How to help DC have loads of friends?

[Mumnetter111]

I’m generally quite a sociable person and happy to speak to anyone but my social battery is quite low. I want to help make DC school and social life as easy as possible. DC is starting school in September but I’d really appreciate how to help any age DC make friends. Obviously there’s only a certain amount you can do but if anyone has any advice on certain books or lessons I can teach DC before about being kind or places you’ve been where your DC has made friends. Just generally asking advice on help making friends for any age group!

I wouldn’t worry about loads of friends, some people prefer a few close friends. Do your DC already attend nursery or a play group? How are they at making friends at the moment?

You can't force that on your children. Having lots of friends isn't for everyone. Listen to who they talk positively about and ask them for a play date. Teach them to be able to take turns and share. Don't get too involved or force friendships, let your child lead you not the other way around. 🙂

Just let it happen organically. Your DC may not be the sort who wants lots of friends, but only a select and trusted few. Let that happen.

Don't push or be too invested. If they want a playdate at home then that's fine. If there is a suggestion to meet up after school at the park do that. if you are too i9ntensely involved it will be too much for everyone.

@Shockingdisclosure @cameocat Not worried how many friends DC has. From experience having a few close friends for example a trio is a nightmare due to being left out. So I want to make sure DC is friendly to everyone. DC is very sociable at nursery and I have no worries about DC being shy. Im just trying to reinforce being kind to everyone and complimenting other people and going to talk to other kids if you see them on their own.

This really is one thing you cannot control.

Follow their lead regarding playdates, let them do clubs outside if school as well so they meet a different group of children.

Realise that what you find to be the right amount of friends / social contact may well not be the same for your child.

Accept that sometimes you will worry about it - intervene if any serious issues arise but otherwise try and let them get on with it.

I know it's hard, my son is autistic and struggled so much and kids were very mean to him, sometimes they still are but he has found friends who support him and value him exactly as he is.

As title says help not force. For example I’d like to get close to other mums in the playground and invite them over. And help teach DC to be friendly.

Please don't micro manage your child's social life. Figuring out things for themselves is an important part of development.

Having watched my DD and her classmates in reception, they don't really have close friendships they have groups and those groups are very mobile and focused more on the activity of the moment rather than the personalities of those doing the activity. It's only really this year (yr 3) that they've started reducing the group friendship to individuals and that seems to be motivated more by 'girls play with girls' and 'boys play with boys' rather than whether or not they actually enjoy each other's company and have shared interests.