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Moving from down south up north- advice please!

5 replies

Willsoo · 20/06/2022 15:22

Hello. Please can I get some advice about a dilemma I’ve had for a long time now. I know people don’t know the ins and outs of this situation but any general advice would be much appreciated.

I’m coming up to 4 years married and now have two kids. We currently live in the south east of England in the London borough of Bromley. We live in a nice part but it costs us over £2,000 each month to live in a 3bed semi detached house we own on top of our bills.

I’m originally from near Liverpool and my husband is from down south where we live. I’ve been living in the south for around 7 years now and would like to move back up north to where my family are and where it is a bit cheaper.

My husband however says he wants to stay down south and says his job is down here. Plus he has all his family within 5 minutes of driving and friends. This isn’t entirely true as since the lock down he can actually work from home and is the reason why moving up north now might be possible.

Another reason I’m now wanting to move up north is because the relationship with my mother in law has become quite bad since having my eldest. I find her controlling and rude and I’m not sure I can cope with living down her and having her so close by still.

We have more friends both of us down here and despite not liking my mother in law, she has been great in terms of childcare with my eldest (although she likes to tell me how to parent!).

My main question is, do we take the plunge and move up north? Cheaper cost of living and be near my family? Or is living down south where my husbands job is mostly finance and based in the capital a better idea where he has more opportunities and we have more friends? we need more space either way as currently in a 3 bed semi and we want 4 beds. Hubby is wanting a loft conversion and I’m leaning towards moving to a detached home-4 bed.

That’s it in a nutshell but very much appreciate any advice on how to handle this tricky situation and anyone who may of done this move recently!

Thank you in advance!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Pwhi15b7 · 29/08/2022 01:24

Hey, reading your post was like it was coming from me! We have a new born and (from my perspective) an interfering mother in law. I'm desperate to get away from her and restart back home however my wife doesn't want to move due to her family and friends being in close proxiy here, HELP!

SilverLiningPlaybook · 29/08/2022 04:57

Family and friends are crucial when you have children. I wouldn’t move in either of your cases, just work at improving relationships with MIL or creating stronger boundaries.

Fuuuuuckit · 29/08/2022 05:36

If you do move, it's unlikely you'll be able to move back south. I say that having done it myself - the difference in house prices alone has skyrocketed and there's no way we could bridge that gap without downsizing massively.

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Ginmonkeyagain · 05/03/2023 09:45

Does it have to be Brighton or the North? Brighton is a very expensive oart of the SE. There are cheaper areas than Brighton on the Sussex and Kent coast.

Also think about why you want to move - is it just affordability of housing or do you want a different lifestyle? Different job opportunities?

Ginmonkeyagain · 05/03/2023 09:47

Oops that comment was meant for a completely different "leaving the SE" thread. 😳

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