Toddler driving me crazy

[lockdownmummax]

My 2 year old has been driving me nuts recently...

she just doesn't understand the word no, which I understand she is young and learning but I feel she knows what she's doing,
For example I have some ornaments / fake plants as decorations on my window ledge, she keeps grabbing them and throwing them on the floor, I've told her no multiple times and when I tell her no she goes " yeahhh" and laughs at me and throws them, she's smashed a lot of my ornaments and photo frames
She threw a photo frame on the ground the other day and stomped on it ( she had shoes on ) I tell her no and she laughs at me
She's constantly throwing her toys all about the house, throwing them at me, toys she's not even playing with she will just throw them everywhere
if I turn the washing machine on she will go and turn it off
She tips the kitchen bin upside down and laughs
she's constantly climbing on me, slapping me, pulling my hair, if we are sitting on the couch she has to be sitting on my knee not beside me or all hell breaks loose
If she doesn't get what she wants she just screams and starts slapping her hands at me
she is kept active during the day she attends nursery 3 times a week whilst I'm working or studying, the rest of the days we either go a walk, go to a cafe or if it's a day in the house we will play games read books ext or play in the garden
I have tried a firm no, the naughty step ect and nothing is working
Any tips? i know she is only young and still learning but I'm just struggling to manage her behaviour just now it's driving me round the bend

The good thing about toddlers is that they’re short. Things that you don’t want them to reach can be put up high.

You’re on a losing streak telling her not to play with interesting things - she might be old enough to learn, but only just and their impulse control is not good!

I really think two is too young for punishment like a naughty step. I suspect she doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’d do a firm No (which is part of the teaching process), then distract.

Read the book, How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen, would be my advice. I think you need to reflect on whether your expectations of your DD are age appropriate. It doesn’t sound like she’s being naughty, it sounds like she’s being 2. It sounds like you need to manage the environment around her more, to be honest.

You need to toddler proof your house

Choose one approach and stick with it. She's probably too young for the naughty step so I'd leave that for now.

For general bad behaviour I would do a stern "no" and remove/distract. For hitting I'd do a stern "no" and leave the room for a second. Whatever you choose, be RUTHLESSLY consistent. Do the same thing every single time. It will take months but you will get there.

Also, it sounds like you're setting her up to fail by providing her with myriad chances to do naughty things! Get rid of stuff you don't want her to touch, move it out of range.

@Honaloulou
@AliceW89 @Flowerymess @MolliciousIntent

Thank you everyone for your replies! Ppart of parenting is definitely reflecting on your own actions instead of your toddlers sometimes so thank you for reminding me of this tonight
It's been a stressful day, I'm also pregnant and exhausted just now so probably making me feel worse!
She's away up to her bed now so I'm going to spend the evening looking at what I can toddler proof, move ornaments out of her reach ect, I also have the kitchen cuboard locks I'm going to put up tonight to stop her getting into the plate cupboard,
I'm a first time mum so the toddler stage has defo took me by surprise lol,
Hoping once I have toddler proofed the house it will make things more easier,
She really is a sweet and kind kid just very determined and likes to explore EVERYTHING

One thing I’ve found helpful is to tell children what to do, rather than what not to do - so in the case what she can do instead of throwing your things. Mind you, my LO is still a baby and this is more from a professional POV - parenting is so different so this might not feel helpful.

Toddlers are really hard work sometimes! My tips: your washing machine might have a lock to stop the controls being messed with? My Bosch one does. I bought beanbags for the throwing stage and tried to redirect to those but yeah all breakable things in the house are pretty much broken or put away by now as the breaking and throwing things stage can last a while. It took a while but toddlers teach you to detach and mentally let go of all your nice things!

Everytime she slaps at you when sitting on your lap put her down in the floor and say no, you hurt Mummy and look sad.

Toddler proof and use stair gates to keep her in/out of rooms

With toddlers its like having a defense system, you have to physically keep them away from seeing or being able to get to things they shouldnt have, it reduces the amount you have to say no..which reduces stress for all

If she throws her toys, then put them away for half an hour (I used the top of the fridge). Say ‘we dont throw toys, we throw balls’..and give her a soft small ball

If she hits something, ‘say we dont hit x we hit drums’..and give her a toy drum to hit and show her

You’re doing nothing wrong, she just doesn’t know what you’re thinking! I remember having to remove the decorative stones from the fireplace when ds1 was about 18 months, he’s 6 now and we’ve had to remove them again for ds2 - but god I’d forgotten about it!

you see plantpots and photo frames, she sees fun interesting stuff which get mummy’s attention when she touches them.

you see the washing being messed with, she’s copying you by pressing the buttons and being helpful,

it’s just a change in mindset which is bloody hard when you’ve never experienced a toddler (or like us, have a 4.5 year age gap and forgot it all!)

Second the beanbags for redirecting throwing. We got these for DD and they've given us hours of entertainment. I keep them in an old breadbasket which can be used as a target. I tell her 'we can throw the beanbags' and model it for her too, often this morphs into a turn taking game. The rings have been unexpectedly brilliant, we do colour sorting, hoopla over a kitchen towel holder, spinning them like a coin, bracelets & more... honestly it's endless.

LATERN 16Pcs Nylon Bean Bags and Plastic Rings, Multicolor Toss Game Sets for Kids Bean Bag Toss Game Garden Backyard Outdoor Games Speed and Agility Training Games amzn.eu/d/bdckxJe

Impulse control + two year old are not words that can be said in the same sentence. I try to remind myself of this fact daily, in the two minutes it took me to nip up to the loo today, wee, wash my hands and get back downstairs again my 2 year old had managed to help himself to two Jaffa cakes and eat most of the evidence.

That's what toddlers do, drive you crazy. They dint call it the terrible 2s for nothing. It is a p

Phase and it will pass.

I have a 2 yo and no ornaments or breakables within reach.
With the throwing, I do similar to PP and tell him he can’t throw X, but we can throw his ball pit balls.

I have a step that I sit him on when he’s Been hitting or doing something he shouldn’t. I carry him there and sit with him to explain what he’s done. We sit until he’s calm and is listening - cuddles if needed, then we carry on.

My DS had a 4yo in tears the other day in the park- her mother just said “it’s a savage age”