Motherhood Hell

[Skye90]

As much as I love my 2 children dearly I am absolutely hating being a mother right now.

DD is 2.8 and DS is 6 weeks. I am exhausted, sick of all the feeding, cleaning, refusing to sleep, calming down, tantrums, nappy changing. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t recognise myself anymore. I don’t even remember the last time I had a shower let alone brush my teeth. My relationship with my husband isn’t there anymore.

does it get easier?

Yes my love, it does.

Will your older watch TV for a short spell? Will the little one be put down at all?
I remember my baby not lying down for a minute, but I would put him in a cot for me to have a shower.

The early years really are the trenches. I'm climbing up the other side, my youngest is nearly 3, and ever month seems easier than the one before.

Does your H give you time to yourself at the weekend? He should take them out even for a 30 min walk and give you a fraction of Alone time. You could suggest each of you having a lie in one day per weekend. Try to talk stuff through with him calmly and ask for his help.

Keep going, it really is shite in the early days.

Actually it wasn't even the cot, he went in a Baby Bjorn bouncer that I kept outside the bathroom for exactly this purpose.
There is a benefit of him being in the steam, when he had a cold and blocked up snotty nose.

I just let mine shout while I was in the shower and cleaned my teeth. I kept the door open. There was no way I could go without a shower everyday. He's 40 now and doesn't remember it. They won't die if they cry for 10-15 minutes.

Yes it does. Don’t worry. Fed and not dead is a great baseline for everyone and work up from there.

I found my mood massively transformed if someone had my baby for even 40 mins so I could get a nap, never underestimate the power of a nap! 😂

I second CBeebies for the older child, it’s not forever, heck even a bit of YouTube kids- you’ve got to get a bit selfish and looks after you first. and the use of sweets for a bit of bribery ( obvs a short term measure) but while everyone is finding their feet, they work wonders with toddlers, it’s a currency they understand.

best of luck, it will get better

I mean, it gets different.

Mine are 2.3 (suspected ASD) and 12 months and I’d be lying if I said I’ve enjoyed it thus far. I get so frustrated and must have at least 30 ‘FFS’ moments every day.

What I find hardest is not being able to enjoy them individually because I always have the other in tow and they do not get along! I feel like I’m just surviving parenting, barely meeting basic needs and never doing a good enough job.

DH and I have both been pretty shocked since having kids at just how low out quality of life has become. We aren’t sure if it’s just us though as others seem to manage so much better.

I hear two close together pays off further down the line though so here’s hoping x

Me, often.

Absolutely it does. You're in the trenches right now. In fact mine have the same age gap and it was the worst time for me, I remember calling the in laws at 8am and asking what was the earliest they could get to me. I also stopped breastfeeding out of panic. Really hard time. Sending solidarity and imaginary coffee.