time is too precious and there's less time to bumble through.

Set up bouncers / areas baby can be placed safely whilst you tend to toddler (I've got a bouncer in kitchen and living room - bought off fb marketplace low cost and they're both used daily)

Get your freezer stocked with easy meals

Make sure all baby clothes are prepped / bought / ready to wear

Nappy caddies so you're not carrying baby to different areas - you can change baby near toddler

Baby monitor earlier than you'd have used with pfb as you'd like to get younger one having small periods of sleep away from noisy toddler

Engaging ideas for toddler whilst you may be feeding youngest - new craft toys / Disney plus subscription!

Be easy on yourself if there's quick meals and more screen time than normal in the beginning!

bumbledeedum · 04/07/2022 23:34

Lower your expectations on whatever you think you'll achieve in one day then anything you do manage is a bonus. We're lucky our eldest will sit for a film/tv as youngest is velcro baby and has only ever slept on me and more recently will only bf if he has pretty much my undivided attention (can't even look at my phone most the time let alone entertain toddler)

agree with previous pp, it really does depend a lot on the personalities more than the age gap (30 months for us)

Pantheon · 05/07/2022 13:45

A sling
A buggyboard
One on one time with your eldest
Expect your eldest to act out a bit and offer lots of love and understanding
I found 0-1 harder in the sense of life changing but 1-2 hard in terms of hard work as you're so busy. But so lovely! Good luck :)

whosaidtha · 05/07/2022 13:48

Justmuddlingalong · 04/07/2022 21:52

The biggest shock is going from 0 to 1. The transition from 1 to 2 will be nowhere near as bad as you imagine.

I found 1-2 a million times harder. One was easy peasy.

SouperNoodle · 05/07/2022 14:01

If you don't have one already, invest in a baby carrier/sling. New baby will want to be close to you all the time and you'll still have your hands free for your toddler.
Try to get into a routine as soon as possible.
Putting my toddler into nursery twice a week while I was pregnant really helped her as she got some baby-free time and I had some one to one time with the newborn. It's important to start before baby comes so that the toddler doesn't feel pushed out xx

dhisaknob · 05/07/2022 14:01

1-2 was a breeze! Just don't do 2-3 😩

Miriam101 · 05/07/2022 17:43

Get a sling. Carve out a bit of every day to spend one on one with your eldest. Be prepared for some weird irrational BIG feelings in the first couple of weeks when you're adapting to loving TWO small people as much as you thought you could only love one.

CallmeMrsPricklepants · 05/07/2022 17:46

Love bomb the eldest very early on (first day home) and carve out time for them. I forced myself to sit and do play doh on the second day home, it was physically exhausting but so glad I did it as it made DD1 feel very secure. I carried on carving out time just for her even if I and baby in a sling.

My DD is a mummy's girl and I did spend the first few months in tears because she went to dh more and I thought I'd ruined it all. I hadn't, she's still a mummy's girl!

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