Do your children play together?

[BiscoffSundae]

If you have children of various ages do they actually play together? A lot of people assume if your child has a sibling they play together and keep each other entertained but I’m finding this isn’t the case at all, my children won’t play together and they won’t play with the youngest they say she is too babyish and her games are boring it means she’s constantly demanding me to play with her I’ve played role play games for 2 hours today and it still isn’t enough and she’s still demanding more! It’s constant all day I’m exhausted, how can I encourage them to play together more if they are into different things? Youngest likes baby dolls older ones don’t at all

It depends on the age gap and whether or not they are the same sex IMO.

I have two boys with a toy year age gap. They play together a lot. But eldest is autistic and regularly has times where he wants to be alone.

How old are they?

Children with big age gaps will often to struggle to play together for obvious reasons.

You can try introducing games/toys that they can play with together, board games, Lego, marble run for example. Give them a project to do together.

Also, don't feel you have to play with them all the time. Let them be bored. Let them entertain themselves. They'll find each other.

Yes, mine do.

Two DDs born two years apart. The complication we have is the eldest is autistic.

My brother and I did not play together. My parents just assumed we would though.

I didn't assume mine would.

What strategies have you used?

the youngest is a girl, 5 and only likes baby dolls, the older 2 are boys 8 and 10 so as you can imagine they don’t like dolls and won’t play with her which is why I’m getting constant demands and if I say no she gets upset ----

Sadly not. Aged 11, 10 they never have done despite all our encouragement. They don't really get on or have the same interests. I'm not sure you can force it, it just happens. Someone told me about Big World & Small World play,the former being dressing up, role play, make believe etc, where the latter is Lego maybe, that sort of thing. If kids haven't different play styles it can hard for them to work together. I'd love to know how I could encourage more harmony but haven't managed to yet! Now I just get a friend over for each of them to play.

At 5yo your daughter doean't need constant entertainment from you or siblings. If she likes baby dolls she can easily play that on her own up in her room or wherever, give her a chance for her imagination to develop

Yes, 6.

And 4.5, boy girl. They play loads together, just from their imagination but also playing outside, art, reading together, and a lot of Lego! They also love their own space too. I definitely second letting them get bored/no screens etc.

Sorry first part of message didn’t post. 6.5 year age gap, 11 year old girl and 4 year old boy, it’s been a fab dynamic. Now the one year old getting in on it too!

It might be worth finding a friend for the youngest to have round of you don't already do this. This is what I do!

Yup and always have (except when DD was v small and she kept breaking the railway tracks...)..
They are now 18, nearly 17 and nearly 15 and spent an hour playing cricket together in the garden yest eve. DS1s GF now gets involved too....
DS1 was v bossy and always in charge, DS 2 is very happy to be compliant and DD has spent her life trying to keep up. A lot of their play over the years was role-playing games and outside games, making stuff.. not so much formal games. Mine had no electronics until 11 which led to boredom and therefore collaboration. DS2 and DD are dreading DS1 leaving home....

Mine did and at times continue to do so as adults.
18 month and 8 year gap
Girl boy boy
The games and who played with whom varied over the years so for the first few years they always played together with little animals or sticks or whatever. Then it went on to mummies and daddies or dressing up , then badminton , play station and trampoline etc. When DD was a young teen and had different interests the boys could play together . We only had one screen so whatever was being watched or played had to be suitable for all.They still do, in their twenties ie football or computer games .
I suspect it is their personalities rather than anything magical that o did that made this work.Obvs they still quarrelled.

Two and a half years between mine (currently 9&11) , girl/boy, opposite personalities but they play together all the time like best friends and rarely fight. I’m an only child so have nothing to compare to but I’m told this is quite unusual! My own mother has a similar age gap with her younger sister and they’ve never got on. She also has a sister 13 years younger and they’re really close.

Even my older boys don’t play together they are completely opposite one is very sporty and the other prefers drawing and Lego etc we’ve tried board games and marble run but usually ends in the 5 year old getting upset as the older ones win

Just to agree with others mine will often have boredom forced upon them so it’s in their interests to get on!

Mine do but it changes periodically depending on their interests. I have two who like imaginary play and one who doesn’t, so the one who doesn’t struggles to join in. It helps to find areas of common ground, eg the ones who like imaginary play will do Lego with the one who doesn’t and the one who doesn’t is willing to take part in dance performances :) A lot of it is about age and personality which you can’t control but it’s worth putting some time into teaching them to get on.

Could you try playing with your 5 year old when she asks, just for 5 minutes, just to get her started and then withdraw once she’s got going. Set her up with a scenario and then let her run with it. It’s difficult if she has older brothers who aren’t interested in playing what she is playing. Also getting a friend over to play with her is a good idea.

Yes. 6 years between first and third and they play together. Of course the middle plays with both too. Don't constantly occupy her, she'll end up playing with her brothers even if it isn't her first choice game. I bet they'll end up doing thr same. If not, tell them she plays X with them, they can play Z with her! Sounds like a bit of flexibility, compromises in games etc would do them all good.

Co-operative board games? Although at 5 there are surely games she has a chance of winning? One of mine was a sore loser too, but kept playing and eventually took loosing in grace.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I have DS (11) and DD (9). When they were little they were great and played together a lot.

Between the ages of about 7 & 9 for DS they hardly played together at all, or even acknowledged each other all that much.

Now they're back to hanging out together again, either playing something like Roblox, or football/trampoline in the garden. DS astonished me the other day by telling a friend he wasn't coming out because he was playing with his sister! They're always far better together on a day out/holiday when they're 'forced' together.

So just because they don't play together now, doesn't mean they never will.