Ds refusing to sleep in his cot

[WhatTheHeckShrek]

Ds (10 months) has started refusing to sleep in his cot. We finally also lowered it yesterday (I know way too late) and now he hates it even more. The moment I put him in he starts screaming.

I think I need a proper routine where I put him in his cot awake as so far he usually falls asleep while bf. I thought it would be ok as he usually wakes up when I put him down in the cot and then quickly settled with a bit of patting and goes back to sleep.

Anyway so fhst doesn't work anymore. I don't want to let him cry it out bit yesterday I kept picking him up every time he cried, gave him a cuddle and tjrn put him down in the cot again. It involved a lot of crying and finally he fell asleep from pure exhaustion. I'm not sure what else to do but I'm so sleep deprived I'm really struggling. He won't sleep in my bed either. He wants to be carried and walked around with. Also I'm worried he'll crawl or roll out of my bed.

What do I do? I don't need a super quick fix and I want to keep crying and distress to a minimum

Also he normally sleeps in a sleep bag but because he doesn't settle in the cot he tries to get up on all fours and pill himself up, which is very difficult in the sleep bag. I'm worried he'll bump his head. Yesterday night was so hot anyway so I just removed it but what do you use for older babies on normal days? Any blanket he'll just kick off in two minutes.

You could carry on with pick up put down as you did yesterday.

Or does he need to drop a nap?

Sleep is a bit tricky once they learn to pull up but it does pass. I'd keep him in the sleeping bag on cooler days, he won't do any damage bumping his head on the cot from standing.

I know this won’t be popular but I can only tell you the old fashioned advice. You make sure he is alright, read him a story, talk to him gently and put him in the cot and explain that it’s time to sleep. then you close the door and leave. Yes he will cry but he will go off to sleep. He might cry the next night, but it won’t be for so long. and by the fourth night he will accept that he is in his cot and its time to sleep. If you give in every time he cries he will never learn to settle.

That is not true. They do learn to settle even if you help them every time they cry, it just takes longer. Your method isn't wrong but it's not the only way.

When are you meant to lower the cot?

And can you get in with him? I've been known to climb in with mine and feed them till they settle

You should lower it when they can sit up in case they start to pull up and flip themselves over, lowering it when they actually pull up makes sense though, the only reason to do it earlier is just in case because there's always a first time. If you're not leaving them unattended in it then it doesn't really matter.

I let him nap till 5pm today. That's going to be a fun night...

Hm a friend of mine used to do that but I doubt it will hold my weight (80kg). I'm not sure till what weight it's rated. It's the IKEA one. I think it's called Gulliver.

I just looked it up. Apparently 11kg. That means even Ds is too heavy for it...

Sorry it's 20kg. Phew..still not for me though

My little one did this. We went through a 3 weeks phase of them wanting to sleep on the floor and hating the cot. They just slept on a 'den' style made up bed on the floor. One day, they suddenly wanted to sleep in the cot again. We just went with the flow. It's just a 'phase'. If it's safe enough- I'd just let them sleep where they want in their room. But yes, definitely frustrating at the time.

Could it be the heat as well? That always seems to make it hard for my DC to fall asleep.

It is a really common phase when they first learn to pull up on things though. All of mine have done it.

Hm the only place he wants to sleep on seems to be me...while I'm walking up and down

The problem is I don't see how this will ever be effective. He will basically just cry himself to exhaustion every night and then fall asleep. It seems almost as harsh as letting him cry it out except that he won't be alone while crying. 😕

Ergo baby sleep sack with legs. Makes life much easier. I think there are other better priced brands now though but that worked wonders for us. We let mine fall asleep bf on me and put into cot until 1 then just switched to formula and cows milk and dh did bed time. Hard week but didn't take long until he was a super sleeper without me.

Good idea I'll check out

How did your dh manage to out your DC to bed?

Can’t he just sleep with you? I bought a superking so there’s always been ample room for DH and I plus baby (baby always next to me only). I’ve had 4 children and they’ve always transitioned to their own beds fine as they got a bit older - babies shouldn’t sleep alone.

He sleeps in his own cot next to me in our room. I was too scared of Sids to put him in the same bed when he was younger and now he doesn't like it. He either cries or tries to crawl to the edge and throw himself off the bed.

I bought a Montessori style floorbed. DS3 never slept in a cot. And only started self settling at all at 18 months. It’s easy to share a floorbed with him (and sneak away again). He’s ‘fallen out’ of the bed about twice in his life, and it didn’t hurt. It’s not far enough for that.

He’s very happy with his bed at nearly 2.

I used to sit next to the cot on a chair not even speak and look at my phone or something and each night I'd move the chair further away, until I got to the door. Eventually I'd sit at the door for a minute and leave the chair there, I'm not sure if in the dark I think he thought I was still there. X

I'd try a floor bed. Feed sleep and roll away.

Of course they should..unless you live in a part of the world where there are insufficient beds.

Not the best advice but I get in the cot with mine & put her to sleep. She then sleeps till about 4/5am. If I have to resettle her, I get back in - she used to be really bad for sleep but is improving day by day.

I just had to resettle her now - literally got back in the cot, and she rolled over back to sleep - a month ago I would of had to feed her back to sleep etc etc. I'm shocked at how much better it is now.

Ye sat next to the cot. Ds cried for ages. It was horrid but he held his hand so he wasn't alone. 2 bad nights then it got easier. A week and he was super happy.

Yes, I'll try that but I think we aren't at that stage yet. I'm happy to stay with him till he falls asleep as long as he's in the cot but he just screams the moment he touches the cot.

At least that's what he has been doing. Today was a bit better. He's got a bad cold and slight temperature so gave him some Calpol..maybe that helped. Or maybe he's been so unsettled because he wasn't well? Anyway today as soon as he started crying I sang nursery rhymes and then just the wheels on the bus while patting his tummy till he fell asleep. It took forever and I guess he'll be up soon again but at least he didn't cry so much.

Thanks for the help everyone. I know at some.point I need to figure out how he can fall asleep on his own and all your advice is really helping.