My 5yr old cries before school everyday..

[villafandan]

Hello :) long time watcher. Infrequent poster. Lost my old account

My son is coming to the end of his first year at school (reception) in the beginning it was an adjustment, he used to get upset before going into school and then breakfast club, we expected this and it slowly died down as he made friends. In the last month its now reared it head again and nothing I say or do seems to help him. He is fine until we get to the school gates and he literally has a full on meltdown, and the teachers have to take him from me. Once he's in school he has an absolutely great time. But before it is really starting to stress me out. We've been told it's perfectly normal that they're getting tired/worn out etc..

Has anyone else (I'm sure you have) been through this. Leaving him everyday crying is not how I want us to both start out day. Thanks in advance

Hello ! My son started school a few months ago and doesn't have this issue, but I did notice at the beginning that if he went to bed too late the night before, then he'd be a lot more emotional, cry, refuse to get dressed, etc. I moved his bedtime forward by 30min and now he's fine (unless sick). My son is younger than yours (we live in a different country) but it made a huge difference.

Is it possible your son isn't getting enough sleep ?

My limited experience is that at this stage in the year nearly all primary aged DC are exhausted (and the younger they are the more pronounced this is) and this shows in different DC in different ways. DS1 loses the plot at home and has to have naps on a Sunday (he’s Y4). DS1 starts tantruming in the evening (he’s Y1).

He has 11 hours sleep straight through wvery night. He's so good. He gets home He talks about his day and everything is great. It is literally at the gate. Everyday. And it's so upsetting. I dont show him this obviously because he would feel guilty.

The teacher did say burnout is common in the kiddies. They've had enough now, and need a break. My worry is he'll forget what school is over the summer😂

They can be exhausted even though they get enough sleep, if you see what I mean. DS2 (of the tantrums) is getting 11 hours a night and DS1 gets not much less (and would get more if he didn’t think 6:00 was a late start!). They’re just all done in and need a long reset.

Thankyou. I kind of know this goes on. But when I'm at school it only seems to happen to me. The teachers assure me thats not the case😂

Hello, not quite there but have a younger DS at nursery. He has/had this problem in the nursery. What helped us (little bit) was we got there early, and when he started to cry I sat down with him on the floor, hugged him and just sat there and waited for him to get better. Then we talked, then I asked if he wants to go play and slowly slowly he got better. Basically not hand over a screaming child, but acknowledge him there at the time and adjust to the situation. It may be bollocks, one person's experience, but it made me as mum feel a bit better knowing when he gets upset I do not go away but stay and try and help.

Hi. Thanks :) we've tried this as well but he just won't let me go. I've asked him why he gets upset when in at home with him and he just blanks me the rascal. The issue I have is I'm on my way to work when I drop him off as well. So im not in a rush per se but I have to be organised. Thing is I think he's got himself into a routine of getting upset now. Which is such a shame as he absolutely loves school

At my daughter's school all the children who get teary at the gates arrive a bit later. Children on time/early are happier.

That probably makes sense because parents probably want to minimise time near the gates with upset kids. Maybe if you arrived a bit later you would notice more kids who get upset like your son.

Thankyou. I'm not really looking for kids getting upset😂 but I get your point. We used to go breakfast club early and his mates hadn't turned up. Now we leave a bit later and they're there, it still doesn't help.

This happened to DP up until part way through year 7. He jokes about it now as it was so bizarre.

Apparently one day he just walked to matron like he always did - usually to ask to call mum to go home. And instead of asking that he thanked her for looking after him and never did it again 🤷‍♀️

Nowt as strange as folk as they say.

Oh bless him😂😂 that's what I'm hoping is that one day he just stops. Have been told they get a bit twitchy about moving into year 1 as well.

Is there another parent in the picture? Does it change when they do it?

My son was the same it didn't help that his start time was 15 mins after his brother and we had to wait at the school gates. He would be fine until he was allowed to go in then he'd cry and try to run away. We ended up arriving a bit later so that he wasn't like that in front of everyone and the ta would calm him down and take him inside and I would leave straight away. He did get better at not crying. I would avoid any discussion about school on the walk to school but talk about what we'd do when I picked him up. So a lot of visits to the sweet shop or park on the way home! I was worried after Christmas that we'd be back to square one after him gradually getting better but weirdly he went to school no problem, it probably helped that his start time was the same as his brothers by then so there was no waiting around. He can still get a bit funny on the walk to school now (a year and a bit later- he's in year one now) but I distract him by talking about what we'll do after school and that always seems to work.
I remember when I was in year one I suddenly didn't want to go to school, I think after being home for the summer holidays and the fact that my younger sister was at home made me want to be at home. The teacher used to let me into the classroom 10 minutes early and find me jobs to do and let me sit on her lap whilst she took the register!

Yes. Mom takes him om a Friday. I do the school run as I work closer. He is exactly the same with her. For context he has only done this with me in the last month. Since January till early June he was wonderful. Its just so stressful knowing he is upset.

I do all this. We talk about everything but school. Then when I get home ill speak to him about his day. And he's always sweating and dirty when he comes out of school always had a great time, teachers say he's doing so well. And then we're back to the same place the next morning 😭

My daughter is 4 years old, and she has started Kinder 2 in a new school. Last year, she was in a different school, cried for the first three days, and then she was absolutely fine. She loved her teacher, friends...This year, new school, new teacher, new faces...It has been two weeks now, she has missed a few days of school due to sickness, but now we are back and it has been a great struggle. She starts crying the moment we leave the flat but once we get in front of school gate, the real meltdown starts, she creams from the bottom of her throat, the teacher picks her up and carries her inside, she is throwing her arms towards me...Once she is in she comes down, the teacher sends me a picture, notifies me that she is fine, then I go to pick her up, she is all smiling and happy. We have tried everything, going earlier to school, both parents would take her, talk to her, explain, take a bike with us, and so on. Nothing works out. Anyone with similar experiences, please?