Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Taking toddler for a meal

21 replies

GailForce4356 · 02/07/2022 06:58

Does anyone have any tips on how to get a toddler to sit for a meal when out?

I have a 20 month old and the only way I can get him to sit for a meal so that I can eat and so can he is to put on YouTube for him.

It's such a bad habit and I feel terrible as he is tuned to it. I don't want it to become a thing.

We have tried taking colour stuff (he's a bit too young and just eats the crayons or pencils), a toy car to play with, a fidget popper thing, a teddy and we chat away to him.

Nothing works. He will sit for 5 mins and then try to furiously get out of the highchair and throw an absolute fit. We have tried sitting him in a normal chair too but he just jumps and runs.

I know it's not realistic to expect him to sit like a perfect angel the whole time but I can't even get a coffee with a friend.

Am I being unrealistic? I see other kids his age and younger sitting happily laughing and playing.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lockdownmummy · 02/07/2022 07:06

Snacks! Lots of them and ones that take a long time to eat.

We also have a couple of reusable sticker and magnet books that just come with us for eating out - paw patrol and Peppa pig so stuff he loves.

PicniKTime · 02/07/2022 07:07

Go somewhere with a kiddi corner/toy area or books?

girlmom21 · 02/07/2022 07:09

Take him somewhere with a play area.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Families General parenting

anxiousatnight · 02/07/2022 07:17

Kids are different. I could never do this with DS1 as he just wouldn't sit there. DS2 on the other hand loves a cafe trip and we went for lunch in a family pub just yesterday. He's 3 though so older than you DC, but he's always liked going out for food and drinks.

I'd either choose child friendly places with a play area or just not bother. It was too stressful trying to take DS1 anywhere like that which defeated the point of it!

Pipthesqueak · 02/07/2022 07:23

we order her French fries right away and she takes her good old time slowly dipping each one in ketchup then eating it. We also don’t put her in the high chair until we have to—she sits on our laps at first.

NorthernWanker · 02/07/2022 07:30

We do the same and I've made me peace with it. I take stickers, colouring stuff, small toys and books. I make sure we do lots of playing whilst we're waiting for food and when it arrives I usually give him his tablet as otherwise I wouldn't get to eat properly. He doesn't have it at any other time or in the house ever so I think it's worth it. He's a bit older so I try to get him to play games on it instead of just watching something. There's a good one which is basically a puzzle he likes to do and a Thomas the tank engine one. If you look round a restaurant every adult is playing with their phone so I don't see how we expect kids to be different.

RobynNora · 02/07/2022 07:39

My sympathies. You have to plan a meal to within an inch of its life! Stickers, snacks (which seem to defeat the purpose of the meal, I appreciate!) and seconding PP who mentioned ordering chips early

Maybe you’re being a little unrealistic, yes, but it’s also understandable you’d want to eat somewhere other than fast food places for the next couple of years! Toddlers are curious little things designed to explore and not sit around like a sack of potatoes while adults wait for service, deliberate over courses, sit waiting around ages for first course etc so unrealistic in that sense

Yodaisawally · 02/07/2022 07:46

Toddlers and eating out don't really go well together and personally I never went down the iPad route because then they always expect it.

We used to order a plate of green beans when we sat down for Dts - don't laugh- they loved pulling them apart, trying to get the beans out and then throwing them on the floor and then it's colouring / stickers / distraction and not relaxing at all!

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 02/07/2022 07:46

I don't think watching YouTube while you indulge in a meal is harmful. It's only for the duration of what, an hour or two?

My DS we bring loads of snacks, things like rice cakes so he take his time eating them. We also order food like fries and bring his little toy trains to play with on the table.
It's hard work to be honest we rarely take him out anywhere because of it, as he like your ds just doesn't sit still without a distraction.

WildGeece · 02/07/2022 07:50

When my DC was this age, we had a similar thing and tbh we gave up eating out unless there was a play area or outdoor seating. We did lots of takeaway coffees and walks/playparks instead. He's 3.5 now and will (mostly) sit still in a cafe (with snacks, crayons, etc) so it will get better.

girlmom21 · 02/07/2022 07:53

I don't think watching YouTube while you indulge in a meal is harmful. It's only for the duration of what, an hour or two?

It sounds like it's every meal - not just when they eat out.

CrispieCake · 02/07/2022 07:54

I think the best approach is a hybrid one... try books, snacks and stickers until the food comes (those magnetic colouring boards are good so no mess) so your DC gets used to eating out in restaurants and interacting. Then put Peppa or whatever on when the food arrives so you can enjoy your meal in peace for 5 minutes.

MotherOfDragon20 · 02/07/2022 07:59

My 20 month old is the same, honestly we’ve gave up not worth the hassle and stress, certainly not an enjoyable meal.

although we have started taking her to cafes, or more canteen still places so there’s no waiting, she’s fine while she’s eating it’s just the waiting for food and the bill that’s the issue. This works well and I suppose it helps her get used to eating out.

Stevienickssnickers · 02/07/2022 09:11

We only go places with a quick turnaround on the food and take snack boxes (tomatoes/cucumber/fruit) for while we're waiting. It gets a bit easier once they get into colouring/stickers

StuntNun · 02/07/2022 13:08

The Colour Wonder books are good distractions at that age. I've taken card games too. Keep the electronic devices as a last resort.

Original poster

GailForce4356 · 02/07/2022 19:11

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and I'm glad I'm not alone.

He does love chips to we tend to order him some so that he can eat them as one commenter said. We don't really have a lot of restaurants near or around us with play areas actually. He can also be quite clingy so if he can't see us he gets upset sometimes so I don't think I'd get peace anyway.

I know the iPad or phone is not the end of the world but I just think before iPads and phones children/toddlers must have (i did) gone out for meals and not had screens to watch.

As one perskb commented too he will only eat in the house with tv on so it's becoming a bad habit. I'd like to break the tv thing while we are out at least.

Maybe I do just need to accept this is how it will be until he is a bit older.

My friend had a 3 year old and I always feel bad as she doesn't let him have screen time at meals or in the house really but if we are together my son will only sit as I said with the screen and then her son wants to watch too and I know she isn't thrilled about it!!!

OP posts:

DinosaursEatMan · 02/07/2022 19:25

We had this with our eldest, but what worked with ds2 was to put him facing the room so he could people watch, either in a high chair on on a parent’s knee.

We kept chatting to him and pointing things out. And had interesting finger food, preferably arriving as quickly as possible. I also used to choose my lunch to have a mixture of things that he could share.

girlmom21 · 02/07/2022 19:33

He can also be quite clingy so if he can't see us he gets upset sometimes so I don't think I'd get peace anyway.

Yeah you let him play until the food is ready then expect him to sit and eat. You don't leave them unsupervised while you relax!

CallmeMrsPricklepants · 02/07/2022 19:39

We go to the library and then for a meal and sit and read all the new books at the table. Generally we have to tag team parent for meals still though (ds is 3), at 20 months there were occasions where one of us would just leave to take him outside for a run and the other would finish desert and pay.

Finding someone where the waiting staff understand that children are ticking time bombs is useful. The places where they think you want to leisurely sit around and wait for each course and the bill are quickly crossed off our list.

CallmeMrsPricklepants · 02/07/2022 19:39

Dessert. We don't eat sand...much.

karmakameleon · 02/07/2022 19:39

As one perskb commented too he will only eat in the house with tv on so it's becoming a bad habit. I'd like to break the tv thing while we are out at least.

I would do it the other way round. If he throws a fit because there is no TV on at dinner time at home, it’s ok. No one saw. No public embarrassment. No need to cut a nice experience short.

And also if he associates TV with food at home, it’s harder to stop the link when he’s out.

Flip