At school his teachers have nothing but praise for his behaviour, he's polite, courteous, thoughtful, kind,etc etc and (even at nursery) I've never once been talked to about his behaviour - except to tell me how good he's been.
At home it's a completely different story though - we've just got a new behaviour policy home from school for us to read/talk through with our child and to sign to say that we (and they) understand the behaviour which is expected of them.
The expectations are:
That the children will:
- be courteous to adults and to each other
- grow to an awareness of the needs of other people
- use resources carefully and sensibly
- be careful with other people's possession and look after their own.
He does all of that BRILLIANTLY at school - and I'm really proud of him for it (and I let him know lots too).
Now on the policy it also has a list of
The Problems:
The school will consider it a problem when the children behave in the following ways; the list is not in any particular order:
- being insolent to adults, or rude to each other (he does this a LOT at home particularly towards me)
- fighting or any form of aggression (this includes retaliation) - again this happens quite frequently at home especially the retaliation.
- any form of vandalism - I think deliberately throwing DS2's toys around and snapping bits off of them, pealing bits of wallpaper off (ok it was already tatty - but still he doesn't have to make it worse) scribbling on the underneath of the table etc would be classed as vandalism - yes??
distracting others from their work, or spoiling someone else's work - he often does this to DS2
Stealing - we have had some (ok relatively minor - and what some may not even class as "stealing") incidents at home
Swearing - once in a blue moon he'll say a word which I occasionally let slip out - not overly concerned about that as it doesn't happen very often at all.
Not being truthful - constantly telling lies
Making insensitive or racist remarks - apart from (what I would class as) the usual sibling stuff I have no concerns there.
being constantly and unduly noisy - I let them run around and make lots of noise a lot, but on the rare occasions I do ask them just to sit down and do something quietly 9/10 he'll keep making noise.
bullying - not sure whether I'd class the "sibling" stuff as bullying - but it often comes very close.
He doesn't do anything like that at school (or when he's out anywhere else - whether he's with me, or not) - so why is he doing it at home????
Where am I going wrong??? I used to be able to deal with it calmly and just move on, but it's happening so frequently now I must be doing something wrong.