Moving in with partner and issues with who has which bedroom

[danimarie82]

Hi All

I'm hoping for some opinions here from people who are away from the situation and can therefore be objective.

My partner has asked me and my 15 year old son to move in with. He has a 16 year old daughter living with him now but she will be moving out in the summer holidays to go and live with her mum 100 miles away as she wants to go the college near her mums. The daughter currently occupies the second biggest bedroom and my partner thinks my son should cram into the tiny third bedroom which is a 6ftx6ft room so just about room for a bed and not much else.

I think given that his daughter won't be living there and only coming back for school holidays and my son will be living with us full time that he should really be allowed to have the bigger room. However I don't know if I'm just being a bit blinkered here to what is best for my kid.

Just to say, I currently live in a two bedroom house so it is not practical for him to move in with me either.

I don't want to cause animosity or upset to anyone so any advice or opinion would be appreciated.

Thank you :)

Wrong time to move. If you move now it’s a shit deal for your son.

It would be so incredibly selfish to force your son to have a room like this. The poor kid would hate it.

No it's her room. You can't just move her out to move your son in (even if she isn't there all the time).

To be honest I wouldn't move in to this place. Find somewhere with equal sized second and third rooms

I agree you should t move I to his place. Either wait until his daughter goes to Uni /moves out properly or rent somewhere else that has 3 good sized rooms.

Thing is imo that waiting until he's 18 won't really mean he won't need a room in your house.

Reality nowadays is that children live at home longer or if he goes to uni he'll come back for holidays.

As I doubt in 2 years his dd will just expect her place in the house to disappear either.

I agree with posters saying to find somewhere now together that accommodates you all equally.

new not now!

It's not a matter of being entitled, it's a matter of not moving until you and your son are both happy about the move. Your son is not going to be happy if he has to live in a tiny bedroom while there's another bedroom lying empty. I can see that your boyfriend's daughter will want to keep her own bedroom as well.

I wouldn't move at this point.

It’s not great for either of your kids. I’d be inclined to wait a couple of years or move somewhere with a better set up.

Why now? What's the rush?

Does he own his house? If so could a wall be moved to even out the room sizes?

Wrong on so many levels!!! Why do you need to live with him??? Are you married??

Do not move in ... a 15 year old boy is really at a challenging time of his life, does he want to move in with his mother's lover and his DD? ?

Get another house together.

Stay where you are. Problem solved.

Stay where you are or find a bigger property together.

Not fair on either child.
If you want to live together you need to get a house where both kids get a decent room.

You're not wrong, and if he can't see that, you shouldn't be moving in with him.

Has anyone asked the DD? If she is moving to live with her mother, then a sensible 16year old would realise it’s a bit off to keep a room she doesn’t live in.

His house is just not suitable. His daughter shouldn't lose her bedroom in her own home even though she is not there all the time. Your son shouldn't be forced into a tiny room. Why do you need to move at all? If you insist on moving in together then you should get a brand new place and make sure it is fit for purpose

No way I'd uproot a 15 yr old if I didn't have to. Especially cramming him into a tiny bedroom. 15 as an age sucks monkeys balls man.

There is plenty of time for all that stuff. Don't do it, just because your bloke will be lonely on his own.

Have you spoken to the daughter to see if she would mind changing rooms?? She might be fine about it.

You need to find a new home that will accommodate you all in comfort. Otherwise your son will be miserable in a tiny room, his daughter will be equally pissed off if she's relegated to tiny room. I'd stay put till you come up with a plan for a home that is yours as a couple with a family.

Never move into someone’s existing house. It never works. It would be beyond awful for your son. Beyond. Neutral territory or not at all.

Stay put.
100%
When all the kids leave- you can move in then

It can work to move into one of the existing houses. I moved in to DP's house which meant one of his kids moving to a smaller room and one of mine sharing with one of his. It helps a lot if the kids are on board with it. I wouldn't have don't it if they'd all been dead set against it