Is this PPD?

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I have a 7 month old and a 2 year old. Over the last few weeks I’ve felt increasingly low and just totally exhausted. My husband helps where he can but works full time..we don’t have any family nearby to babysit. My eldest is in nursery 3 days a week which helps but obviously I still have my baby…I love them both more than anything but I feel very low by the endless drudgery, spending all day looking after them, meal prep, feeding, cleaning, nappies, making sure I exercise, making sure I socialise / they get to socialise, making sure me and husband eat healthy, household jobs etc.

i appreciate every parent has to do this but I just feel like there’s never any break or any time to myself whatsoever. By the time both kids are asleep it’s 830 at the earliest and then I’ve got a small window before I fall asleep about 9:30 and then baby wakes about every 2 hours to feed. Toddler occasionally wakes too. 6am start most days and it continues.

I’ve found myself slowly stopping making plans with friends because I never have the energy…I’ve stopped going to my mum group I met through NCT as I just feel like a failure and compare myself to others who I feel are coping better. I was getting in my car and bursting into tears after the last few so I’ve just stopped going but becoming more and more isolated.

i used to go to festivals, raves, travel the world and be really outgoing. I just feel really insecure and unhappy now and like I don’t have anything to say to anyone …constantly feel like I’m failing and not doing enough. My toddler tantrums all the time and I know it’s normal but I seem to take it personally. Lately when both of them are screaming I have to take deep breaths because I just want to scream as well and tell them to shut up / leave me alone which I haven’t thank god and I know it isn’t rational but I just feel so overwhelmed by it.

there are some lovely moments in the day too of course where I feel very bonded and in love but a lot of the time I can’t be bothered engaging with them and just want to be left alone…I do put on a smiley face etc but feel like it takes everything out of me because it’s not how I really feel.

maybe it’s just normal rather than depression but I didn’t feel this after baby 1. Feel very hopeless and like I can’t stand myself for feeling like this. I have marital problems on top and think I’ll probably leave my husband when the kids are a bit older and I’ve actually got the mental capacity to deal with a divorce so that’s probably not helping.

It sounds like it would be worth talking to your GP or health visitor. I had PND after my second baby and I felt like I was down a black hole but it did get better.
Is it right that your 7 month old is feeding every two hours overnight? I’m wondering if the sleep deprivation of that is part of how you’re feeling; my DS was waking like that at 6 months and it made me feel like I was losing my mind a bit.

You sound as if you are sleep deprived, which only makes a stressful situation worse. Having a baby and a toddler is exhausting. But honestly, it gets better (not a lot of help now, I know).

Please don't compare yourself with others. You said yourself that you put on a smiley face - you can bet that a lot of others are doing just that in public.

With toddler tantrums, try distraction, or making things into a game or a race. Give a choice of two things ( to eat, to wear, to play with) .

Good luck, it really won't last long.

Oh, it sounds like you're having a horrible time. Sending hugs
I do sympathize as have had similar feelings of overwhelm, sleep deprivation is cruel, and the marital issues just add to it all.
I'd suggest you read back your post one day when feeling a bit lighter and be honest with yourself, is this all the time or was this a bad day - if it is fairly constant please go and see your Gp, there's no shame in it. I think your content about can't be bothered with the children may be a telling one... You deserve to be happy and they can help.
If it was just a bad day or six, write yourself a plan for what you can do to improve things if/ when you feel like this again - eg call / see a friend, get outside, watch a favourite movie snuggling with kids. Stick this somewhere you can see it to remind you.
Then simplify. Buy a robot hoover if you can, get a cleaner, or just do the base minimum. buy some ready meals or even shop sandwiches, takeaway, anything to reduce the load. Look back on Mumsnet threads there are loads on how to make life easier with a baby. Quickest meals etc.

Could definitely be PPD, which could be exacerbated by the sleep situation. 7 months is a great time to sleep train (and your DH can be the one to do it!).

I have PPD, but the fact that my 3 DCs (4, 3, 1) have reliably slept 8:30-6:30 for a few months now has made a huge difference in starting to feel a bit better. We used the Ferber method for sleep for all three - the eldest two at 6/7 months, the younger one at 5 months (though at 5 months we still had him do one night feed for a few weeks, around 2am). DH (the breastless parent!) was in charge of going in to comfort them every few minutes if they were crying, and within 3 nights they were sleeping through. DH also was in charge of “silent return to bed” when the toddlers got up.