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Lonely mum, love it but losing myself

2 replies

lovesT · 18/06/2022 13:45

But of background - I'm 16 weeks pregnant with our second so this may be a bit hormonal, lol.

I'm so lonely. I'm feeling really low at the moment.

We have a 2y 4m old who I love more than anything and I can't wait to have another. But with the pandemic and then moving twice since she was born I have no solid parent friends apart from one mum who is great but we now live 8 hours away from each other 😥 we still catch up on the phone and are going away together with our toddlers in August but I don't have friends I could meet up with in the week etc. My husband has been super busy with work lately, it will calm down but I think that has added to it, he's now away for the week so I'll be even more isolated.

I miss working but I don't want a non that will keep me away from my daughter for ages plus I have no one reliable enough to look after her. There is a possibility of a job where my husband works at some point but not sure yet.

I'm an extrovert, I NEED people and social interaction. My family are introverted so don't really understand and they're quite draining for me to hang out with.

I've done posts on social media, been to the toddler groups, joined mum groups on Facebook. I do try but still haven't found friends that I can talk to and do things with.

I want to go out more with my daughter but I can't afford it with no currently working and cost of living/ petrol prices etc. We can do some things but I have to be careful. I have savings but until I work again I need to be careful there too.

I feel like I'm mum and nothing else. It's all I've ever wanted to be so why do I feel so crap? I'm doing my degree part time from home too but now I'm questioning whether I can do it this year with another baby coming along. If that goes then I literally have nothing else and I really am just mum (not that that's nothing, but I feel like I've lost myself).

My husband has all these hobbies now (connected to his job) which are great, I'm happy for him. But it highlights how boring my life is and he actually needs to do these too as part of his training so it's not like he's just off doing one of them and leaves me to it, but it does make me feel more lonely and more boring.

I get my energy from being around people but I don't have that so I'm constantly exhausted and have times where I feel really down.

Surely I'm not the only one? How do parents keep going with nothing for themselves?

Daughter is going to nursery when she's 3, she's not ready yet and we can't afford to before then anyway so that will be next year. I'll miss her, I don't want her to go yet, but I don't feel like I know myself. Plus I'll have a wry young baby then anyway.

Being a mum is what I want but I need people around me, just to chat, have a laugh, do stuff together. Without that I'm running on empty!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BlueGlitter88 · 06/02/2023 13:32

Hey,

I came across this post whilst searching for posts about this very topic. I see this was posted a while ago. I am now the same amount of weeks pregnant as you were then. I feel exactly the same way. I am a natural extrovert, and used to have a thriving social life and travel for work regularly and pleasure whenever I could. All of this has obviously stopped. I feel I have lost who I am, and I am only just taking my first tentative steps to motherhood. I know and hope it will all be worth it in the end. I have wanted a child of my own for as long as I can remember. But honestly when I'm feeling low I wonder if I have made a mistake. I just wanted to say I hope things got better for you. I was sorry to see no replies to you when you were so obviously looking for support! I hope life with two has proved wonderful for you.

BabyMamaOf2 · 04/05/2023 16:32

@BlueGlitter88 are you okay now? Just seen your comment and feeling the same❤️

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