Regret..

[BiscoffSundae]

Feel awful saying this but does anyone ever regret having children?, if I could have my time again no way would I have ever had children, people say you can never regret having a child but it just isn’t true.

Throughout the years I've had ups and downs. There are times where I've regretted having children and then others where I'm so glad I had them. I think a lot of it depends on their ages and what is going on at that particular time. When I had 3 under 3 and didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, I was a wreck and wished more than anything that I hadn't had them. Now they are all primary age it's great and I'm really enjoying it on the whole.

No regrets about having my son but wish I'd started my family younger, say early 30's.

I don’t regret it but I wouldn’t do it again either. There is a lot to be said for being childless.

Hi @BiscoffSundae really interesting to read that you're feeling this way. I'm Zoe, I'm a filmmaker and I'm currently looking for women who have complicated feelings about motherhood to take part in a film I'm making with f5 films exploring regret & children. I'd love to hear more about your story & feelings if you'd like to share with me. If we were to work together you'd be kept anonymous in the film. Thanks, Zoe ([email protected]) (www.zoehuntergordon.com)

I love all of mine dearly but the amount of stress and constant worry that parenting brings makes me regret becoming a parent, our youngest is also severely disabled, lovely child but too much work to enjoy life honestly.

If had my time again I wouldn't have children.

I agree with the other poster that your regret is more about the man you married than the children you have.

You have been put into an incredibly hard set of circumstances, many women would feel the same as you.

I was brought up as one of four by a single mother who was abandoned by my father. None of us had anything to do with him when we were adults.

You need help and lots of it. I hope there’s more help out there than there was in my day. I hope other posters can offer you practicable suggestions.

I disagree entirely. DH and I were married for 5 years before children came along and have now been married 20. He is an absolute trooper. Does the vast majority of "child care" as I am the main breadwinner. He is amazing and I'm bloody lucky to have him. We have both said though that if we had our time again, we wouldn't have children. I love them blindly at times, but it is relentless and exhausting. I'm counting down the years until they are adults.

I think having or not having money makes a massive difference. I probably never would have had children if i didn't get pregnant by accident but we had money so made life so much easier. Babysitters, holidays - any issues you could throw money at the problem. I hated being tied mainly but now they are older while not the unmitigated joy you are led to believe I don't regret it.
Life sounds v v hard for you.

I can't lie I find this so difficult to read.

I have 1 toddler and another on the way. I feel absolutely and totally blessed and grateful every single day to be their mother.

Every breath I take, every penny I earn, every choice I make is for them.

Can you talk this feeling of regret out with someone professional?