I would love some other perspectives on this please
my son was suffering a lot of bullying at his old school. We moved to a new area and new school and he has settled really well. He goes out to play a lot and has made good friends.
he has a phone as does his friends. They have the usual text messages (talking rubbish mainly and about football).
I am strict on phone usage at night - I charge it in my room but otherwise he is free to use it without much issue. He takes it out and I can easily call him to see where he is and can track his location.
two nights ago I done my usual checks to see if there were any concerns on his phone. I watched several videos of him swearing to his friends in a park. I asked him about this and he admitted it and I removed the phone for one day and he wasn’t allowed out to play.
the next night I check his phone and it is clear he has deleted several messages. I asked him what they said and why he deleted it. At first he denied it but then admitted it and said it was because a girl has said she liked him and he didn’t know what to do.
I asked him not to delete anything else and he promised he wouldn’t.
next night I do my checks and realise again he has deleted messages. When I confront him he is very upset and saying things like “please take my phone forever I am never going back out again I am never leaving my bedroom again”.
im at a loss. I am going to take the phone for a while but would you say this appropriate. Am I being too harsh? Should he be given some privacy?
I am trying to protect him and see it as my responsibility to control the things he does and has access to on his phone.