I know I am fortunate but how would you spend this on maternity?

[FeelingAwfulr]

DP works away for weeks at a time. He may be back for a month then away for 2 or 3. It’s not great and hopefully it will change in the next few years

i will have around 800 a month to spend on support or anything really.

how best to use this budget to help the most?

I'd get a doula for pregnancy, birth and immediately pp. Then a night or day nanny depending how I found things from then on.
And if you don't already have a cleaner, find one. Ours was worth her weight in gold during the first few months after we had our children.

That sounds very tough, I'm sorry. Have you family support? Do you have your baby already or are you still pregnant? I think you won't really know what support you'll need until the baby is here. I agree that a cleaner is always great though.

Cleaner!

Are you're mortgage and bills covered, is this disposable technically?

I'd do:
-Cleaner
-Night nanny once a week ish

• A tonne of good quality ready meal

My DH was away a fair bit when DD was tiny (though less that yours), and it was OK.

If you're BFing there's a limit to what he can do with the baby, and in some ways it was nice to not have anyone else mess up our routine/ worry about disturbing in the night / feel I should make an effort with when I just needed to stare into space.

Not a paid for thing, but you WILL need adult company. Friends and family, baby groups, whatever.

Good point.

I think you need to know what you want to do with your own baby... if you want to ebf then a night nanny isn't an option, but if you're happy to bottle/ mix feed then a night nappy a couple of times a week would be my top pick! If you want to ebf, a mothers help 4h a day while you get some Kip might be best! Basically I think sleep should be your priority because it's the hardest bit of parenting alone or in a partnership... Also, make sure your partner commits to a certain amount of time to talk/ message daily which is free, but his support will mean more than any financial/ physical support x

Night nannies are deff an option if you're EBF by the way - I did that. They just bring the baby through to you in bed when they feed, and take it back as soon as they're done and do all the settling. So you do wake up (ish!), but you get a tonne more sleep.

-cleaner
-gardener
-some hours with a childminder or nursery once the baby is old enough (what age is up to you - my first was fine for a few hours at 7 months while I worked) so you can have a break
-lots of relaxed baby groups to socialise

This is my advice to all pregnant people. If you don't already have a TV set up that you're happy with, invest in one now.

Get a big screen and decent speakers and a really comfy sofa to point at it. Get a coffee table you can reach easily and thermal cups with lids.

Subscribe to all the channels. Plan out your box set viewing.

You will spend so much time sat about holding a baby and you'll be much to tired to read.

That is an excellent post.