Your top toddler parenting tips

[Pricklypear2022]

Hello! A problem shared is a problem halved so anyone got a toddler parenting tips they'd like to share?!

My DD is nearly 2, and we've another baby on the way. Wilfulness is ramping up no end, she's not very keen on independent playing but is into EVERYTHING and I feel like I spend my day saying 'no' far too much, a word which travels through the air to her little ears as 'please do more of that, bigger and louder too if possible'.

Lower your expectations, rather than trying to fix all the issues focus on the important ones and drop everything else. Your toddler will be happier and so will you. Usually this has a knock on effect of your child being more tolerant and less likely to misbehave. Manage your environment if there's things you don't want her to get put them out of reach, if you don't want her dumping every toy on the floor put some away and rotate them. Don't ask her to do things that are beyond her capabilities, for example if she can't sit still for more than a few minutes don't expect her to do it for you for prolonged periods, if you need her to be quiet etc find what works eg a device or a specific toy or food. Provide a good routine snd consistency with lots of physical activity and chance to burn off energy. Make sure you guys get some time each day where the focus is on her. The mistake most people make with toddlers who will push boundaries and challenge is they want a behaviour to change instantly and it doesn't work like that. Create a calm (ish) environment with lots of stimulation and work on any concerns on a long term basis do not expect instant results. Pick one discipline format and stick to it. For me we did time out. So say toddler is throwing toys, give a warning. If it continues lead toddler away to a quiet area and sit with them for two minutes. Don't engage, argue or try to justify your action. Although I would hold my ds if he got upset.

A great book is The book you wish your parents had read. By Phillipa Perry.

I can relate with my son. I try and get outdoors as much as possible. Fresh air to tire him out and then can have some tv/down time when back. Big little feelings is a good Instagram account particularly for dealing with tantrums. Staying calm as the adult acknowledging and ok-ing the feeling ' I can see you are cross. It is ok to feel cross but I can't let you throw the blocks. Why don't we... instead'.

I have heard good things about the book 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk' for communication strategies.

I am trying to avoid no if it is a minor thing and try to distract instead. Saving a loud No for things that really matter and are dangerous.

It is hard though! Some days go better than others 😂

Hey outside! I've got a 2 year old and a 1 year old and pregnant again, I find the trips to the park or just to a near by grass field, to be much easier than entertaining them indoors! She can have a little more freedom to explore and it's a change of scenery for all of us.

Chose the hill you're willing to die on. Not all the battles are worth it.

Treat TV as an activity in itself rather than just leaving it on. It's a great bribe

Get outside, at least once a day. It's easier outside and keeps your house tidier.

Make friends with people who think toddlers are tiny dictators.

Every thing is a phase and tomorrow is a new day.

Say yes whenever you can, but make sure you follow through when you have to say no.

The book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk - and the app for reminders on the go. The authors also wrote one called Siblings Without Rivalry which is lovely and helpful for transitioning to two. There is a more up to date Little Kids version, which (charmingly!) is written by the daughter of one of the original authors and her friend. The Little Kids one is probably the most relevant to you now. Janet Lansbury's podcasts are also brilliant (and free).

Seeing things from their perspective and working with them rather than seeing everything as a battle where you're against each other. Also revelling in their world - it's absolutely beautiful and incredible to really see the world through the eyes of a toddler, treasure it. (which does not mean you have to enjoy every moment!)

Control the environment instead of trying to control them. Understand most things are a phase and they will grow out of it.

Don't stress about how much they eat or sleep. Division of responsibility - you provide a variety of food and model eating, they decide how much and whether they eat. You provide a soothing environment and predictable routine, they sleep (or not).

To reduce saying no all the time, try a redirection policy instead. For example, if throwing toys, replace toy for a soft ball and encourage them to throw it into a box. If dropping food, give them an extra bowl or plate, and show them to put what they don't want there. If playing too roughly/excitingly with baby, show them what they can do such as showing a toy. It helps to give instructions as what you want, rather than what you want them to stop. We expect them to know what the reasonable course of action is, but that is a lot for them to work out and they will not usually just stop a behaviour and stand still like a robot. So tell them what you expect them to do instead.

This is all brilliant - thank you!

I've got a nearly 2 year old and a 9month old.

Get outside is my advice. We do breakfast, get up and out, lots of running around and playing, get back just before lunch, lunch, nap then that's most of the day done.

Peel off the white space on sheets of stickers so toddler can do the stickers themself

Mostly what BertieBotts said. But in summary, saying what you want eg ‘hold tight’ rather than ‘don’t fall’, works well for any age child.

And don’t start a fight you can’t win. You can’t (and shouldn’t!) physically make them eat, drink, sleep or use the toilet / potty. So set it up with incentives, but if they won’t, then leave it. You’re not going to win, and everyone will get upset.

The parenting sound bites I live by (mostly from Philippa Perry) are:

'Accept all feelings but not all behaviour'

'You're in a relationship, not a battle'

'Say yes as often as you can but when you say no, mean it'

'Children need love plus boundaries'