Looking for outside opions on my situation with the contact between my son and my ex partner, will be long but the backstory is me and my ex spilt five years ago and my son is now six, during
our relationship he was mentally and later physically abusive. i left after police alerted social services on an assault he committed on me, he was found guilty and i had to get a non molestation order against him as he contuined to harasses
and stalk me , it turned out he has a criminal.history of violence and stalking with a previous partner to me. He was only allowed supervised contact through contact centers but had opportunities to extend his time with our child through third parties but ruined it by verbally abusing my family memembers and friends when it finally sunk in he couldn't do it to me without being arrested again ( due to the non molestation order)
and refusing to let our child come back when arranged. He did not see our child for a while then but his parents have maintained contact during school holidays as they live on the other side of the country, when social was involved they had to sign a written agreement that if my ex was to visit he could not have him alone but they haven't been involved in three years now and the non molestation order is up.
Everything had settled until last year when my ex
moved down nearby his parents he doesn't
live with them as his own dad cannot abide him but he is in the same town as them now as he became in ill health he spent alot of time in and out of hospital he seems to have recovered now, you would think it be a good thing him living miles away but this year he started asking his mum to ask me for overnight contact alone with our son so basically when our son goes to visit his grandparents he asked if he could spend a night or two at
his house as well. i refused and he then messaged me an angry message on a fake facebook account which i blocked. My exs mum has now been taking my son to my exs and leaving my son there to stay overnight when ive said no then trying to get my son to lie about it, she has admitted it is true now and we have had quite a few rows over the phone with her insisting he has changed and he is a good and capable dad , im not saying our son doesn't enjoy spending time with his dad because.this past year he seems too, but i am being vilified by him.with my ex telling him i hate him for no reason and i am the reason they don't get to see each other much knowing he is too young for me to explain properly or understand any of it, he has as good as said in that message he will take him away from me when he is older i still always refrain from slagging him off in front of my child but he seems to know how i feel about his dad, i dont think my son should go to them anymore even tho im very against children being denied access to a parent
or grandparents i have seen personally the damage it does but im fearful for my childs future otherwise ,as his mum is only going to keep sticking up for him, he is a bully and treats everyone including his mum like s* i doubt that has changed his message proves he is still as deluded as ever but i still feel bad for his parents if i stopped my child seeing them even though they have gone behind my back and i also don't want to hurt my child who has a routine of his grandparents picking him up in the school holidays now 😪 just dont know what to do about this for the best?