Baby starts to cry whenever I start to sing lullaby

[MinimogMum]

Sorry, long.

Ever since my Little One was about 4 months old, she has hated going to sleep, naps in particular.

I don't know why it started, prior to that she would sleep most of the day some days as well as only waking twice a night. Then she started sleeping less during the day and waking more frequently at night, which was no big deal, these things happen. Then the 4 month sleep regression hit and good GOD was it bad!

She started waking every 2 hours during the night and would outright refuse to nap during the day! If it wasn't for my mum (an experienced nursery nurse) who taught me techniques to settle her and some tricks to put her down without waking her she would have never napped again! This worked okay for a time and eventually her night sleeping improvedagainand she only woke every 2-3 times a night again.

The problem is, her naps didn't really improve much after that, and she also learned the techniques/ routines we use to put her down and would fight against them so we would have to find another way to trick her into sleeping. It can take up to 1 hour to put her to sleep and she only sleeps between 30-50 minutes two of three times a day. About 4 weeks ago she started to have naps that lasted 1-2 hours once or twice a week and I had hoped this would happen more often and become the norm since she is now 6 months old.

Except it suddenly changed 2 weeks ago, when she became 10x harder to settle, started waking every 3 hours a night every other night or more! She seems to be getting worse and worse, she enjoys her sleep routines (bath, bottle, books, songs bed at night, bottle books songs bed for naps) and she enjoys it...up until I put the books down and start to sing lullabies and she goes ballistic! Crying, struggling, flailing arms and going stiff, anything to avoid going to sleep!

I have tried all the things about sleepy cues, wake windows, putting down tired but awake (which only works during the night and is totally useless any other time) and nothing is making it better!

I just want this constant fight to stop. Does anyone have any advice?

...if she doesn't like the lullabye, don't sing it!

It sounds like you've got a baby who doesn't need/enjoy all the sleep support you're providing. If I were you I'd make sure she's fed and clean and safe and then just put her down in her cot and leave her to it. Pop back in at intervals to reassure.

She would start crying before she even got to the cot. As soon as she knows she has to sleep she will resist!

It's not the lullabies themselves that she hates, I can sing them at other times and she loves them, but it's like: 'Mummy holding me and/ or singing = me having to sleep...NOOOOO!!!!'

It's FOMO. Make the routine as short as possible (cut out books, lullabyes etc for now) and don't drag it out, just put her down and pop back in every few minutes.

How old and what wake windows are you using? What time is bedtime and wake up?

She is 6 months and 3 weeks old...until recently her wake window was 2.5 hours (normally waking at 8:30 so first nap at 11am) but recently she has been waking at 7:30 and going back to sleep at 8:30 waking at 9:30. She starts showing signs of tiredness around 1pm instead, so it now more like 3.5 hours.

I normally start the bedtime routine at 7pm, but she may take until 8pm to go to sleep sometimes.

Baby starts to cry whenever I start to sing lullaby 5

Gosh, your singing must be horrible 😂

I think this is just what babies are like. It's normal for them to wake up a lot.

Have you tried Ewan the sheep? He's said to work wonders getting babies to sleep.

If she’s taking an hour to go to sleep at night, just shift bedtime back closer to when she’s dozing off? Sounds like maybe she’s not tired enough.

@Snuffy28 I have had Ewan since she was born, it makes very little difference.

@SRK16 It varies how long it takes for her to fall asleep. Normally I start the bedtime routine when she gets really fussy, but I'm not sure if she does that deliberately so she gets her bath (she absolutely loves it). She may fall asleep almost immediately when I bring her into the bedroom, other times she'll be happy chatting and smiling until she falls asleep.

I have shortened the nap and bed routines today...so there is no books and little singing and it seems to have helped another!

I found there are a few songs she is happy with me singing (Down in the Jungle and Tiny Tim) which makes her smile, I only sang those once then gently spoke to her for a few minutes and she fell asleep pretty quickly...plus about 100x easier to put down!

Have you tried the 2, 3, 4 method? It has worked wonders (hoping I don't jinx myself ) for my little boy the last few weeks. Albeit he wasn't as bad as your little girl sounds but his naps and night sleep was haywire. He roared the minute I put him in his cot, lifted him out and voila no tears. He's now sleeping 7-7 with 3-3.5 hours day time sleep at 6.5 months also. He goes into his cot and is asleep within ten mins. I don't do any bath, bottle, bed, no lullaby's, or books. He's allowed to play or do whatever he was doing until it's nap or bed time. We also realised that he HATES sleeping on his back so now put him down on his side and it's made a world of a difference.