I’ve been really worried about my DS recently, to the point that it’s affecting my relationship with him as I feel like I’m constantly looking for “signs” that something is “wrong” with him.
He has just turned 4 and will start reception in September. His nursery said a while ago that he wasn’t interacting with the other children and that one of the things that they think about in this scenario is ASD. He had been totally isolated during the pandemic and hadn’t really seen any kids his age until he started nursery at 3. Since they raised the issue he has made friends with other kids, including a couple of close friends which is lovely, and nursery have said they have no concerns.
The comment kickstarted lots of googling and obsessing on my part and I’ve been so worried about him. He is an anxious and sensitive child and I’m sure he’s picked up on this.
I don’t know whether I need help for me or for him or both.
In overview, on the “plus” side he met all development milestones early, excellent speech and eye contact, lots of imaginative play, very creative, excellent gross and fine motor skills, no obsessions/extreme interests, good at back and forth conversation (with me and his dad), always a good sleeper, always eaten a wide variety of foods, good sense of humour, open to new experiences, no sensory issues (other than biting his nails - see below), had typical toddler tantrums, especially after the birth of his sister but in the last year his emotional regulation has improved massively and he’s generally very even tempered now, behaves well and does what he’s told, very kind and caring towards his little sister.
BUT he is shy and was slow to settle into nursery, and preferred the company of adults (though also shy with them including family members when he hasn’t seen them for a while). He bites his nails and occasionally chews the collar of his coat. He will sometimes repeat stuff he has just said in a whisper, usually if it’s a word he’s proud of but sometimes just whatever he’s said. He also does a thing where he talks in a baby voice - no idea if this is a red flag or not and seems to be something he’s picked up at nursery but it’s annoying!
I keep reading about how early intervention is so important and wondering if I should do something about getting him assessed but at the same time hoping that he doesn’t have any issues. I’m going round and round in circles with it and coming to the conclusion that my own mental health is the problem here. Fwiw I had DC2 18 months ago and think I had undiagnosed PND that perhaps has just morphed into this. Any advice welcome.