Breastfeeding tips please?

[Mummytimeztwo]

Baby girl due sept :) I have an amazing DS already - I formula fed him from the get go

i had a planned c section I was so nervous about being a first time mum too I just chose to formula feed I was too scared of not being able to breast feed then feeling like a failure. Plus DP has lots of male family and I wa s scared about feeding in front of visitors

This time I’d really like to try breastfeeding - any tips are welcome. Some questions I have are:

• How did you do it with visitors? I’m limiting them this time round but we’ll still have family round and this makes me nervous
• How to get a good supply if possible?
• is it possible to do when I have my 3yo DS? I’m worried he may feel like I’m not doing much with him if I feed the baby a lot and can’t get DP to feed her etc

Answers...

1. I don't think my response will be helpful but I literally did not give this a second thought. Everyone knows babies need to eat so I fed them.

1. Lots and lots and lots of skin to skin, and basically just put baby to breast as much as you possibly can for the first 6 weeks. Drink a LOT of water.

1. Yes it's absolutely possible. I'm currently feeding 4m DD2 and 2.5yr DD1 has adapted easily. After a few weeks you'll learn easy positions to have both in your lap at the same time, and then feeding time becomes cuddle time for your big baby too. Also, get your DP to step up on quality time with the toddler.

Hey! Congrats on the upcoming arrival :)

I also thought about feeding whilst having visitors as I felt nervous. To begin with I'd go upstairs to feed, then I moved to trying to cover with a blanket when I felt confident....then I felt sod it and figured babies head was covering the boob and most normal people don't stare at your boob! First time may feel a bit odd but honestly? No one cares :)

Supply - my DD had tongue tie so just watch out for that as midwives are not trained in it but if baby latches well, they will sort your supply out! When they're really little they'll seem like they're CONSTANTLY feeding, I think I had 12 hours of off and on but that's what tells your body to get a move on. But oats do help so stock up on hob nobs and porridge! Fenugreek tablets can also help. Also, don't panic when after your milk comes in your boobs then go "soft" - totally fine, means your body knows what baby needs and doesn't need to guess/ over supply. People can think it means baby isn't getting enough, your best way of telling is via nappies (that's how I caught tongue tie as I noticed nappies weren't right)

I only have one DD so can't help on the third point but other suggestions I've seen are to prepare in advance! Get some games/ toys ready and maybe start in advance talking to them about what will happen when you're feeding. During cluster feeding time maybe get someone to come and help? I'm sure more experienced mums and dads will be along to help more on this point :)

I didn’t really have visitors but can they ushered into a different room (dh says come and help me make tea while mummy starts feeding) while you latch and then drap a muslin over you.
Good supply, eat properly, lots of water, more than you think you need and feed, feed, feed.
I only managed to combi feed DD1 for 6 weeks but DD2 was born when DD1 has just turned 3 and and she had one bottle a day from week 1 to week 6 and then she was ebf. It helped that DD1 went to morning school nursery so I didn’t have to worry if we didn’t go anywhere in the evening.

I wouldn’t worry about feeding in front of visitors. It’s easy to do it discreetly when they’re young and they should give you privacy anyway!

Try to schedule some daily one to one time with your older child even if it’s just ten minutes to read a book with them so that they continue to feel special.

Make sure you’ve got a good support network. My first DC was practically glued to my boobs for the first six months and used to cluster feed all evening etc. It was pretty exhausting! However, second DC isn’t like that at all and it’s all been a lot easier this time round.

A website I find invaluable is kellymom.com - loads of good info on there about breastfeeding.

Good luck and try not to worry about it - enjoy it!

With my first I was nervous to feed Infront of my family moreso than out and about in public but after the initial first week where it would take a while to get the latch right, it is very easy to feed discretely. Use the one up, one down method - wear a vest top under whatever t shirt/jumper you're wearing - t-shirt or jumper pulls up and best too pulls down, so nothing really is on show.

I find breastfeeding a lot easier with a toddler around as you have one hand free to read a book etc rather than having to hold a bottle! Good luck!

*That should have said - and vest top pulls down!

1. I used to be worried about breastfeeding in front of others but when I did it in front of others I realised that actually the baby covers your entire breast and nothing much can be seen anyway. It's easier when they are a not older though and latching well and don't keep pulling off. I also recommend nursing tops from smallshow. They hide you but are easy to use.

1. Feed, feed and then feed some more. From both sides. Also, drink lots of water. I had a few litres every day and still felt thirsty all the time..I also felt that my mill supply was less when I didn't drink enough.

1. My DD was 5 when Ds was born. I sometimes read to get while feeding ds or we chat or play a simple game (eyespy or 20 questions or something like that is great because you don't need your hands)

Most of all breastfeeding is hard initially. Don't put too much pressure on yourself if you run into problems.

Point 1: I meant when I breastfed in front of the mirror I realised that others would be able to see very little and that's what some people confirmed to me as well. The baby covers you up nicely.

I had baby boy in Jan and really struggled to get to grips with breastfeeding, maybe due to low supply; not sure why but we have muddied through and still going somewhat at 5 months (he is combi fed) here are my tips:

• Avoid nipple shields at all costs
• get a spectra breast pump if you want to pump at all
• F* the visitors- for the first few months all that matters is getting boob in baby’s mouth as much as possible; leave the room and fed as you like as if they weren’t there!
• do not limit your diet.. the opposite- eat lots drink lots. I immediately tried to lose weight after birth and I think it was just too much for my body to make milk on no energy.

at the end of the day, fed is best so don’t lose your mind if it doesn’t go to plan. I lost my shit for a while as had lots of issues with bf and felt awful awful about it. so happy now we have some bf still in our day.

best of luck xxx.

In terms of coverage you can get some really pretty multi-use ginormous muslins which are great as cover ups, and double as summer blankets, changing mat when out and about, mopping up spills, scarf for you, and most recent use today was as a cloak for 2 yr old DS for dressing up. My favourites were the aden + anais swaddles www.adenandanais.co.uk/baby-swaddles-and-blankets/swaddles

The reason I say avoid nipple shields is because they may help overcome some pain for a few days but they teach baby to latch as if it’s a bottle and that’s a nightmare to come back from. Plus the way they latch to a nipple shield then means their suck isn’t as effective so you produce less milk over time and it’s a bit of a downward spiral. I had all these issues and got nipple thrush also from using nipple shields I believe which we really really struggled to treat both of us. So if anyone gives you nipple shields, throw them in the bin!! X

Learn to feed lying down!! Took me aaaages but once I cracked it it meant I could nap with him and if I did fall asleep feeding then we were in a safe position.

Look for any support groups. Where I am we have a free latch on service who are so so so amazing. They came to my house to help me feed and they also do groups everyday that double as a baby group that I still go to now 7 months later.

good nursing Bras and lots of nipple cream.

drink lots, it makes you really thirsty.

But most important of all, don’t put pressure on yourself. If it’s not working out and you’re miserable, it’s really not worth it. It’s for such a short time in the grand scheme of your child’s life that your better off doing what works and enjoying them while they’re small.

Also agree with @PashunFroot we feed lying down, it’s the only position baby boy will tolerate! It’s great for snuggles if you’ve got big boobs 😂 I’ve found lying down I can feed him and give him a Kiss on the head at the same time 😂😂😂

another tip someone gave me on here I think saved my bf with my baby - he was on a nursing strike and just would not feed other than bottle, not interested in bf - was the dangle position!! V hard work but got us through a tough patch. Lying over the top of baby and dangling your boob in their mouth. Quite hilarious to be honest but saved our bacon! X

My pro tip is get really good breastfeeding tops and jumpers. Having the right clothing is key to feeling confident to breastfeed out and about. Boob Design (Swedish brand I think) is my favourite, super good quality. Expensive, but has lasted really well (going on 3 years of heavy wear).

Also, learn how to feed when your baby is in a carrier/sling. That is also a game changer. Good luck!

Visitors: I am very introverted and when it came to bf in front of visitors/ in public, I found it so difficult. Bf was a lot more awkward than I’d hoped. Everyone’s body is different and some women can bf discreetly but not me. LO was also very fussy when feeding which didn’t help. There’s no way she’d let me cover her up either! So basically, I didn’t feed in front of anyone really only dh, dm and my sisters. I would find somewhere private to go feed her if others were there or if I was out and about. You’ll only know what works and what you are comfortable with once ur doing it.

Supply: I just fed her and fed her lots and lots! Plus I let her use me as a soother and she napped still attached a lot. I’d say just bf as much as you can to build supply. And as pp said, stay well hydrated.

Its not very helpful but as to bf when you’ve got a toddler..you will just have to wait and see how it goes I’d say and please don’t be hard on yourself if it’s too difficult and you need to supplement or go with ff. If I had another baby when dd’s still a toddler, I always knew I wouldn’t be able to feed them the way I fed her. Honestly, it took up most of my day and night for ages and was very intense. However my lo had a medical thing going on which made feeding more awkward and also made her want to nurse for comfort an awful lot. Every situation is different and I hope it works out great for you.
Oh and by the way, I had to use both hands to nurse til she was well able to support her head (not because of the medical thing, it was just the only way it worked for me). I envy women who are able to have a free hand while nursing but sometimes it doesn’t work!

How to get a good supply:

Feed often. Very, very often (DC1, every 45minutes). Every time they open their mouth out your boob in it. Seriously.

Learn early feeding cues- opening mouth, licking lips, pushing tongue out, turning their head. Feed them. Don't wait for a set time or for them to make a noise or cry. Yes, this will mean taking seemingly happy baby off visitors - don't be put off by this.

In the evening (witching hour) when they are crying and grabbing at you. When they seem ravenous and scream at your boob. When they beat their tiny fists on your chest and won't keep your boob in their mouth, JUST KEEP FEEDING. It's really tempting to give a bottle then, for that to be their regular bottle slot but it's the time when your body is planning the longer term milk production. See it as baby putting in its order for the coming days and weeks - give formula at that time and the order won't be ready on time. By all means give a regular bottle to prevent bottle refusal, but make it earlier in the day.

Honestly, best advice: just keep feeding. As long as baby is wearing and has a moist mouth, you are making enough milk. Breastfed babies don't poop very often, by 6weeks mine were only going once a week.

Breastfed babies lose more of their birth weight than formula fed babies - health visitors/ midwives are trained to recommend top ups at a 10% loss but this is based on a study of formula fed babies, breastfed babies can be fine at 12% as long as they are weeing and have a moist mouth - dry mouth = dehydration.

With regards to the 3yo - I learned to feed sat cross legged on the floor. I'd like baby on a pillow on my knee and feed, keeping both hands free so I could read or play with my eldest. He was happy I was on the floor with him. I'd usually just build a simple 4 block Duplo thing, parallel play style and he was happy with that.

As for visitors - just make sure you feed baby when they need it, not when the visitor thinks they need it. Crying is the last feeding cue.

visitors-only limit to people
You are happy to bf around and try and schedule them for earlier in the day. I have found both mine to be more settled in the morning and ramp up the fussiness/cluster feeding come the afternoons.
Supply- eat and drink loads until breastfeeding is well established (6 weeks earliest). I was back to my pre pregnancy weight by 2 months pp and I still ate like a pig. Just the stone of pre pregnancy weight gain to lose now 😂.
Toddler- I haven't heard of anyone who has a toddler who tolerates you feeding. They all seem to hate it. Just make sure when on your own they have a snack/drink handy. You have the tv remote so you can bribe them and lots of patience.
Other tips- if baby won't latch try shields, it's the only way my first would feed. We ditched them after 8/9 weeks. Get baby checked and double checked for tongue tie. Hakka is amazing in the early days for engorgement. Slather on the lanolin nipple cream, absolutely loads of it to stop cracks. It will hurt regardless of what they say while your nipples toughen up but it does get better. Just take every feed at a time!

Best advice I had, which I will pass on... when you feel like you are flagging, and feel that maybe you don't have enough milk, instead of topping the baby up with formula, top yourself up with a sandwich. I regularly ate a couple of extra meals a day whilst establishing breast-feeding, but once the supply was established I found I no longer needed to eat so much

Congratulations 🥰
How did you do it with visitors? I’m limiting them this time round but we’ll still have family round and this makes me nervous - tbh I just did it infront if them as I was really keen on normalising it, however I always covered myself with a large muslin. If you're nervous though just ask to do it in someone's room at whoever's house you're in, I've also done that before!

How to get a good supply if possible?
It all varies person to person but if you like up foods that encourage lactation there's a lot put there (oats spring to mind!) And drinking lots of water

is it possible to do when I have my 3yo DS? I’m worried he may feel like I’m not doing much with him if I feed the baby a lot and can’t get DP to feed her etc - I think with this you'll just have to play it by ear, you can be sit with him while you feed, ask for his help with nappy changing like pass you a nappy etc. And maybe set some time where it's just you two and DD is with husband, like a Saturday morning mummy son park trip.

Pretty much second everything that's been said already. Here's a few extra thoughts;

1. Visitors: At first it's going to feel a bit weird feeding in front of people, draping a muslin over your shoulder and babies head helps but my DD always used to pull it off 🙄. Visitors in the mornings are best, no late afternoon or evening visitors until you've got the hang of everything as this is when baby will want to be constantly on the boob - as in ALL the time.

1. Good supply: drink water, eat snacks and feed the baby whenever they ask even if you have literally just fed them. Don't go by schedules with a breastfed baby, if they are saying they are hungry, feed them. Your body and baby will sort supply out, the constant feeding in the early days is the baby prompting your body to make milk and you'll probably find you know when a growth spurt is coming because they'll up your supply again.

1. I don't know, due with no. 2 shortly but from seeing friends it's entirely do-able. Chatting, reading, snacks all seems to work. I think thr older one just adapts.

Have you thought about expressing milk and give it from the bottle now and then? It is extremely time consuming, but it also gives you more freedom for example when you have visitors or you out with family. If you pump after breastfeeding that's also increases your supply!