2 year old bedtime tantrums

[2020firsttimemum]

Our little boy is 2 in 2 weeks and the last couple of weeks he is flat out refusing to go to sleep!

When he does eventually go to sleep, he sleeps through but we can spend an hour or so going in and out trying to settle him

There's nothing wrong with him as when you go in he laughs he's absolute little head off! Problem is when we're not in there he screams and bangs his head hard on the cot

Any tips on getting him to settle better?

We do the same routine of night time tv with his bottle, brush teeth, read a book, close his curtains and turn off his light and then bedtime.

He does still have 1 nap usually anywhere between 11-2 for about an hour or so and he's definitely not ready to drop it yet

Thanks!

What time are you putting him to bed?

Put him down and then don't go back.

We used a carrot and stick with both ours.

Carrot - they got a sticker every night they stayed in bed quietly and went to bed. If they got enough stickers they got a treat. DS got a train trip and DD got a Frozen backpack, water bottle and lunch box.

Stick - if they woke up, we went in and put them back to bed without looking at them or saying anything. We also did some controlled crying.

With DS the sticker chart worked and we didn't need the stick. We needed a night or two of stick with DD

Could've written this with my 2yo! Also doing the head banging on the cot, then says "Ow! Hurts!" because it gets my attention and he knows I'll rush into the room.

I don't know what to do as I don't want him to hurt himself but I think going in when he's doing it is making it worse! On the other hand, I need to stop it as he's got a small bruise on his head now from doing it.

So I'm following to see any tips!

Drop the nap.

Bedtimes got hard for us and best thing we done was to get rid of the nap.

First few days are hard but it's all about distraction. If you see him starting flag, get him out in the garden, start running round the living room and get him to join in.

He goes to sleep within seconds now!

Almost 3 year old here. This has been my life for the last month and I’m exhausted. Tantrums at bedtime. Then stupidly early wake ups.

last 2 nights she’s been better. Tonight (I’m going to jinx it but whatever) she was in bed and asleep at 745. We exhausted her. Either that or it’s finally catching up on her.

she doesn’t nap when home with us. She’s afraid of missing out on something. So she’s usually knackered which has led to more tantrums due to being overtired.

we do bath books bed. But tonight she’s just gone down ok.

maybe it’s cooler in her room. Maybe she’s just flat out exhausted. Who knows.

@OakTreex bruises aren't fatal! I'd give it zero attention and bet you anything you like he'll stop in a week.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers he goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 as a general rule

@MolliciousIntent not really constructive advice but thanks for your 2 pence.

@Twizbe this is a good idea and I think it would help when he's a little older but I'll be honest, I don't think he quite has the understanding yet :(

@OakTreex it's hard isn't it! I know the bruises won't damage them but our little boy will literally launch himself backwards and hit his head and I'm more worried that he's going to hurt his neck or his back in doing so. Again he knows we'll come running if he keeps doing it so he's not silly but obviously he doesn't know how much damage he could do!

@HSKAT I don't think he's ready to drop the nap yet... he is constant anyway, always full of energy, will keep running around non stop unless we make him. But when he's put down for the nap, he doesn't fight it and he goes straight to sleep so I know he's ready for it. Particularly if he's up early (this morning was 6:10)

The average 2 year olds needs 11 to 14 hours sleep. It maybe that he just needs a later bedtime. 7 is very early for a child who still naps to be going to bed.

Truthfully I didn't think my son was 100% ready but he adapted really well.
He would still have a nap now everyday at nearly 4 if he could!

I personally would move bedtime to 7.45pm, keep going and every 2mins, every 4 mins and every 5mins- I used to say until 10min max but with the head banging maybe only every 5 and just lay him back down, say sssh and walk out. Don’t pick up and cuddle !

@2020firsttimemum sorry I didn't mean to be unhelpful, I just mean by going back in every time you're teaching him that's a good way to get what he wants. If you stop giving in, he'll stop doing it. Same with any tantrum. The first rule of toddlers is Never Ever Surrender, followed swiftly by We Don't Negotiate With Terrorists. This is basically both.

@2020firsttimemum both mine were only just 2 when we did it. Had a newborn screaming the place down when we did it for DS too.

It took a good week of talking and prepping it though before starting.

The stick approach will work now though. You have to ignore what he's doing for attention

I would stop the TV time and later bed time. Maybe 8/8.30.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas yeah maybe, he does tend to give in about 8pm and go to sleep after an hour or half hour of battling with him! I just find it difficult to do mine and my partners dinner and eat it whilst he's up, he's a typical gremlin toddler 😂

@HSKAT to be fair I'd still have a nap every day if I could! I love my sleep 😴

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I'll try this. We used to do it when he was smaller, and we do go back in periodically now but we don't set a timer. He likes to throw his dummy down the back of the cot and then cry for us to get it but I've said to my partner we have to make him wait a little cause he knows we'll come in and get it for him

@MolliciousIntent sorry that I took it the wrong way / personally. Unfortunately with him, he's always been the same that he'll work himself up so much he either makes himself sick, or bangs his head hard. I'm worried about his neck more than a bruise tbh. He's a very challenging 2 year old and he certainly lacks patience and gets frustrated easily so I'm constantly trying to battle his frustration with bedtime too!

@2020firsttimemum it would be pretty much unheard of for a baby to have the strength to seriously damage their own body, tbh. Unless you suspect any ND I'd really be toughing this out. It will only take a few days for him to learn - you don't need to leave him to scream alone for hours if you think he'll be sick, you can pop in at intervals to reassure and head back out.

Before leaving him to cry and smack his head on things I would suggest, cap the nap or a later bedtime. We've always found bedtimes get tougher when DD was getting too much sleep i.e. too much nap. It initially seemed unthinkable but we dropped the nap about 2 years and 2 months and bed time is so much quicker. All I would say is initially she was overtired at bedtime so we had to do it almost earlier than needed but now we are back to a normalish time.

Don’t cook twice. This is the route of madness.