Newborn doesn't sleep!

[LoosingMyMarbles22]

My daughter is 4 weeks old tomorrow and has always been an unhappy colicky baby and I'm at my wits end. I genuinely think it's stopping me bonding with her. She only naps deeply in her car seat in the car.

She sleeps fine at night but in the day she doesn't nap at all, she cries all day, won't be settled and if she does nod off she's awake again 20 minutes later crying.

Yesterday I spent five hours going round in circles by rocking her, keeping her upright, winding her, feeding her and generally trying to settle her. I can't do the same again today it's soul destroying.

I've tried a calm & dim room, I've tried mini bedtime routines, I've tried cuddling her, she's fed, winded and changed and I am considering just letting her cry herself to sleep. I am at my wits end. She's now overtired again and it's just hell.

We went through this and the saving grace was a sling. Both of our kids spent 90% of the first six months of their lives in the sling.

Ah OP it's so tough! I remember. Hang in there and remember it's very early days. You will find what works but it's trial and error to get to know your baby.

Have you got a sling? Some babies love being wrapped up close and snug on your chest. If she sleeps in the car she might like movement.

My first was a terrible sleeper, cried all the time... but she did sleep in a bouncer. Try the ones that you can bounce with your foot.

Electric swings also .

Good luck. You will get there!

I sympathise. Both of mine were great nighttime sleepers but wouldn't touch the cot in daytime until six months.

I think it helps to try and reframe your thinking and accept that sleep is not a physical break from her, but it can potentially still be a mental break IYSWIM.
-Will she sleep in your arms at the end of a feed so you can watch tv/read?

• Will she stay asleep in the car seat after the car has stopped moving? Can you take coffee in a travel mug and a book?
• Will she sleep in a sling while you go for a walk and listen to music/audiobook?

I just want someone to take her away, to keep her safe and love her but I don't want to do it anymore. I can't do it anymore. She deserves better.

She hates the sling, she hates her bouncer unless she's placed in it when asleep and then she wakes up after 20 minutes.

I can't do it a second longer :(

She's sleeps in my arms but wakes up after 20 minutes and the whole cycle starts again, same with the car once it stops moving she wakes :(

I don't know what to say. Be grateful she sleeps at night. My first son was easy. My second son was colicky too. He wouldn't sleep all day. It was maddening. And at night he'd wake 5 times every...time.. it was horrible. As others have said, use a sling. I used a baby bjorn carrier and just carried him at my chest and listened to music to help. When we went on walks with the pram, he would cry for 20 minutes, fall asleep, then when we got home (and yes I tried varying lengths) he would wake within 5 minutes. It was hell.
It will get better - for my son it took until he was about 4-5 months old. I was a zombie by the end of it and I've tried every trick in the book, every bit of help or advice I could get my hands on.

So long as you rule out everything else and she has everything she needs, put noise cancelling headphones on and try listen to music as you carry her in her sling. Also get someoen to give you a break.

But it will get better. Stay strong. little one sleeps perfectly well now for us (he's 7 now and the lack of sleep has not harmed his development at all)

Sorry, but they only sleep for 20-40 mins max at a time at that age in my experience. Maybe 4-5 times a day. Mine never ever had long naps ( or slept overnight). It’s sole destroying.
I find walking helps. Baby in sling or pram and walk. Keeps you awake as outside, and baby cry’s less loud outdoors

Have you got anyone who can come
and give you a break? Sometimes just a short break helps to see things differently

Have you tried Infacol? I swore by it with all 3 of mine. It turns little trapped colic air bubbles into big bubbles (burps).

Completely sympathise. Try not to beat yourself up. You want the best for your baby so you ARE a good mum.

My first was so alert but bored until she could actually DO stuff eg, lie and focus on a play gym, sit up in a baby walker / door bouncer etc.

It will get easier. Please ask for help and if you really are losing it put baby safely in cot and leave the room.

If you're struggling to cope she will come to no harm if you put her down and close the door. Go and have a cup of tea at the other end of the house and then check on her.

Have you looked into reflux or possible allergies?

"Wonky winding" also worth a google.

What comforter does baby have, a dummy?

Are you breastfeeding or using formula? As PP said, could be alergies or intolerances, either to formula, or something you are eating if breastfeeding.

Is there anyone who can take the baby for a few hours to give you a proper break?

Is there someone who can have her for a few hours so you get a break? I used to go out to an evening craft group once a week, leaving DD with DH which did wonders for my sanity! He also used to take over for 3 hours every evening so I wasn't 'on call' and I didn't have to have her on me which stopped me going totally insane. She was combi-fed which made this easier.

I found all the sling etc advice really unhelpful as it just made me feel so claustrophobic and trapped.

Also worth looking into Home Start - they provide support for families with babies and young children.

Good luck! The early weeks are horrific - I don't think anything prepares you for how bad it is.

I so remember feeling just like you in those early weeks. I promise it gets easier, they don't stay the same for more then a week or 2 at this age. My sons now 9 and its a hazy memory we laugh about how he never liked sleep as a baby. Remember this isn't life for ever, it will definitely pass. If you can get anyone to drive baby around for an hour and you can have a nap or at least a cup of tea do that. I also found by a couple of months old going to groups was a life saver, just having some adult company meant i wasn't so focused on my baby. Sending love as its so so hard x