I think my DC are wild - help!!!

[rukiddingme22]

We have to DS. One is 4.5 and the other almost three.

I feel like somewhere along the line I have lost the thread of this parenting game, because they are wild.

We're currently on holiday and have just been out for dinner. I don't even know where I begin wit h their shenanigans this evening...

Eldest scared a smaller child in the soft play area and child ran away crying. To be fair I don't think he meant to scare him but did.

Eldest then had a meltdown over the drink we'd ordered him. Rather than just saying he wanted water he's shouted and ranted and at on the floor.

Then no one ate their dinners and it was a lot of messing about at the table.

This is all under the gaze of other families in the restaurant. I can feel the judgement coming off them in waves 🫤

We finally left, I was feeling very stressed by that point. We went elsewhere with a soft play area and the full on rough and tumble began. The two of them diving all over each other with zero concern for other children nearby.

When it came time to leave eldest had another meltdown about his shoes and i ended up carrying him to the car a good 10 minute walk away.

Reading this back I see it's mainly my eldest I'm focusing on but youngest is only marginally better behaved.

I feel like an awful parent. I love them so much but it's really a chore to do stuff with them at times. They're definitely more tired than usual as. We're away but surely there has to be a way to rein in this behaviour.

I've had people approach me since we've been here and say oooh boys will be boys 😳

Help!!!

Two not to 😩

Kids are always worse on holiday. When you get home revisit their behaviour and figure out if things need to change.

It's normal as long as it's not all the time! And girls behave just as badly! I hate that 'boys will be boys' expression. It's like saying it's ok for boys to behave badly just because they're boys! I have two boys and I've always tried to nip in the bud anything that's too rough. It definitely becomes less when they're older and you can reason with them and reward them for good behaviour.

Aw, mine were like that sometimes. It can be really hard work going on holiday or eating out with little ones.

I have 2 DSs 21 months apart and sometimes they would just wind each other up to worse behaviour. It's always when you're surrounded by well behaved children too! I then had DD with a 3 year gap so felt like I was being judged for having too many children who didn't behave.

Sometimes they behaved really well though. It can just be a little thing like being a bit overtired /excited then it all goes wrong.

Mine are teens now and (nearly) always well behaved in public with good manners etc

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas beat me to it. My kids are awful on holiday - being away from home totally throws them and it feels like we spend half the holiday re-establishing basic rules.

Mine are 5, 4 and 1 so I'm hoping they'll get better at adapting as they get older.

Try and give yourself an easy time - restaurants with young kids is hard work at the best of times (*waits for the perfect parent brigade to correct me)

I agree with a PP that holidays are always worse. It's the change of routine, the heat, different surroundings. I doubt the other families were judging - probably just grateful it wasn't their DCs turn to play up. Fwiw restaurants with soft plays are too much for some DCs. They're usually hungry but want to play rather than eat.

Just in relation to holidays, we found sometimes when they were little having our main meal at lunch time worked well as they were less tired. If you're somewhere hot it's a good way of getting out the heat too. Then in the evening could be somewhere more relaxed where they weren't needing to sit for so long.

My DS 1 and 2 were incredibly hard work - especially when we were staying at the in laws or at soft play etc. They turned into incredibly polite, kind and helpful teenagers. Just keep being clear with expectations, firm but fair with consequences and it will all come good in the end. My friend had an 'easy' baby/toddler/child and she is having terrible problems with him now.

Mine are 10 and 12 girls. I've always looked at other kids and thought why can't you be more like them. They are worse when together and especially in a place they're not familiar with.

Sorry to say mine weren't really worse on holiday unless they were really really frazzled and tired at the end of a day with a lot of fresh air. They might whinge and moan and then fall asleep.

But what you didn't say is how you reacted and tried to address their behaviour. I think that would affect how everyone else views over-tired children. I'm just wondering if they've been behaving badly why go to another play area?

I gave up on holidays for years because it just wasn't worth the shenanigans.

I agree that kids can be worse on holiday due to different foods, routines, tiredness, too much going on etc.

However, if they’re always lively at home also, then you need to put in boundaries. Pull them up on their behaviour in the soft play area. Warn them that if they carry on misbehaving, they won’t be allowed to carry on, and if they do continue to play up, then remove them from the play area. Ie. Carry through the consequence.

Yes, definitely this! Then when they’re worn out from a day of heat and pool etc if they just eat a bit of bread for dinner 🤷🏻‍♀️It’s ok…
dinners tend to be a bit later on holiday as well which makes it worse.

This
DS was an absolute nightmare toddler and until about age 6. He is 18 and pretty sure to be off to Oxbridge, doesn't really drink, cooks well, has friends and is generally really good company. It will all come right in the end.💐Dd OTOH was a dream baby, I cannof remember one tantrum, a sweet and loving little girl. Now she is a 15yo whirlpool of hormones, make up, piercings, boys and booze, oh and aheisn't very nice to us either.

Over tired and hungry I bet.

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my cry for help.

I've had a G&T and now feel slightly less frazzled.

I'd like to say that individually they're great kids, it's when they're together they egg each other on and it gets wild 🫤

Their behaviour has been significantly worse since we've been away. I think they're over tired, over stimulated and we are under prepared to deal with them!

I think taking having their main meal at lunch is a really good shout and we'll definitely try that.

Usually with the bad behaviour in soft play I'd have them straight out after they ignored a warning but the prospect of bringing them back to our holiday accommodation didn't really appeal.

We don't have any real useable outdoor space and the prospect of two wired toddlers bouncing off the walls in a small space was more than I could take 🫠

When we get home we're going to lay down some really firm, age appropriate rules, with the hope that next time we go away they'll actually stick to them!!

My two can be wild and the youngest is a girl!
anywhere different, anywhere they’ve got an audience and anything involving waiting makes them much worse. We don’t eat out very often.

Ah! What you need is an all inclusive holiday with a play park. Keep them running and then quick bathroom trip, loo, tooth brush and bed. They/you May benefit from a late night followed by post lunch quit time/nap the next day.