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Original poster

Is this abuse? Some advice please

27 replies

anonymoooose · 02/07/2022 21:50

(I will try to make this as short as possible)
I met a woman at M&B group last year. Me, her and a few others have become quite close (made a WhatsApp group, spend time together with our older kids playing etc)

She has 4 children, one, an 8 year old girl who is her cousin that she has guardianship over.

I and another woman in our group have noticed she is really mean to this little girl and never has anything nice to say about OR to her. Never comforts her or smiles at her. Snaps and shouts instead of talking (I have three kids and understand how challenging they can be sometimes but this is ALL THE TIME)

Today we were at her house and the little girl had a massive bruise around her eye. I asked what happened and the LG said that she hit her eye on her knee.

The woman said that she was angry with her and wanted her to pick something up and as the LG said she couldn't see it, she pushed her forward to look closer and she "smacked her eye on her knee". She was very blasé and laughed about it. Also while we were there LG walked into the wall and hurt her head. She was crying quite loudly. Our friend didn't bother to comfort her or anything just told her to go and get peas and stop moaning.

She says the LG gets on her nerves because whenever she asks her something LG starts to shake and cry and won't answer "even the simplest question".

She has told us that an ex partner she had abused two of her daughters a few years ago. We have said that could be why she cries like that but she shrugs and says no.

Other times we have been out and LG has been hot and tired from playing but the woman refuses to give her water (I gave her some of mine)

My other friend from the group who saw this today is really concerned and wants to confront her about how she treats LG as we have noticed she is rarely nice to her even when we are around.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this conversation? Or do we just mind our own business

Many thanks

OP posts:
CatherinedeBourgh · 02/07/2022 21:52

Seriously, do you need to ask?

I would be calling social services, and I'm not partial to doing that.

Poor little girl.

wishuponastar1988 · 02/07/2022 21:52

You need to report this to childrens services immediately.

bloodywhitecat · 02/07/2022 21:53

You report what you know to social services asap.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 02/07/2022 21:55

Don't be so wet and call social services, and her out!!!

FriedTomatoe · 02/07/2022 21:56

A conversation with her may just make her defensive and potentially put her daughter at more risk. I wouldn't confront her directly - just report it.

DabS1234 · 02/07/2022 21:58

You need to flag this up ...you can do so direct or via nspcc. Don't miss an opportunity to speak up for this little one.

Amichelle84 · 02/07/2022 21:59

Is this a wind up?

So fed up of seeing posts like this on MN.

DabS1234 · 02/07/2022 22:00

By direct I meant to social services in your area 👌

User000111 · 02/07/2022 22:00

If you see something, say something. Imagine what this poor little girl could be going through behind closed doors, i couldn't live with that on my conscience x

MadameMinimes · 02/07/2022 22:02

This must be reported to children’s services. It is incredibly concerning. You are watching a very vulnerable child being abused. You have to report.

Wombat100 · 02/07/2022 22:06

Poor little thing. I think you should definitely report it to social services and let them investigate, and perhaps also tip off the little girl’s school.

GAW19 · 02/07/2022 22:09

Please contact social services. You may be the only voice this little girl has ❤️

Nomad916 · 02/07/2022 22:10

Confronting the woman is not the correct way to handle this. What will it achieve? Social services and school asap.

Original poster
anonymoooose · 02/07/2022 22:13

@Wombat100 @Wombat100 I was thinking this. When she goes to school on Monday if they will make a referral but they may not. So I will call on Monday

OP posts:
needanotherholidayy · 02/07/2022 22:38

You need to report this to social services. Confronting her personally might make things worse for this child.

This is so clearly abusive, I was really upset when I read your post.

wishuponastar1988 · 02/07/2022 22:50

anonymoooose · 02/07/2022 22:13

@Wombat100 @Wombat100 I was thinking this. When she goes to school on Monday if they will make a referral but they may not. So I will call on Monday

Why are you waiting until Monday? The child has a black eye? Ring them tonight. Let them contact school who will do what they need to do.

Original poster
anonymoooose · 02/07/2022 23:08

You are all right.
I’m on the phone to the duty social worker right now.
Thank you all (even the rude answers 😊)

OP posts:
HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 02/07/2022 23:15

Poor little girl, you are doing the right thing OP. I work with children in care, these calls are so important

ladydimitrescu · 02/07/2022 23:19

Well done for calling. Poor little girl x

Justcallmebebes · 02/07/2022 23:21

Poor kid. I hate these threads. Please follow through with reporting. I'd also talk to her school

MrsEricBana · 02/07/2022 23:22

Well done for taking action, poor poor girl.

bloodywhitecat · 02/07/2022 23:22

Thank goodness, well done for taking action tonight.

MadameMinimes · 03/07/2022 06:36

Well done for reporting. A lot of people don’t.

Inthesameboatatmo · 03/07/2022 06:45

I hope ss do something and don't just let it go .

autocollantes · 03/07/2022 10:56

So so glad you're reporting!! Apart from anything else, this
She says the LG gets on her nerves because whenever she asks her something LG starts to shake and cry and won't answer "even the simplest question".
is a classic trauma response.