Summer holidays - kids upset

[summersbysea]

I'm taking the kids for most of the summer as the ex is away on his hols and other stuff he's got on.
Just managing the food costs is impossible let alone anything else nowadays. Bills coming out my ears and uniforms they need as the school has changed its bleedin design again !
Kids being kids are saying they want to go to the beach, Alton towers that's impossible! We have a gym that does activities in the hols but they want more ?
Any advice like where to go on hols ?

Family and Friends Rail card - around £30. But then you can get very cheap train tickets - check out advance tickets on Trainline. Are you a National Trust member? That can open up many free days out. YHA Youth Hostels have very cheap accommodation for families - they have self contained bedrooms for families.

It's good to teach the children delayed gratification: you don't always buy everything just because you fancy it. They get it and it's a good life lesson.

Re Alton Towers, there are lots of cheap tickets on eBay. But you should bring food and rules not to buy random stuff if you need to make it a cheap day out. We recently did Legoland on £20 plus petrol and car park for a family of four. It could have been £4 (with Sun Savers) but I wasn't organised enough.

Have you got any Clubcard points ?
Also some free entry on Kelloggs packets.
I'd ask ex for some contribution if he isn't having them and swanning off on holiday.
Can't he take them out any of the days ?

Coventry motor museum isn't free anymore 😔

When did parenting become so much about paid for activities? Over the last 20years parents & kids seem to have lost the ability to play and have fun.

It used to drive me insane when my kids were younger and we split childcare between us through the summer holidays. When her kids came here they played out in the garden. They played with balls and they played board games. When she had them, it was automatically a play centre, bowling etc etc. My childcare cost little more than the food. Hers cost enough to make our eyes water.

There are going to be LOTS of parents and children who either need to learn how to amuse themselves this summer or there are going to be lots of parents who get themselves into debt being fake. It must feel absolutely horrible watching a child enjoy themselves at Alton Towers knowing you have paid for it on the credit card and are basically putting on a brave face. That isnt family fun for anyone.

I bought a rounders set the other day for £6 from B & M (Wooden bat, cones and a ball). That would give a family hours and hours of fun over and over again. A picnic and a local park and you are sorted. Water is free. Some sausage rolls and sandwiches. A football, a cricket bat etc etc. If you end up doing that sort of stuff regular, you can guarantee those kids with well off parents who are all out at work leaving their children to play xbox will be looking at your kids and wondering why they are so lucky.

You need to be able to say no to buying stuff out and about if that is making cheap days out (beach, local free holiday activities) unaffordable. I have no hesitation whatsoever saying "I am not paying £3.50 for an ice cream. You can have ice cream at home." That is what I grew up with and I was smart enough to do the maths. My mum could make a great picnic.

As for Alton Towers, it's a day of queuing and the food on sale there is rubbish, so you are doing yourself a favour missing that. Drayton Manor can be very inexpensive and queues are less, but bring your own food because theirs is awful.

Lol 😂 this must have been a real long time ago. With kids now wanting the latest gadgets, phones and things their mates have

I have an 8yo and a 10yo and they know that they cannot have everything they want.

75% of days out include a packed lunch. Of those we eat out it's something like a Meal Deal/Greggs or chips at the seaside.

We don't get hassled for stuff because they know the answer is usually no. They appreciate it when we do grab an ice cream on the way home or we stop for pizza. We literally never go to the gift shop if there is one at attractions - they do visit the gift shop with grandparents on the rare occasion they are taken to attractions by them. Again, they don't ask us because they know its a no.

Everyone telling the Op that Alton Towers is a day of queuing, I’m sure she knows that already. But it’s her kids who want to go because they’ve heard everyone else talking about it. The kids don’t care that it’s a day of queuing.

Op we have a national trust membership and use it often with our 2. We take a picnic and make a day of it. You can pay monthly, it’s about £11 a month. We always take picnics to the beach as well, I appreciate it’s a long drive for you so that’s maybe out but are there any parks with splash pads near you? We have 3 or 4 near us and they usually have a park as well. Easy to make a cheap day out at a splash pad.

Can you not ask your ex if he could go halves on Alton towers tickets?
we have merlin passes. Costs us £45 a month for 5 of us but gives us loads to do during the holidays.
how about a sun holiday. Google sun holidays and they’ll have the tokens somewhere online.
don’t pressure yourself too much. I grew up in the 90’s and we had to entertain ourselves, it was never our parents job.

I can see what you’re saying but the difficulty is that kids - particularly older kids - don’t live in a social vacum. Things have changed now and it’s the norm amongst lots of families to have these big days out. I’m as guilty of it as anyone else. I think kids don’t have the attention span to play with this sort of stuff like they used to. I know my son aged 10 would be bored to tears with a bat and ball within an hour.

I’d prioritise a beach day, and say Alton Towers needs to wait. How old are they? We didn’t do AT until all DC were tall enough to ride most of the coasters.

Book train tickets in advance & get a friends and family railcard. Or look for local coach firms that do day trips. Take a pack up and a strict £X per child spending budget. Share chips. You don’t have to do rides or arcades or anything but sea, sand, ice cream. Tell them in advance - this is the plan. Don’t give in to pestering, remind them of the budget.

Lol 😂 this must have been a real long time ago. With kids now wanting the latest gadgets, phones and things their mates have

You're acting like your children are in charge. Just say no, or say take your own food or whatever. Better than teaching them to compete with social media and that they can have anything they want

Its only the norm for some. There are plenty of families who have happy children who can manage without having big days out. Lots of these kids are very well socially adjusted and able to communicate rather than grunts and talking 'online'.

Which child is living in the social vacuum? The one who is having fun or the one who is along on his xbox?

A child that is bored with a bat and ball after an hour isnt anything out of the ordinary. A parent who cant think of something else to do after the child is bored is unfortunately the one with the problem.

How about Holme Pierrepont country park op?

www.nwscnotts.com/hpcp/country-park/
Looks like it is £5 per car per day

And your ex needs to contribute more!

We also had a one year transition from old uniform to new.

My DC are older now but we used to get through the summer by doing one big trip out a week and one little local one. But the big trips didn't always cost a lot as we took a picnic with us and planned carefully.

Op could you team up with another family sometimes (maybe another parent on their own) to share transport costs and make it more fun for you?

Honestly, your kids are under 10. Surely you can say no to having a phone.

It's worth checking with your bus and rail companies about kids fares. We get 'kids for a quid' bus rides here (Kent) so you pay adult fare and up to 4 kids travel for £1 each. Our local bus company extends that to a day rover ticket so any buses that day can be used for the total of £1 per child (so three buses for £1 for example).

Some of the train companies are doing a child fare for £2 during the holidays.

Lol 😂 this must have been a real long time ago. With kids now wanting the latest gadgets, phones and things their mates have

Kids can want things, doesn't mean they're going to get it. That goes for phones or anything else. I'm sure kids a "real long time ago" wanted things too - maybe not gadgets, but plenty of other things were "must haves" that not everyone got.
Best to learn how to say "no" when they're small so they're used to it by the time they're asking for big expensive gadgets at age 10.

Check fb, in my village someone is running a daytrip to Blackpool for £11 a head. I'm West Midlands as well so may not be that far from you, whereabouts are you?

While it might be a little late for this summer, I'd reccomend you getting dc to apply for blue peter badges. Mine got them during lockdown, very minimal effort. One sent in a photo of some seeds we had grown and the other a picture of one of the blue peter pets. But most places allow two children free with one paying adult.

Massively expensive on the train or petrol and parking.

Hi OP - not sure where about in midlands you are but Rutland water have a beach on the lake and space for paddling - it's lovely

Would a 5 and 7 yr old know what a budget is. They see everything and say gimme gimme gimme

London seems expensive train, tubes and they'll get tired and if they fall asleep I'll have a problem and carrying things myself
Beach one sounds better

Yes.

Let them see the paper money. That is their £5 to spend. When it's gone it's gone.

My eldest is 5 and understands it. My 3 year old is getting there.

It helps them to see the real money rather than just taps on a card.