How to stop toddler constantly snacking?

[Louisec128]

My almost 2.5 year old constantly asks for "snacks". To the point that, when he's upset, he asks for a "snack" or if he's in a situation he's uncomfortable with or wants to leave, he'll ask to go to the "kitchen". He is a very healthy weight, and his "snacks" are generally healthy, but I want him to get into a schedules eating routine, and also to break the habit of asking for a snack as comfort - especially as I'm also conscious that his now healthy weight could change if he constantly seeks for snacks to make himself feel better. I suppose your replies will be to "just say no", which he'll inevitably kick off afterwards, but is there a kinder way of doing this? I just think if we start saying "no" now after stupidly allowing this to become a pattern he won't understand why. His understanding for a 2.5 year old is very good, without sounding biased I think he's pretty advanced. Is a visual chart too much at this age? This is how we potty trained him last month and it worked a treat. If so, what should this "chart" even look like when he has no concept of time? I welcome any other ideas who may have or do have the same issue with their toddler!

Thank you in advance :)

I think you need to be firmer here. Just say no snacks and do something else. You're currently training him to associate food with comfort and that's not a good idea.

I know you said you don't want to hear "just say no" but I honestly think that's your best bet. A visual chart to me feels like putting far too much emphasis on food when you've already got a bit of a fixation on your hands. Make snack time a sit-down thing with you there eating too, just like a meal, and offer zero food in-between.

Yes, he'll kick off. But if you are ruthless for a week, he'll reset. 2.5 is a great age for that sort of thing, all you have to do (lol) is hold firm while they lose their shit and drive you mental.

Also, look at what he's actually eating at meals. At this age they do need snacks, but make sure he's getting enough high energy food throughout the day.

I've been looking into this for my 1yo. Apparently, scientifically they don't 'need' snacks at all. They should be eating enough at meal times to see them through, with a drink of water/milk inbetween. On the other hand, how practical that is, is another story..!

Sorry, made no attempt to answer your question. I think after a few days of fuss and distraction, a new habit will form. Be sure he knows when his next meal is happening.

I tend to say in a bit and use a distraction; when DD went to nursery she was in a good routine and then during lockdown it started to go out the window so I started following the nursery routine and use distraction and delay

It's not unkind to have boundaries, and he will soon get the idea - he won't understand the "why" behind a lot of things at his age so don't use that as a reason not to change something that isn't working for you.

You could stick to a rough plan of 2x snacks and 3x meals, so you could say things like "It's not snack time now, it's breakfast time. You can have <present reasonable breakfast options>" or "It's snack time at 10:30, but not yet." or "We've already had a snack, but it will be dinner time soon." A chart would be a good way to show this, especially if you typically do predictable activities at other times of the day.

Or you can just pick your battles and call everything a snack, that's what we end up doing with DS2 😆Everything is a snack - breakfast snack, lunch snack, dinner snack, fruit snack. You can still do the you've only just had X and lunch is at Y line.

It depends what your priority is - that he eats something, or that he understands the distinction between a snack and a meal?

If (and only if) they're healthy balanced snacks, I'd just take the requested snack put it in a 'special lunchbox' and give it to him at lunch time with a sandwich. Of he asks again show him it's still in his lunchbox waiting. Some children can't be distracted from food, so I might try teaching patience instead, he can have it but not now.

My DS is 2.5 and always wants snacks... he will open the fridge door when my back is turned in the kitchen etc....
He started to get a noticeable chubby tummy so i had to start saying no.... it was hard at first and he kicked up massive fusses but he soon got used to hearing the word no. I think you have to be prepared for tantrums but they will pass :)

If you know that he's asking for snacks because he's upset or uncomfortable, you need to be teaching him skills by stepping in and redirecting the snacking behaviour.
EG upset "it's not snack time yet, I can see your finger hurts though, let's have a cuddle and put a plaster on"

Uncomfortable "it's not snack time yet, shall we go and find somewhere quiet to sit".

Your child asking for food to solve different emotions could easily become a significant problem in later life.
Just saying "no" without offering a different solution will cause them stress.

This is great advice, pretty much what I was going to suggest.

I mean it's pretty much just non stop tantrums from 2 - 3.5 in my experience so I'd just get used to it! In agreement with PP, you have to say no and roll with the reaction. He'll get the idea after a few days.

My ds used to say he was 'hungry' in response to all emotions - pain, confusion, tiredness, etc. He needed to learn the words to describe what he felt rather than create comfort eating habits.

I used to say, you're not hungry, you're hurt, etc.

You need to give him the words to use and the appropriate active response i.e. distraction, change of toys/scenery, cuddle, calm down time, etc.

Is there someone else who routinely takes care of him who is giving him snacks?

How did he get the idea of a snack in the first place?

Offer a drink of water or a little milk instead of food. Sometimes toddkers and children (and actually adumts too) think we're hungry but it's actually thirst we're feeling.

I would try and ditch the word ‘snack’ altogether. If needs a mid morning snack (and who doesn’t) call it elevenses, and have it 11, sitting at the table. A biscuit or 2 is easily enough. Then all morning you can say that it’s not elevenses time yet or you’ve just had it or it’s nearly lunchtime. IMO snacks are only things you need on long journeys etc.

A terrible thing to let him associate hurt with needing food. He will end up a comfort eater. Just say not yet and distract him with something else. A few strawberries or raisins at 10.30 is all he needs. Make it clear at meal times this is when you eat.

Tell him no? Oh wait, I forgot parents can't say no to their kids anymore!

My 6 year old isn't in an eating routine because I'm not and I realise no one is and that's okay.

I'd use mostly redirection. You don't need to actually say no, your interaction could go like :

Toddler : "snack"
You : "hey how about we [suggest activity]

If he insists :

Toddler : "snack now !"
You : "first let's [activity]

At this age they can usually be easily distracted with other things. I also agree with pp that if he is uncomfortable or sad you should address that directly rather than the asking for a snack (the snack being the symptom not the cause).

So how do you manage things like school and work?

Thank you everyone for your replies (bar one stupidly pointless one). You're all right, he is (nornally) a very quick learner, so I'm hoping you're right that a few days of "no it's not eating time yet" will be enough, but the tantrums that follow will be through the roof for sure! Hopefully it's not too late and a bad relationship with food isn't already embedded?!

Of course it's not too late :) They adapt very quickly at this age. Plenty of time to change habots.

It's not too late. Redirection is a great idea, I found saying 'later' was easier to hear than 'no'..
Naming how he is feeling is also a good tip

A gentle no and then distract usually works (most of the time...)
I was getting ice lolly requests at 8.30am this morning

I have taken @LisaSimpson77 idea and just made these. So I can say no it's not time for food yet, is it one of these that you're feeling. But not solely to be used with food, could even be telling us when he's happy about something, anything in general really I think would help him communicate his emotions and distinguish the confusion between hunger and sadness etc.

Ah that's a lovely idea.