How would you handle this?

[Ispy]

A bit of background. DD is a young 5.5 and is very quiet and reserved and a little immature in comparison to her peers. She has a very sweet and innocent nature.

I carpool with 2 other mums so that we can share the load of bringing the kids to school. I am quite friendly with both mums and with one in particular our younger children go to the same montessori so we share that school run as well...

So I have always noticed that dd is very quiet around her 2 peers in the car and they tend to pal together while dd is a little left out. Haven't given it much thought until now. DD has started saying that the 2 girls are talking about her and 'saying things' and her feelings are hurt. She won't elaborate on what those things are.

School is not dd's favourite place and she has a particularly strict teacher and is receiving learning support this year. On top of that I'm expecting a baby in less than 3 weeks so I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

If you were me how would you handle this problem. Bearing in mind that I'm quite friendly with the other 2 mums and will be relying on them quite a bit when baby arrives to do some of my share of the runs until I'm back in action...

I think, if it were me, I would probably not go straight to the other mums yet, but rather, through a slow, softly softly approach, try to find out more from dd. It may not be as big a thing as it actually feels to your daughter and so, if you think she might over a few days tell you more, then at least you know what you're dealing with. They could be saying really horrible things or they could be little things that yo could bring up playfully when it's your turn next to do the carpool. I guess that I would want my daughter to know that I was taking it seriously but not overreacting. Don't know if that helps!

Would it be possible to have one of the 2 other girls around to play so your DD can have the chance to establish a separate friendship from the threesome, IFSWIM? That might break the 2 against 1 thing up a bit.

Both good suggestions, thanks. Will see how next few days go..

My dd is 14, and we still have the occasional situation like this! Girls can be pretty sensitive, can't they?

Why not mention to both of your friends that you feel dd needs a little extra support because of the new baby, and because school isn't her favourite thing. Could they ask their dds to be kind and helpful, and look out for her over the next few weeks.

Hope the next few weeks go well