Anyone have a 4 year old who stims who is neurotypical?

[surreygirl1987]

Hello! I have an almost 4 year old boy. He has hand flapped for years. I know what he is doing is stimming. I believe he could be autistic (he has tantrums still, sometimes aggressive with other kids at nursery). Is hand flapping ever normal for a child or 4 or is it usually autism? Thanks!

My 8 year old still flaps, it has calmed down a little as he has got older but still happens when he is excited or during high emotion.
He is considered neurotypical although in his first years at school they were “watching him” as there were other possible indicators but nothing has come of it.

Many thanks. Hard to know what to think!

My child hand flaps too. I don't think he has any issues, he just gets excited sometimes. He is in Yr4 now, no concerns from anyone else.

Meant to say he also had tantrums until about age 8, totally fine now though

My DD flaps her hands a lot (aged 4). My sister is a SEN expert says no neurodiversity and school agree.

Thanks!! Guess it will be a wait and see situation...

My 4 year old girl does hand flapping and jumping when excited and has done the hand flapping since a young age. She otherwise has hit all her development milestones but can be reserved in new situations and has just started preschool after having been looked after only at home. Her preschool has said it might be good to just talk to a paediatrician so we are seeing one just some additional insight if possible.

Hello @surreygirl1987 I know this is an older thread, sorry. Just wondering if there is any update on your son please

My advice is don’t be afraid of autism, and keep an open mind. It’s totally natural to hope and hope that your child’s traits will be outgrown and show they’re neurotypical after all, but if they’re autistic, it’ll be OK.

Hi @Twiglets11

Not really an update, though it's a shock to realise it's been a year! He still stims, and definitely shows less control over his emotions than other kids. I do suspect he is neurodivergent in some way, likely ASD, but he is also getting along okay. He is less aggressive than he used to be although still has occadaional outbursts. The game changer is going to be when he starts school in September I think - I'll be very interested in how he gets on, and what his teachers think.

Hi how’s your son now ? X

Hello! He did get an autism diagnosis and an ADHD diagnosis too, but he's actually doing brilliantly. Still stimming all the time but mostly happy, doing well in school, and just lovely generally 😊

Hi ☺️ thank you so much for your answer . I have a lovely 18M DD whom I suspect is on the spectrum but being a FTM I don’t know what to look for . She has been hitting all her milestones in terms of communication, language and social skills but she tip toes and tends to rotate her wrists and ankles when excited. Do you mind me asking when you noticed some signs ? Where there others signs as well around 18 months ? She lets strangers give her a cuddle and plays with other kids her age .

I am so happy to know that your son is doing well and wish you all the best of luck and happiness in life

Honestly, every autistic child is different. For my son, he never tiptoed or rotated his wrists/ankles, but he always seemed to be more sensitive to everything than other babies. Everything bothered him and he cried a LOT. Other autistic babies and toddlers aren't like that though. If she's hitting her milestones then that's brilliant. I suspected there was something different about my baby from a few weeks old, but some autistic people are never diagnosed.