Anyone who didn't take Maternity leave?

[Koala86]

Could you please share your experience if you did not/could not take maternity leave after your baby? Or just had a short period of time off before heading back to work in any capacity?

I have a very unconventional job that allows me the benefit of being able to work as and when I wish, without affecting my income so I'm tossing up options.

I'd really just like to hear from women who have continued working largely throughout to get that perspective.

Just wanting to follow along. I’m expecting our fourth, unplanned, and I’m doing a PhD. I’m considering a very short mat leave and then maybe getting a nanny? I can breastfeed and then get back to studying. I just don’t know how realistic that is… even though I did freelance work through mat leave with my others. It’s obviously expensive as well!

Depends on what you would call a "short" amount of time. I had 3 months after my kids were born, which is less than the full year people on MN seem to usually take, but I wouldn't have wanted it to be longer. It was utterly boring to be home all the time and though I had less time with my kids I found this time to be more quality time. Obviously everyone is different, some people actually enjoy the dreary early months.

I'd say anything less than six weeks is unreasonable as giving birth is physically demanding and you need time to recover. Beyond that it depends on what childcare you have and what you feel comfortable with.

I too had 3 months at home after mine and was bored witless by 9am daily.

I was working until going into hospital and back to work the same evening with my middle two. Self employed and no choice. With my last the decision was taken out of my hands with a two week hospital stay, followed by one week bed rest at home, then back to it. Wouldn't recommend it but there really was no other option either way.

I'm freelance, so I only had a couple of weeks with both - basically until I felt myself and was getting bored! - but I took it easy, and obviously had baby/baby&toddler so wasn't at full capacity for a few months (years) after.

Do bear in mind you might not get a choice. Not all woman are able to work through until the end of pregnancy.

It really depends if/when you have to decide.

My first was a difficult baby, didn't eat, didn't sleep, frequent hospital appointments. I realistically couldn't have gone back until at least 8 months. My second was textbook baby and I could have worked reduced hours straight away (if I didn't have a toddler). I personally didn't want to, but I could have.

If you have the option of picking and choosing (and your set up isn't clear), you might want to take off a longer period later on instead of straight after the birth. I would have wanted a nanny for a tiny baby though.

I went back at around 12 weeks with all three of mine. To be fair, I had 'easy' deliveries and good physical recoveries each time. I EBF which was hard work to maintain but it was really important to me to at least try to do this. It's possible to go back really quickly, but I think you won't really know how you feel about it until the time is here.

(Also I found it much easier to be physically going out to work in an office, I think I would have found it much harder to work from home. That physical separation made it easier for me to switch 'mode'.

Thanks for the answers, some interesting points to consider. I work essentially when I like and can be incredibly flexible with when/how much I work. I would not be attempting full time for a while, mostly ad-hoc with a mix of working from home and in an office at my choosing. Obviously if my pregnancy and baby do not turn out to be textbook then the choice will be taken out of my hands, but its an option I'm exploring.

What childcare will you be using? I went back at 3m with my first, but was WFH and DH took shared parental leave so was with her for the next six months til she started nursery. You might think you can work around a baby, but it's miserable, so I wouldn't plan to go back to work unless you've got childcare.

If you are employed then you have to take at least two weeks off after giving birth by law.

I timed my children pretty poorly (cheers infertility) so have never had a maternity leave. 1st I was studying so just look 9m out. 2nd I was between jobs so I didn't get it but DH lost his job so I went back when the baby was about 12w old. It was very difficult to pump at work and get everything done bit thankfully it all worked out. I do feel a bit annoyed that ive been working since I was 14 and just missed the goalposts for everything but I've got my boys so it is what it is.

My hairdresser only had about a week beforehand and two weeks after. She was much the same (chose which appointments to take up). She took the baby with her. I avoided having an appointment for a few months so I didn’t see first hand but she doesn’t talk about it now afterwards particularly traumatised. And her (now 3 yo) little girl doesn’t appear to have been affected in anyway.

I’d love to know what job you have that lets you pick and choose when and where you work with no impact to your income??

Surely in that situation you just opt not to work, and to be at home, and the cash keeps on rolling in?!

I went back full time after 5 weeks (though during that time I had been working for an hour or two each day). It's definitely possible and I found it absolutely fine though I have a nanny, I think nursery would be hard.

I had five weeks off with my third. Although I did pick up some admin bits in between. It was fine, he was pretty good and DH was around because he was furloughed. I exclusively expressed, used that Elvie pump and would work at same time, even did conference calls 😅

Think it depends on the baby. My first had awful stomach issues and cried a lot and barely slept.

I found it harder when he was moving around 6 months old!! Good luck

Haven't done this myself, but standard mat leave when I was born was 6 weeks long, which obviously sounds very short nowadays but must have worked ok for most mothers/babies.

On the other hand, it was 40+ years ago, and the majority of my school pals mothers were stay-at-home, so that might have had an impact on the length of leave too.

I couldn't afford to take more than 12 weeks off. My baby was two weeks late and so it was down to 10 weeks. I had a large amount of stitches and had trouble sitting for 6 weeks. Going back was dreadful. I was working full time so breast feeding stopped, I was exhausted and resentful. There was very little help for mothers 25 years ago in terms of benefits. My child screamed every day when i dropped her at nursery. None of this to be recommended. If you can stay with your child for a while, do

I work a very flexible job at the moment, and I am not planning to take more than a 2 week full time break this time, then go back part time (assuming uncomplicated delivery). I’ll work part time from home, ie answer emails on my schedule while the baby sleeps until I stop pumping at 12 weeks. It’s a quiet time of year for my work when I’m due so I think it should be doable. I had 3 months off full time with my DD (Brit in the usa), but by the end I was itching to be back just to speak to people as normal. I remember counting the minutes till my husband was home from work etc. I’m not really sure how so many UK mums manage 9 months of stay at home (not meant judgementally at all), but personally I really struggle with that. I think I prefer the toddler stage to infants too though. Things that help: a good hands free breast pump which doesn’t have to be plugged in (elvie), I had a spectra hospital grade one last time and while amazing, it was heavy, and I was either feeding or lying down pumping as I had to be plugged in last time 50-75% of my day. This time I’m going hands free for ease and so I can do it while working. Also get a baby bjorn type bouncer as you can rock a newborn on it with your foot, keep them nearby, and I’ve yet to see a baby not like them. It’s a great tool for the wake windows if you’re doing something. I’ll be following this for other tips, so thanks!

@Glitterspy im an accountant for a very small investment firm. We outsource most of the day to day, so what I do is mainly reviewing/overseeing other people, or answering investor questions. Very fortunate that this allows so much flexibility. But also I have a very family friendly business owner who I work for, and I’m exceptionally lucky. The last mat leave I had was for a huge corporation and was entirely different.

This is exactly what I was thinking!

If I didn't have to work and it had to impact on my income then no, I would actually take some time off with my newborn. We scrimped and saved for a full two years so that we could survive on maternity leave for a year.

Really intrigued to know what it is you do, I feel like I need a job like this!

I didn't because I was in the USA and had an unusual position, but wasn't eligible for any leave beyond sick leave (defined as 2 weeks for vaginal birth then). For me it was fine, kids could be with me

It would be quite outing, but I will say there is a big difference between being able to sit at home doing nothing with cash rolling in (I wish) and having a very flexible job that allows me to pick and chose when I do "most" of my work". I have to work, I just don't have to show up at 9am and be present until 5pm every day.

I had two weeks off with my second child and was lucky enough to be able to work from home at the time until she was 12 weeks at which point she went to a child minders

I commend the working whilst exclusive pumping and breastfeeding mums on here who did what was best for you and baby. So often I see breastfeeding is the sacrifice especially in the UK with one of the lowest rates worldwide.