Supportive thread for parents whose kids eat a lot and who are worried about their weight

[Rainallnight]

A couple of months ago, a couple of threads about kids’ weight had some parents saying that their kids really liked to eat, they worried about their kids’ weight but they struggled to know what to do because they didn’t want to give their DC issues in later life.

I was one of them and thought it would be good if we had a supportive space where we could worry about it together! And maybe share some ideas 😀

I’ll start. DD is (just) 6. She’s a funny, lively, sparky girl but naturally tends towards being sedentary and would rather, say, sit and draw, than run around. I am really noticing the difference between her and DS in this respect

She loves, loves food, especially carbs. She’d eat as much toast as you allow her to have.

She is a fairly anxious little person and eats more when she’s anxious. We adopted her and I think there are possibly some issues stemming from that.

she can get very angry and agitated if you don’t allow her, say, more toast.

It can be very hard to know what to do because denying a child food feels wrong but we have to work REALLY hard to steer her to healthy options and say no to seemingly endless requests for snacks.

I haven’t weighed her in a while but last time I did she was overweight. She doesn’t look ‘fat’ but is definitely not slender (can’t see her ribs).

Hoping for some people who worry about similar things. If you’re joining in to say ‘my Jemima only snacks on kale, you’re the parent’, or anything else that doesn’t really get the reality of living with a kid like this, then move right along!

Yes my daughter is 6. She doesn’t appear to have an off switch with food. Always thinking about it and concerned where her next meal/ snack is coming from. She is slim because I keep her so active, doing sport most days. As soon as we have holidays she gains weight as she gets more treats and is out of her routine. My son on the other hand treats food like fuel and often forgets to eat if busy. He is whippet thin. I worry she will gain weight as she gets older when I have less control of her diet. I do talk about choosing healthy foods and them giving her muscles etc and try not to use words like fat as don’t want to give her a complex.

Op your daughter sounds like me. I love bread too and I'm an anxious eater as well.

I posted recently about ds (10 months) who loves his food and who has been told by the health visitor that he's gaining weight too quickly and I need to reduce his intake. Im reluctant to essentially put him on a diet though. It seems wrong to deny food to a child as you said.

I've thought of a few other things I can do. Some might only apply to babies but I'll out them down here in case they help anyone else (I hope they'll help us as well):

1. Let him feed himself: hopefully when he has to work a bit harder for his food it will prevent him from just mindlessly opening his mouth and letting me stuff him way past when he's full. For an older child maybe this translates to giving tricker to eat food like chicken on the bone or steak that needs to be cut.

1. Give him exclusively healthy food. As a baby he's anyway not meant to have sugar or salt but I think even beyond the age of 1 I can continue sticking to healthy stuff, which he loves anyway. I wouldn't restrict him from eating anything when he's with others or when he in the odd occasion asks for them but I guess I can try to not offer sugary or salty treats or sweet drinks myself. (This makes more sense for us bexause we've also got a DD who is severely underweight and I'm at a stage where I'm happy to feed her anything just to get some calories in. Yup, two kids at the extreme end of the spectrums. We must be doing something wrong!!)

1. Lots of outdoor time, playground, sports (when he's older), etc. Lots of opportunities to move.

I’m going to follow but need to do a name change as DONT want linked to previous posts so I I’ll be back

im going to be adding from a teenager/possibly genetic link/non medical with no underlying issues (social/medical)

Hello all! Great to have some company.

@Nutellaonall I can really relate to what you’re saying about no off switch. It’s exactly the same here. Can I ask what you do to get your DD active?

Hello @WhatTheHeckShrek Wow, that sounds really challenging.

@Hyvsvaar Do come back!

@WhatTheHeckShrek Found your post interesting. 10 months is so young to be told to cut back on food isn't it? I have an 8 month old who is determined to eat us out of house and home. I'm pretty much doing the exact same as you with letting him feed himself and healthy food only (no choice at this age like you said). Any days that he has eaten a bit less he wakes at night and drinks a full 200ml bottle. Was yours always a big baby? Mine has been 98th percentile in weight and height since birth but we haven't had a weight check since he was 4 months old. We have one next week though so I'm wondering if they'll comment on his weight. He eats 2 to 3 times more than my friends babies the same age but he's also a lot taller so I don't know if I need to be concerned or not.

She just does every sport I can get her to. It helps that she has a sporty brother and wants to do whatever he does. I try to find stuff they can do at the same time to make my life easier. So martial arts, cricket, tennis , swimming as well as dancing just for her. If it’s a class she is game. Less keen on walking. Put off by lockdown. I want to make sport a fundamental part of her life not just something you do to lost weight which I think it’s the problem with a lot of girls.

Oh yes and lots of outdoor time too. We are always at the local playground school/weekend.

Coming back to this thread to see how we’re getting on over the summer holidays! It’s pretty tough here. We’ve just been on holidays and DD tantrummed for baguette quite a lot 😬

@Nutellaonall @Hyvsvaar Would love to know how you’re getting on.

I’m increasingly feeling like we need a strategy plus a bit of a diet overhaul to deal with this, rather than answering each snack request as it comes. Upping protein to increase feelings of fullness might help though DP is concerned that she’ll just end up begging for and eating more of that.

I read this v interesting article about over eating. It’s quite academic but sounds like a potentially interesting approach. It won’t let me post a link but you’ll find it if you Google the following:

Restrictive feeding and excessive hunger in young children with obesity: A case series

Sally G. Eagleton, Callie L. Brown, [...], and Joseph A. Skelton

@Rainallnight have you thought about posting on the adoption board, there are some posters there with a lot of knowledge. It’s very common for adopted children to have issues with food, even if adopted very young (i don’t know if that applies to your DD or not). Have you thought about trying to have a routine/timetable with your DD that might help her understand when the next meal/snack is coming?

My 6 year old DS is not adopted but is a terrible snacker and always claiming to be hungry, especially in the school holidays. One thing we’ve had some success is a snack box. He has a Tupperware box and each morning we choose 5 snacks to go into it - sounds like a lot but some are very small. It has to include at least 2 pieces of fruit and then the others will be things like a baby bel, a couple of crackers, a yo-yo or a biscuit etc. He can choose exactly when he eats them but when they’re gone, they’re gone. Usually the first couple of days he wolfs down all the snacks by 9.30am and then regrets it for the rest of the day - then after a day or two he realises he has to spread them out. But he likes being in control of when he has the snacks and I wonder if that might help your DD too.

Hi @Robostripes, thanks for your response. Yes, I’d thought about posting on the adoption board though I’d seen a few threads where it was an issue for non-adopted kids too.

I like your Tupperware idea. If he’s hungry apart from that, can he still help himself to the fruit bowl or is that it?

I am thinking of more of a timetable, having read that article I mentioned above.

@Rainallnight nope the rule is when it’s gone it’s gone, though he does get pudding after tea on top of the snack boxes so he’s certainly not starved of food! Usually when he tells me he’s hungry I know he’s simply bored.

Good luck with the timetable idea, hope it helps for you!

I thought I would return to this thread as realised I forgot she’s ago. still have the same issues. We do talk about healthy choices more. She def put on weight over the Christmas hols. But she always drops it in term time as she is so active. I guess for the moment that is my main way of controlling it. Instilling a love of sport from a young age and doing a variety so she has plenty to choose from. Currently she does dancing, gymnastics, martial arts and swimming. She is naturally athletic which helps.