Joint account - best way to split?

[fandangofandango]

Hello!

What's the fairest way to contribute to the joint account in this scenario - pre-DC each of us put same amount into the joint account - all fine.

Post- DC, more like 70% DH 30% me - I took redundancy in pregnancy with the view to working for myself so tried to contribute as much as I could from freelance work while looking after DC (DC only in nursery from age 2, and only 15hrs - and of course Covid impacted that too...)

Now DC will be starting school and I can start up my working life again but as my earnings will fluctuate, what's the best to split the joint account - 60/40? I will only be working until 3pm and then in school holidays that would be impacted so unsure on best way to do it . Wondered if anyone else had been in this situation.

Once we had DC all earnings went into the joint pot, and then we each get equal personal spends regardless of who earns what.

My husband doesn't want to put everything in the joint account, which is fair enough as probably better to keep our own accounts for personal spends anyway!

We do it proportional to earnings. Eac

Bugger.

Each of us contributes 70% of our paycheck. For me that's £1700, for my husband that's £800. That all goes in the pot, the rest is for us to keep.

We pay ourselves a (pretty small) personal allowance (same amount), plus a set amount into shared savings. Everything else is for our joint bills and spending.

I earn about 70% of it but wouldn’t want my partner to have less money than me to spend. We’re a team.

If you have a fluctuating income, there is even more call for it to be like this.

This is what we do. Nothing else is fair imo.

It isn’t fair enough, you should each have equal spends as you are doing more childcare.

We also give ourselves equal personal spends and the rest goes in the joint account. Being paid less doesn’t mean you deserve less than your partner, because you’re using your time parenting so you don’t have to pay for childcare fees/they don’t have to cut their hours

Why doesn't he want to pool it all?

Fairest alternative is you each keep (say) £200pcm for personal spends then the rest of each of your salaries each month go into a family account

My husband earns £2500 a month, and I earn £700. Both go into the same account, then on pay day, I put £200 each spending in each of our current accounts, enough to cover all bills and groceries that month = £2500, £200 savings, then £100 into kids account for clothes, days out etc.

We're just happier if we have our own personal accounts for our own spending money - so we both just put what's needed in the joint and then our own money to spend stays in our own account.

He doesn't spend a lot whereas I do things like my nails every few weeks because if I did them myself I would never do it ....!

I wonder if like people have suggested we just do a percentage split each month depending on how much I've earnt. So good month and I can put in a higher % etc. As when it's something like the Easter holidays, I'll have two weeks where I can only do my work in the evenings so won't be putting in the same hours...

After children, THIS ^

You may find that as you are and will be spending more time with the children, your expenses will become much higher as the kid(s) grow up and for that, if he is a penny pinching person, you may need a different account.

The last thing you want is ending paying alone mostly for their upbringing (clothes, food, outings) while your DH cannot possibly understand why are you spending so much money.

All money should be considered family money in my opinion. If you want to keep spending money separate to keep track, then put all money into joint and then transfer out an agreed equal amount each month into your separate accounts.

Much less faff than working out percentages of earnings and so on (and fairer).

We just pool it all. One family one pot.

We just pool everything.

I think your DH sounds a bit of a pain about money.

DH earns six times what I do, so he puts six times what I do by direct debit into the joint pot. The remainder of our monies is then for us to spend or save as we wish.

Why is it "fair enough"? Your income is being impacted by raising his child.

I've been working flexibly part time for 14 years so that I can cover school runs, look after sick children, be there during the holidays. Youngest is in Y5 and so I will probably finally return to full time hours in another year.

Over fifteen years, I will have lost hundreds of thousands in income, while DH's income has soared.

We pool absolutely everything. Right now that includes maxing out my pension because his is going to hit the lifetime maximum - so pretty much my entire take home salary is going into my pension. We plan everything together as a couple for the benefit of us and our children.

So your husband thinks it’s fair he should have more spending money than you, despite you not being able to earn while you are caring for his children?

It can be hard for us to accept £ when we’ve been used to having equal financial power in a relationship, but don’t let a misplaced sense of independence override the fact that looking after your children is the most valuable work anyone in your household does.

XDH was financially controlling, so the above system suited him but got me into debt.

DH and I agreed all in one pot, equal spends out to personal accounts, regardless of income. I was earning a lot more than him when we married.

So anything house / DC related comes out of the joint account - I don't pay for anything myself that doesn't directly relate to me (ie if I go out with my friends for dinner, if I get my nails, if I buy something ... I may for that myself) - everything else is joint account.

I'm not sure he does end up with more spending money than me really? But it's hard because he has less personal bills (mobile that's it) whereas I have mobile, contact lenses etc

I sat down and went through our finances this week (I control the joint account) so maybe we can try pooling and see how it works...

You can keep your own accounts but still have equal amounts of spending money.

You're a family, why should anyone have access to more money than others? In our family we pool everything and spend separately on credit cards which get paid off in full each month. Gives privacy for the actual transactions and we don't keep track of things being equal, but I understand that's important to some people.

You are sacrificing earnings, earning potential and pension to support your family. Needs to cut both ways.

There's no reason you can't have your own personal accounts and still pool your money.

We do the same as what looks like most of the posters on here - have a set amount of spending money each - this does not include things like mobile, contact lenses as these are essentials to us and not luxuries - and the rest goes into joint accounts and joint savings.

Our personal spend is the same amount as whilst DH earns more, we both work equally hard and I am restricted on my income due to working part time.

I put more of my personal spend into savings than DH does, so I have money stored up if I want to treat myself to something more expensive one month!

I just think the issue of pooling it is that I would spend a lot more £ each month than he does, basically he doesn't spend much!

Well it all depends on what you each consider essential.

We found we needed to have a really detailed discussion about what was essential. e.g. my partner needs very hard wearing shoes for work so he shouldn’t need to fund them personally. Haircuts for women cost more than for men, so that’s a joint expense, but acrylic nails is a personal one (etc. etc.)

It can feel a bit strange at first but the more we discussed money openly and agreed stuff the easier it became.

We now often have discussions like ‘is it ok if this goes on the joint account?’ It has also made us both more careful and we’ve saved way more than we otherwise would have.

Yes as others have said if you're not pooling everything then there's 2 main ways you can do it.

Each put in same % of take home pay. So if you bring home £1000 a month you put in 700, if he brings home £2000 he puts in 1400. But you will still have less left in personal account than DH.
Or you agree a personal amount each, say £300 a month, and everything else goes in family pot.

Personal money for us is only for things like hair, nights out, subscriptions, hobbies etc.
Wouldn't class travel to work (which is an essential) or mobile phones as personal. I have teens so whole family has mobiles so that would be considered a monthly family expense.
You want as much as possible to come out of family pot